Split Second
by Biscuit15
Summary: When Verde manipulates Mammon and Xanxus into sending Bel to him for an experiment, none of the Varia could have ever guessed Verde's true intentions were using Bel as a test subject to research male pregnancy. When the Varia finally find him, Squalo knows only the Vongola can help the now-traumatised Bel and his new child. Takeshi x Bel MPREG YAOI
1. Chapter 1

It wasn't every day the Arcobaleno requested the help of anyone – especially not the help of a dysfunctional group of outcasts who had once turned against their own allies. Usually, said group would refuse to lend their hands, but that changed once money – especially large sums – was brought into the equation; Mammon, the ever-greedy baby she was, never could turn down a request once cash was handed to her.

That was why Belphegor found himself walking into the abandoned building Mammon had told him to go to, having been given orders to help with the Lightning Arcobaleno's newest research experiment. He didn't know the details; just that an extremely powerful Storm flame was required to activate something within the experiment, and Verde hadn't been able to find one as strong as the blond's.

"So you've arrived."

Bel looked around at the voice and instinctively slid a knife out of his sleeve; there weren't many people he trusted, and Verde was someone who had always given him a bad vibe. "Where are you, Lightning baby?"

Verde stepped out of the shadows so that he could make his presence known. He looked the same as ever, but there was something in those eyes that Bel didn't trust; something he couldn't put his finger on, but knowing there was nothing but malicious intent awaiting him. "Right here."

"Mammon said you need my Storm flames." Bel spoke carefully as he watched for any hint of a threat; he didn't want to be here, but after Mammon had somehow convinced Xanxus to send him off…

Well, a mission was a mission, and one didn't disobey Xanxus if they wanted to live.

"Yes, your Storm flames would do perfectly for my research." His smirk widened slightly as his eyes wandered over Bel's thin frame; it would have been unnoticeable to other people, but the blond didn't miss these kinds of things; he hadn't been praised as a battle genius for nothing, after all. "If you'll just come this way, we can begin."

Bel had no intention of going anywhere so soon; he had already put himself into a position he was uncomfortable with, and he wasn't about to lower his guard and get hurt; who knew what this crazy baby had in mind for him? "What's the 'research'?"

"I'm researching the potency of flames and exactly what kind of things they can achieve. I want to measure the theory that a larger flame will unlock more potential long-term."

"And how do _I_ fit into this?" Not moving an inch, Bel was so focused on Verde, he didn't sense the second presence in the room coming ever closer to him – and even if he did, he would never have found it anyway; not with the invisibility suit covering their body and hiding them from the teenager's awareness.

It was when Verde's smirk widened into a twisted sneer did Bel tense up and draw a handful of knives, knowing he had to get out of here while he could. However, before he could so much as aim at the Arcobaleno, he was taken by surprise at the sensation of something sharp pricking his skin, feeling much like a syringe.

Bel jumped away and searched wildly for an enemy, but when he was unable to see anyone else but Verde in the room, he knew he was at a disadvantage; how was he supposed to defend himself against an enemy he couldn't see? He winced as he felt his vision starting to fade as a surreal feeling enveloped him; raising a hand to the junction of his neck and shoulder where he had been pricked, his suspicions were confirmed when he felt a small droplet of blood roll down his neck. "What… did you do, baby…?"

Verde didn't bother answering; he simply watched as Bel collapsed to the floor in a heap with his knives scattered around his motionless body. Addressing his subordinate in the invisibility suit, he spoke in a calm manner that betrayed his intentions; Verde was anything _but_ gentle in this moment. "Take him to our Headquarters and have him prepared for our research. Be sure to restrain him as best as possible; no doubt he will try and escape."

With that said, Verde turned around and walked back into the room he had come from. He would return back to his Headquarters and see how his newest research was coming along soon; first, he needed to make sure no one would come looking for Bel.

 _ **~~XX~~**_

When Bel came to an undetermined amount of time later, his vision was cloudy and he was finding it hard to move his body; his limbs felt heavy, as if there was something weighing him down. He looked to the side and blinked when he took notice of handcuffs around his wrists, with chains leading to the wall behind him. Looking at his feet, he found the same setup; was someone going to torture him for information or something…?

Bel let out a strangled cough as he vaguely recalled something about an Arcobaleno and research. His mind was too foggy to think coherently, and all he could comprehend was that he was not supposed to be here.

"B-boss…" The boy whimpered for Xanxus before he let out a shudder as he felt a burning sensation run all through his body, as if his blood had been set on fire; what had been done to him…? "Boss…"

"It's no use."

The Storm Guardian tensed at the voice that broke through his haze. He lifted his head to blink at the doorway, and he was able to make out blurry figures standing by it, but apart from that, he was too blinded to make out much more.

"Your boss doesn't know you're here. None of them do. If they ever _do_ bother to come and look for you, they won't find you."

Bel mumbled something unintelligible, his words slurred from whatever he had been drugged with. He sighed as he dropped his head back to the mattress, finding it too hard to keep holding it up. Groaning softly at the pain coursing through him, he tugged his left arm, rattling the chain.

"What are you waiting for? Give him the last of the preparations."

Bel could do nothing to fight off the tablets that were being shoved down his throat, and he could only flinch when he felt more syringes pierce his skin. The ache in his tummy he hadn't noticed until now exuberated, and if he could, he would have curled into a ball from what he could only describe as feeling as if his insides were being ripped out of him; he wasn't articulate enough to see the large wounds on his stomach that looked as if someone had cut him open, but he could still feel it – and, hell, did it hurt.

When Bel felt someone grab his hair and yank his head up, he whimpered quietly; he couldn't make out who had gripped him, but he was slowly recognising the voice by the doorway as Verde's.

"I will come back in a few hours to see how his body is faring. As soon as he is ready, every one of you may take him as many times as you wish."

Bel wasn't coherent enough to fully grasp the meaning behind these words, but even so; he still knew that he was in for something horrible; he should have known from the second Xanxus told him to go to that building that it wouldn't be as simple as lending his Storm flames, and now, it looked as if he were about to pay the price of _all_ their ignorance. He could only hope he was going to get out of this soon.


	2. Chapter 2

For two days, Bel had been chained to the bed. He hadn't heard from the Varia at all, and the only contact he had had with people was through the Lightning Arcobaleno coming in to examine his stomach with medical tools. Bel didn't know what had been done to him, but after constantly being force-fed medication he didn't need – hell, what the medication was even for, he truly had no clue – he had begun feeling very sick, and his stomach was causing him a lot of pain. Bel wasn't the kind of person to let this show; he instead hid it as best he could, trying to formulate a plan to escape – but no matter what he came up with, it was useless.

Laying on his side, Bel stared at the door as it opened. He glared hatefully as Verde stepped in, with a small mob of men and two women behind him. Trying to retain the small amount of dignity he had left, Bel sneered. "What do _you_ want?"

Verde chuckled, not saying a word as he jumped up onto the bed. Withdrawing a syringe from his pocket, he pricked his captive's neck with it and injected the fluid into Bel's body before saying, "I never did tell you why I took you, did I?"

"Fuck you!"

"Oh, I'm afraid you won't be getting that pleasure; instead, these gentlemen behind me will be having that honour."

Bel couldn't hide the look of horror these words instilled in him; what… the fuck…? "…"

"You see…" Verde fought back a laugh as he put his hand on Bel's cheek in a mock-soothing gesture. "I've always wondered if there is a way for males to become pregnant, and if it _is_ possible, if the process can be quickened. I've attempted it on a few males before, but they didn't last long; the process killed them. That's why I requested you in particular; you are young, healthy, and above all, a Varia member; you should be able to handle such a delicate situation better than most."

"You're fucking sick; there's no way I'm going to get pregnant!" Bel tensed up as panic started filling him; looking at all those men in the doorway… If Verde was serious about this, then…

Verde shook his head and said, "That's what the other test subjects said, but the baby did indeed begin developing; however, their bodies were not suited to carrying, and it killed them."

"I refuse! I'm not -!" Bel quietened down at this, feeling himself getting hot, despite the fact that his room was cold. He frowned as he took notice of a strange feeling running through him, and he immediately understood what was wrong; that needle had been different from the others. "What was in that needle before, baby?"

"An aphrodisiac."

Bel's eyes widened, and for the first time since he was a little boy, he felt like crying; he was exhausted, stressed, and now he was being told he might be raped any minute now; that would be enough to set many people on the verge of tears. In the quietest voice he had used since his arrival here, the boy said, "I don't want sex from _anyone_. I do not give my consent. If any of them so much as come near me, when I get out of here, I will give the lot of you the slowest, most painful death I can muster."

"Yes, but you have to _get out_ first, and that isn't going to happen." Verde was as calm as ever as he waved his hand at the others by the door. The two women stepped forward, making their way to the bed. "I have given these lovely ladies some experimental drugs, too. I would like to test how quickly their pregnancies can be rushed as well. I hope you'll enjoy your time with them; the other men will take you as soon as you are done with the women."

Bel whimpered at this, flinching when one of the women reached out and caressed his face in a seductive manner. His dignity was forgotten as he knew there was nothing he could do to stop this from happening to him, and he resembled nothing but a frightened little boy, whimpering for Verde. "I don't want this! Let me go, or I'll kill you all!"

Verde didn't reply; he just left the room and closed the door behind him. Bel felt as if his entire world fell apart at this, knowing that his one and only hope of stopping this had turned their back on him. Unable to stop the first tear from rolling down his cheek, the boy tried desperately to buck off the hands that were working to undo his belt, but it was useless; no matter what he did, he couldn't get away.

It had been a long time since Bel had been frightened enough to scream, but here he was; sixteen-years-old and in hysterics as he was raped repeatedly by men and women alike for hours on end.

When Bel was finally left alone, he didn't care for anything but the fact that he could now curl into a trembling ball and cry his heart out, and if anyone saw him, he couldn't care; his first time had been rape, and nothing he had ever been through had scared him like that did.

 _ **~~XX~~**_

Bel didn't know how much time had passed before the door opened again. He flinched as his heart started racing at the thought that it could be those same people back - but instead, it was Verde.

Bel forced his tears to stop as he snarled. "I fucking hate you… You'll be the first one I kill…"

Verde rolled his eyes as he jumped onto the bed with a few medical tools in hand. He reached out to slide Bel's semen-stained shirt up to reveal his stomach, but he stopped when Bel let out a cry and moved as far away as he possibly could. He showed no remorse as he simply followed the boy, and when he finally was able to stand next to the trembling body, the Arcobaleno completely disregarded the frightened tears that were now rolling down his victim's face.

"Hmm…" Verde tapped at his chin before he pulled a scanner of some sort to his side. "No hint of pregnancy just yet."

Unable to stop himself from snapping, Bel growled, "You can't even tell this early in a _girl!_ "

"Yes; usually it takes a few weeks. However, my equipment is far advanced, and it knows when someone has been impregnated. I must congratulate you, though; both women I sent in to you have tested very likely to be pregnant. I will let you know the results of your children if they survive the incubation."

Bel gasped at these words as fresh tears fell from his eyes. It was true he had slowly matured enough through his teenage years to decide that he would one day like to have children when he was older, but this…

This was just…

"Fuck… you…" His face went as pale as a sheet as Bel sobbed silently and continued to tremble.

"Oh, you are wrong again; if you enjoy the sex that much, you'll be happy to hear that I will send the men back to your room within the hour."

"No…" Terrified by these words, Bel's tears came harder. Resorting to something he had never thought he thought he would ever do, he begged like the commoners he looked down on. "Please, no… Please… D-don't…"

Verde did nothing but sneer, remaining silent as he finished up his tests. When he was done, he jumped off the bed and walked towards the door. "I will send the men to your room very soon. I advise you to rest as much as you can, because the only rest you'll be getting is when I come to check you. Other than that, you will be a very busy boy."

Bel sobbed as he looked anywhere but at Verde; no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't understand what he had done for this to happen to him. Why had… his own teammates betrayed him by sending him here…?

Wishing he could understand what he had done wrong, Bel tried to hide away in his head, but the reality of having people do things to him he didn't want and had never done before was too overwhelming; with agonised screams and cries, Bel could only beg to be left alone, but his wishes were never heeded; not even once.


	3. Chapter 3

Bel had lost track of how long he had been chained to that same wall; all he knew was that he wanted to go home, where he could lay in his warm, comfortable bed with his door and windows locked and never have to deal with anyone again. There wasn't much he couldn't handle; he was a Varia member, so it was expected of him to be able to deal with whatever came his way – this, however, was something he had never been prepared for, having always thought this would never happen to him.

But here he was, in tears and trembling like an abused puppy as Verde sat on the bed next to him and examined his stomach once more. He had been raped so many times, even the sound of footsteps approaching his room was enough to send him into terror, wanting nothing more than to never have to see another human being again.

"It didn't take you long at all to conceive." Verde looked into Bel's face that was sweaty from distress and smirked. "It only took one day, and already it's growing at a rate quicker than I had anticipated. I may have to terminate this one; I can't see it surviving the birthing process with the preparation you have been given, but at least we know the experimental drugs are doing their job and changing your hormone levels to where I want them to be."

Bel sniffed at these words and curled up tighter. Moving to hold his stomach, he shook his head, his whimper full of terror as he whispered, "D-don't… It's m-my baby…"

"Even after it was conceived through means you didn't even want?" Taunting the younger, Verde moved closer. "How could you ever love something that was given to you through such ways? It may have come from your body, but at the end of the day, will you ever love it as you would had it been birthed by a woman of your choice?"

Bel sobbed, but otherwise remained silent; it was true he was terrified of the things that had been done to him, and he knew he was far from ready to be a parent, and that, if this had never happened, he may have had his first child when he was much older and mature enough to care for it – but the happy things he had dreamt of would never happen now; not after what he was being put through. Maybe Verde was right, and maybe he would find it hard to father a child born of this situation, but it was his baby nonetheless, and now, he was seriously doubting he would ever be able to go out and try for a baby in the future. This was his only chance of having the child he had been wanting for a while now, and he would do his best by it, no matter how hard it was.

"You're not…" Swallowing back his fear, Bel tried to grasp what little pride was left in him, but it wasn't enough to stop his voice from quivering like the frightened child he was. "…You're not taking… my baby…"

"It won't survive much longer anyway; it will be easier for me to terminate it now and then we can start again after making a few adjustments to slow the development to a pace compatible with your body." Shrugging his little shoulders, Verde showed nothing but contempt as he continued on. "You didn't react this badly when I told you I terminated the two babies the women had conceived from you. Was that because they raped you? Or because the babies weren't growing in _your_ stomach? Did you care at all for them?"

It was true the news he had been delivered previously had upset him; they were his children, after all, but he couldn't feel the way about them as he did for the baby growing inside him. Was it because having been raped by women felt surreal to him? As if he was dissociating from something he was still struggling to come to terms with? It felt real whenever the countless men Verde had at his disposal paid their visits to the blond, but whenever Bel remembered being held down and forced into sex by two women – _women!_ – there was just something about the situation that caused Bel to partially shut down, as if his only coping mechanism was to pretend it had never happened, that he had never been weak enough to have _women_ take advantage of him.

Bel wiped at his eyes when Verde backed away from him. His shoulders shook as his tears came harder; why couldn't he just go home…?

"I'll be back soon to get it out of your stomach, and then we will start again." Verde had turned around to leave, but he stopped when he heard sudden coughing. Looking back at Bel, he frowned as he noticed the boy leaning forward with a hand over his mouth as he coughed up blood.

Bel whimpered loudly as he curled inwards further while a terrible pain in his stomach he had never experienced before crippled him. He continued coughing up blood as the pain grew worse, and he was sure he could feel his pants becoming damp with his own life fluid, too. Keening loudly as nausea washed over him, Bel tried hard to distract himself from the burning sensation in his stomach that felt as if his insides were being rearranged carelessly.

Verde didn't say a word as he took a surgical knife from his pocket and held it to Bel's stomach. Not caring enough to do anything to numb the pain, he pushed the blade through pale skin, creating an incision. Bel screamed at this, and with the pain he was already in, it was enough for him to pass out.

Verde didn't care for Bel's wellbeing; all that mattered to him was keeping his test subject alive.

 _ **~~XX~~**_

When Bel came to, the first thing he did upon becoming coherent was to reach down to his stomach and hope it had been a dream. However, upon feeling the stitches in his skin, his eyes instantly welled up with tears and he thumped his fist angrily against his mattress; his baby had been taken from him, and he hadn't even been allowed to express his wishes in the matter.

Squeezing his eyes shut tight, Bel wished he were dead; death was better than this, after all.

 _ **~~XX~~**_

When Verde was approached by his followers a few hours later, he was given the news that the small group had finished with Bel and had left him in his bed, but that the boy's wound had reopened from struggling so much. Verde dismissed this, not too worried; as long as Bel survived long enough for a successful birth to be carried out, he couldn't care less for the Varia member's condition.

"I am looking to lower some of what is included in the drugs I have been giving him." Verde was stoic as he surveyed the others. "It seems something within the dosage has been too high for all test subjects, and so the foetus is growing at a rate faster than what the temporary womb I've put inside them is able to handle. I need to find a way to balance both the development of the foetus and the womb, or I may need to replace yet again another subject."

There were murmurs around the room before Verde spoke again, addressing a woman who had just walked in to join the others.

"Veronica, did you join the men before?" Stoic as he received a shake of the head in response, Verde said, "There are aphrodisiacs stored in the medication room; you know what to do."

With a nod, the woman left once more without a word; she quite enjoyed her time with Bel, because the more the boy struggled to get her off him, the more he unintentionally pleasured her into powerful climaxes. She hoped he would soon learn to just lay back and let it happen, because as good as the sex was with him, it often annoyed her to be with a partner who did nothing but cry during.

Maybe today she would smother him with his pillow until he was unconscious and have her way with him then and there.


	4. Chapter 4

It hadn't taken Bel long to discover that he was extremely fertile, because it hadn't even been an hour after losing his first baby did he discover he was once again carrying. He didn't know how long had passed by ever since then, but it had been long enough for him to lose several more babies and finally birth a living one. However, the baby had been taken from him before he could so much as look at it, and he never saw it again. To only add to his heartbreak, he had been treated as a breeding machine yet again, and if _this_ baby survived, he was beginning to lose hope of being its parent.

Bel didn't know what was attractive enough about him in this situation for everyone to continue wanting to have sex with him; his stomach was swollen with his baby, and it had been so long since he had been able to leave the bed, he was covered in filth and surely smelt rancid.

But even so, that wasn't stopping any of them from raping him repeatedly.

"Oh, baby, you're so big…"

Bel stared blankly at these words, having long-since become numb to this; he hated it even more than he had on day one, but crying and screaming had gotten him nowhere; all he could do was just lay here and hope that they would be done soon.

"Ah! That's it! You're so good!"

Closing his eyes, Bel wished he could still cry, or at least tell them that he wasn't doing anything; he was just laying here, as still as a statue, trying to pretend he couldn't feel the pleasure the aphrodisiac was forcing him to feel. "…"

"You really love this, don't you?" The woman moaned as she bounced on top of the boy and sent a shudder of disgust down Bel's spine. "You're so cute, baby. You make me want to come just thinking about you."

Bel looked to the side, anywhere but at that woman; he didn't want to see what was being done to him; he just wanted to curl up and go to sleep and never wake again. "…"

"Ah! I-I…! I'm going to come…!"

Bel's body tensed instinctively as he felt pressure tightening around his unwanted arousal, bringing him to his own release, too. A stray tear fell down his cheek as he felt small hands cup his cheeks and bring his face up for a kiss. He didn't have the energy to resist; he had lost that long ago. Allowing the tongue inside his mouth, Bel didn't reciprocate; he just waited until it was over.

"Baby, you're so good. Let me feel how well your tongue does."

Bel didn't try and pull his face away when the woman moved her body closer to it; he had tried and tried and _tried_ to resist and stop everything and just _get away_ , but nothing had worked; fighting back had only made it harder on him.

Finally, once his 'prize' was placed in front of his face, he resigned himself to the fact that he was just a slut and might as well get it over and done with; poking his tongue out past his lips, he made the first lick, feeling as if he could throw up from what he had always viewed as a disgusting act.

"Don't cry, baby; you're doing well."

Bel cringed at the fingers that ghosted against his cheek. He could feel his first tears in however long falling down his cheeks; it must have been an automatic response, because he was feeling so numb, he wouldn't have even realised he was crying had it not been pointed out to him.

 _I want to die…_ Feeling as if the voice in his head was as pitiful as he felt, Bel allowed his mind to scream and whimper, thinking all the thoughts he had lost the capability of saying out loud. _Why can't they just kill me…? Why are they doing this…?_

Wishing he could at least raise one of his hands to rub at his eyes, Bel knew he could only lay there with a wet face; his restraints had not been removed once during his stay, and his wrists were bloodied and chafed from how long he had been trying to pull them free.

 _It's useless… No one's going to come…_ Hardly aware of his tears coming harder now, Bel continued to lick; oh, just hurry up and leave the room already… _The Varia mustn't even want me anymore… Why… have they left me here…?_

Unable to find comfort in the hand that was stroking his hair in a soothing manner, Bel let out a pained groan as he felt his stomach cramp; whatever Verde had done to make this possible in the first place, he seemed to have finally perfected it to mimic a women's pregnancy, albeit quicker. "…"

"Oh, baby, you don't have to worry about that stupid parasite; just think about the here and now; think about me, okay?"

If Bel wasn't feeling so empty, he would have been angered by his child being referred to as a parasite; even if it had been born of rape, born in such an unnatural and unheard of manner, it was still his child, and he was bringing it into this cruel and unforgiving world. He knew it was selfish of him to birth it while he was in this place, but he couldn't bear the thought of terminating it; if only he was stronger… If only he was able to protect the children he had beared, he would never let them fall victim to this place. He would take them away and even if it meant never returning back to Varia, he would find somewhere he could call home and give them the life _he_ had never had.

But none of that was possible, and Bel wondered if he would even so much as get to hold any of his children before his purpose here was finished.

"You know, you –"

Bel flinched at the sudden feel of hot liquids on his face. He opened his eyes to see what had been spilt on him, and they widened as he took sight of the gaping hole in the woman's chest, realising that he had been sprayed with her blood. When the world around him flickered in a manner he was very familiar with, it was then he realised that he, too, had been caught in an illusion.

"Fucking hell…"

Hearing the all-too familiar voice before he saw his long-haired superior, Bel didn't know how he was supposed to feel; was he supposed to feel joy that he had been found? That his comrades had come back for him? Was he meant to be relieved that he would be leaving this horrid place with the baby that was inside him?

"What the hell have they _done_ to you, Bel?"

Closing his eyes and feeling as if he could throw up when he felt the restraints on his hands being removed, he shuddered in horror as he next felt someone picking him up from the bed. He couldn't cry; he couldn't thank his fellow guardians for coming to take him home; all he could do was lay there and stare in silence as he was carried out of a base that held enough corpses on the way to the exit to make Bel believe that maybe, just maybe… Every single person who had done _that_ to him was dead.

Still not speaking as he was carried outside and to one of the Varia's cars, Bel remained numb as he was soon placed inside the vehicle, strapped into the front passenger seat. He felt a tiny warm body sit next to him, but he couldn't look at the person he was closest to; all he could do was stare at his lap and hope that he had escaped, and he could _finally_ keep his child and be a parent to it.

How good a parent he was going to be, Bel wasn't sure, but he would do his best; he was sure he was never going to be able to have another baby after this, and so he would treasure it.

 _ **~~XX~~**_

After having been taken back to Varia Headquarters, Bel had been carried into the infirmary and laid down on one of the beds, waiting for their Sun Guardian to come down and examine the boy. Bel had _hated_ the looks of pity on everyone's faces, but he just couldn't find it in him to say anything; it would take energy and motivation he had been lacking for a long time now. He had curled up on his side on the mattress, tugging the blankets tight over his fragile body, and when the Sun Guardian had tried to remove them as gently as he could, the boy had just screamed in terror, unable to bear being touched.

It had taken a while, but finally, Bel's comrades had coaxed him into letting them help him.

"How's it looking, Lussuria?" The long-haired man who had been the one to carry Bel away from that nightmare was standing near the bed, his usually-angry expression instead looking somewhat confused and slightly concerned; while they were Varia members, this man had always held a somewhat-soft spot for the Storm Guardian.

The man named Lussuria looked up with a look of disbelief on his face from touching Bel's stomach. "Squ-chan… Well… I think I might be _very_ wrong about this, and I don't know how it's possible, but… Well, I think… Bel-chan is pregnant…"

"Voi!" His shout caused Bel to cringe and curl into a frightened ball, but the long-haired man known as Squalo took no notice of this. He instead reached out and grabbed the front of Lussuria's shirt and dragged him closer. "Don't fuck around! What's the deal with him?!"

It was the baby who had been floating so quietly by the bed who spoke at this. "Squalo, I think Lussuria is correct. This is Verde we are talking about; there's no telling what he's capable of doing. And look at what we found Bel in. He _was_ sexually abused to an extent."

Squalo's mouth opened and closed like a fish, wordless at this; how was he supposed to believe that his strongest subordinate was… was… _pregnant?!_ "…"

Lussuria, who was almost always calm, turned his attention back to Bel. "Am I correct, Bel-chan? Are you going to have a baby?"

Bel sniffed as he nodded. "…"

"Bel-chan…" Under normal circumstances, Lussuria would have been overjoyed and gushing, but not now; _this_ pregnancy was nothing to celebrate, because who knew what emotional and mental damage had been inflicted on their Storm Guardian? "Bel-chan, I… I don't know what to say…"

Moving an arm that felt far too heavy to be his own, Bel rested his hand on his stomach, finally touching what would soon be his baby for the very first time. He wanted to smile, but even as he rubbed tiny circles into his swollen mound, he couldn't help but don an exhausted look that reeked of uncertainty and nervousness. "…"

Lussuria knew Bel well, and to see the boy showing even the slightest affection to something… "Do you want to have this baby, Bel-chan?"

Bel nodded, too tired to keep his eyes open for much longer. "…"

Looking at his two companions standing by the bed, Lussuria was surprised to hear these words; he had never thought Bel would be the fatherly type, much less for something in _this_ situation, but…

Reaching out, Lussuria took a trembling hand and used the firmest voice he possessed. "Then don't ever hesitate to ask for help if there's anything you need. Now get some sleep; we'll take you to your bedroom soon once the IVs put more food and water into you."

Bel nodded, not needing to be told twice; falling asleep, he finally was able to rest easier; finally… _finally,_ he was away from all that…


	5. Chapter 5

Bel had been carried up to his bedroom the next day, and ever since then, he had refused to leave his bedroom for anything; he kept his door locked at all times, and his windows, which were usually open for the nice breeze, were shut tight, not even his curtains drawn like normal. None of the Varia knew what they were supposed to do; Squalo wandered around the bedroom corridor every now and then, pacing in front of the boy's bedroom as he stared at the door thoughtfully, but he never attempted to go inside; he would just go back to his own room or somewhere else. Lussuria, the ever doting mother he viewed himself as, would use the skeleton key to let himself into Bel's room and coax him into eating meals and having baths, but the conversations they had once had about random things didn't happen anymore; instead, it was Lussuria talking enough for both of them while Bel just laid on his bed, taking a few nibbles at his meals before pushing the plate back to Lussuria in silence. The Sun Guardian tried his best to make Bel eat more to provide for the baby, but for whatever reason, the idea of food, let alone eating it, was only making him throw up. Mammon, the Arcobaleno who had once never seemed to be able to rid herself of Bel's presence, was finding it uncomfortable to not have to tell the boy to leave her alone, and she actually found herself missing the other. Their boss, Xanxus, was as indifferent as ever, but hadn't assigned any missions to Bel again. And Leviathan, ever-eager to please Xanxus, made it clear that he didn't care for Bel's condition at all.

While Xanxus and Leviathan did nothing to try and help Bel, the other three did, but it was hard to help Bel when he just wanted to be left alone. As much as they wanted to be able to, they couldn't understand what their young teammate was going through; none of _them_ had ever been through something so barbaric before.

Bel had only been back home for a month before he made his first venture from his bedroom, finding himself in Squalo's office. He was trembling violently, and his arms were wrapped around himself as he looked anywhere but at Squalo. When he spoke, it was in a frightened whisper that told Squalo they may _never_ get the old Bel back.

"My bar fridge stopped working…" Referring to the tiny fridge Squalo had bought for the Storm Guardian so he didn't have to walk up and down so many stairs in his condition, the boy lifted a hand to wipe at his eyes. Squalo couldn't be sure, but it looked as if the younger was about to cry, and he had no idea whether or not to blame the trauma or the pregnancy for that. "My coke isn't cold anymore…"

"Bel…" Squalo stood up from his desk and moved to stand by Bel's side. He reached out to put his hand on the smaller male's shoulder, but he quickly rethought that when Bel recoiled with a frightened yelp. Sighing, he shook his head before saying, "Alright. Let's go see what we can do. I'll buy you more coke if you want me to."

Bel nodded, waddling behind his superior. It was a struggle for him to walk like this, and he hated how slow he had become, but he couldn't make himself move any quicker; his body was just too heavy for him to adjust to. When they returned to his bedroom, he pulled himself up onto his bed and watched as Squalo inspected the bar fridge.

Bel couldn't help but finally speak, asking the question that had been weighing on his mind for as long as he had been tortured. "Why didn't… Why didn't you come sooner…?"

Looking back at Bel, Squalo felt his eyes soften at this question; if they had gotten there sooner, then the boy would not be in this situation, or at least as badly damaged as he was. Now, they were paying the price of their negligence. "We thought you were dead, Bel. You were missing for months, and we never heard from you. No one had any information on you; you just… disappeared. We knew you would have gotten into contact with us if you were alive, but you never did… What else were we supposed to believe?"

Wiping at his eyes again, Bel whispered, "Then how _did_ you find me…?"

"The Vongola Arcobaleno, Reborn. He had heard something, and tipped us off." Turning his attention back to the bar fridge, Squalo unplugged it from the wall so that he could roll it out further. "We came as soon as we could; it was just too late."

Shaking his head, Bel tried to look past his tummy and to his lap, but he was too swollen to see it. Picking at the shirt that was far too big for him, he hoped his baby would be born soon and then he could go back to his own clothing; he felt uncomfortable borrowing Lussuria's shirts and jackets so that they would fit over his bump comfortably. "Do they know…?"

"Not yet."

"…"

"…"

"Squalo…?"

The man looked at Bel when he heard the frightened whimper, and he looked away again when he saw the steady stream of tears rolling down the boy's face. Speaking in a gentle tone he didn't even know he was capable of, he asked, "What is it, Bel…?"

"…I'm scared…" His tears came harder as Bel let out a sob. "…My baby… I'm not ready…"

"No shit you're not ready, Bel; you're still just a kid. But you wanted to keep it, and it's the only choice we have now. We just have to figure out how to get it out of you when it's ready to come out."

"I don't… know… how to be a parent…" Crying harder, Bel finally revealed his fears; it had been agonising to keep it all locked inside, and he finally was ready to divulge it to someone he trusted. "I never… thought… I would be one this young… I thought I had years… to get ready…"

"Bel, we want to help you. We don't want you to go through this on your own; we need you alive and well, even if it's just so we still have a Storm Guardian."

"I don't want to be in the Varia anymore…" Almost falling into hysterics, Bel hugged himself tight. "I just want my baby…! Please…! I just want… my baby…"

Squalo had never seen Bel like this before, and it was honestly unnerving; the brat had always been a headache who could never seem to keep himself out of trouble and always made more work for Squalo when he went out to 'play', but… Bel had been _happy,_ and had really just been a child who had seen and done too much. This… This wasn't _Bel_. "…"

"Please, no…" Whimpering incoherently to himself now, Bel rocked himself back and forth. "Please…"

"What have they _done_ to you…?" Squalo was almost too scared to get up and go near Bel lest he set the other off into a panic, and he felt as if he could throw up; the things he had done in his own life, to other people… Squalo was the furthest thing one could be from a good human; he was a murderer who sought out strength and power; he had stolen, he had partied, and he had fucked. He had done horrible things himself, but what had been done to Bel…

Well, even _Squalo_ would never have done that kind of thing to anyone.

 _ **~~XX~~**_

Bel was curled up in his bed that night as he watched TV in silence as Mammon sat beside him, reading a book. The boy's screams of terror had woken everyone up just after midnight, the Storm Guardian plagued by relentless nightmares, and Mammon had taken it upon herself to try and help Bel research his new role in parenthood. The blond was content with listening to the baby read passages out loud so that he could absorb them into his mind for later reference; he was a genius, so he wasn't concerned about forgetting anything. He had many questions, but despite the clear-cut trauma he was experiencing, it gave Mammon hope to still see a hint of the childish innocence Bel had once possessed.

And then, when Bel rolled over and gave Mammon the most heartbroken, frightened look she had ever seen him wear, he whispered, "Can I tell you a secret…?"

Mammon nodded, wondering what the secret could be. She was prepared for a lot of things, but not for Bel to lift the oversized shirt up and point to one of his male breasts. "Bel?"

Feeling tears well up in his eyes, Bel whispered, "I don't think I need to learn about baby formula…"

"Bel…" Mammon understood what the other was trying to tell her. She lowered her gaze; what the hell kind of things did Verde _do_ to him? "…"

Bel pulled his shirt back down and hugged himself tightly. "Don't tell anyone, Mammy; they'll think I'm gross…"

"I won't tell. I promise." Mammon wasn't sure if she had ever skipped out on an offer to be payed, but if she hadn't, tonight was a first; she had never thought she wouldn't demand payment in return, but here she was, making a promise solely because she knew Bel must feel alienated as it was without her making it worse for him.

Bel nodded as he pulled his blankets up to his chin. "I'm really tired, but I don't want to have any more nightmares…"

Falling into an old habit she had been in when Bel was just a little boy, Mammon cast an illusion around him, one of the most peaceful scenarios she could think of. Making sure to create an adult form, a female one at that, she used her illusions to soothe Bel into sleep, staying with him until she was sure his nightmares had ceased.

With that done, Mammon left the room as quietly as she could, hoping that one day, the Bel she knew would come back and make a complete recovery; she didn't want to see him like this any longer.


	6. Chapter 6

Bel sat on his bed as he sorted through the baby clothes Lussuria had just brought home for him. He didn't know what gender his baby was, so he liked how the Sun Guardian had had the sense to buy gender neutral clothes; this way, he could be prepared for anything. He wanted to smile as the reality of him being a parent became more and more clear, but even now, almost two months after having been rescued, he still hadn't been able to smile; it was almost as if he had completely lost the capability of doing so.

The boy folded a light blue shirt and added it to the pile of what he liked best before he looked over to Lussuria. Even now, he was still quiet as he spoke with that hint of fear the other Varia were beginning to think would never disappear still apparent in his voice. "Squalo said the Vongola are coming here…"

"Yes, sweetheart." Turning his attention from the instructions for the baby crib he had just bought, Lussuria offered the boy a smile. "Squ-chan will be going to Japan personally to bring them back. He was thinking that you might feel more comfortable around people closer to your own age."

Bel dropped his head and frowned as he rubbed at his bulging stomach; if they knew the truth… "They won't come near me; they'll think… that I'm disgusting…"

"No, honey, not at all; they want to _help_ you." Wishing he could sit beside Bel and give the younger a hug, Lussuria instead stayed where he was; it wouldn't do to upset the Storm any more than he already was. "They don't think you're disgusting; they understand that you had been… Well… They know the circumstances of the baby, Bel-chan…"

Feeling his face pale as anxiety consumed him, Bel instead tried to focus on his task of sorting through the many items Lussuria had bought; he knew it wouldn't be long now before he gave birth, and as much as he wanted this baby, he was very daunted by the fact that he knew it would have to be cut out of him – but unlike Verde who was just cruel in his efforts, at least the Varia _should_ try and keep the pain as minimal as possible.

"Lussu…?" Bel's frown deepened as he rubbed circles against his stomach. "…Do you know how you're going to get it out…?"

"Not yet, sweetheart; I never thought I would have to learn something like this. But I'll find a way to get it out safely; I promise."

Bel sniffed as he nodded and rubbed at his eyes. He opened his mouth to respond, but he quickly stopped as he felt a horrible cramp in his stomach take him by surprise. Gasping in pain, he wrapped his arms around his stomach as he curled inwards. He groaned loudly at another cramp, this one more painful than the first, and when the blood started dribbling past his lips, he knew it was time; it seemed his baby wanted to come out earlier than even Verde had anticipated.

"Lussu…!" Whining as tears rolled down his cheeks, Bel panted heavily; he knew he was going to have complications with this birth, because despite the unnatural occurrence in his stomach, he still shouldn't have been bleeding like this; the bleeding had been eliminated after the first few pregnancies. "Get it out…!"

Lussuria jumped to his feet at this and rushed over to Bel. Pushing back on the boy's shoulders, he laid the younger down on the bed. "Where are your knives, Bel-chan?"

Bel coughed up blood before he whimpered as he pointed a shaky hand to his bedside drawers. He listened to the man rummaging through them before he heard footsteps rushing to the door and Lussuria calling for help.

"Lussu…!" Bel cried heavily at the pain and the memories that were floating through his mind; he couldn't help but remember all the previous births, the agony he had endured that wasn't entirely physical, and all of a sudden, he begun doubting his fellow Varia members; what if _they_ took his child away from him, too? What if they did nothing to help him, let his child die, or didn't care to numb the pain? What if the past couple of months had all been a lie and they didn't care at all?

"Don't thrash, Bel-chan!"

Bel screamed when hands grabbed his shoulders to hold him down, and his struggling increased; he had to get away to somewhere safe, and if he had to, he would cut his baby out himself; he couldn't let his last hope of having a child be taken away again.

"Bel-chan!"

"No! Please! Please! Don't!" Bel didn't even know what he was begging for; all he knew was that he needed the others to leave him alone, to let him have his baby, even if it meant unbearable amounts of agony.

"Bel-chan, it's going to be okay; we promise!"

Bel screamed again as he felt something prick his arm; why were they trying to give him an aphrodisiac? Hadn't he been through enough?! "Stop it! Stop it! I don't want to!"

"Brat, it's for the pain; Lussuria's getting the baby out now, so stop moving around!"

Bel kicked out wildly in an attempt to protect himself when he felt the tell-tale signs of a sharp blade against his stomach; he had been so badly traumatised, all he could think about was his time back with Verde, dissociating himself from reality. His crying became hysteric when he felt someone grab his legs and hold him down, and he was so distressed when he felt the first incision in his stomach, he turned his head to the side and vomited.

But then, after several more cuts to his stomach and an untellable amount of time later, the fog in Bel's cognitive abilities was broken by a loud, unfamiliar wailing. Feeling all hands let go of him, Bel rolled onto his side and tried to pull his legs to his stomach, only to cry out in pain as his stomach sent a tsunami of agony through his nerves. The boy still wasn't coherent enough to register what was happening, so when hands grabbed his hips and rolled him to his back once more, he started crying again; he had no energy left to fight against whatever was going to be done to him.

"It's okay, Bel-chan; Squ-chan has your baby." Finding it hard to understand what was being said to him, Bel just continued to cry. "I need to stitch your stomach back up, and then you can hold your baby."

It was then Bel understood; the loud wailing and the feeling of some sort of thread being stitched through his stomach… Panting heavily as sweat coated his face and body, Bel tried to push himself upwards, only to fall back down. Whimpering in despair, more tears rolled down his cheeks; why did the world hate him so much…?

"Here, brat." Feeling pillows being stacked up behind him and careful hands helping him rest against them, Bel then opened his arms, silently begging for his child.

When the tiny baby was placed into his hold, Bel peeked through his long bangs down at it. He wanted so badly to smile at the exhausted joy he felt, but even now, he still couldn't; he could only run his fingers through the small lumps of black hair that stuck up from its skull, its eyes closed as its wailing quietened down. Letting tears of uncertain happiness roll down his cheeks, Bel, too, closed his eyes as he held the baby higher and nuzzled his face against its tiny cheek.

"It's a girl, Bel-chan." Looking at Lussuria, Bel hadn't even noticed that the stitching had been completed; he had been too focused on his child to even feel it. "Congratulations."

Bel looked to Squalo next and frowned at the long-haired man as Squalo shifted in uneasiness. "…"

Squalo tried to offer his own smile, and his eyes darted to the side as he asked, "What are you going to name her, brat…?"

"…" The boy leant further back against the pillows and closed his eyes as he whispered, "…C… Chiara…"

"How lovely." Lussuria reached out to take hold of Chiara's little hand, but he stopped when Bel reached out and pushed him away before pulling Chiara closer to his chest. "Oh? I'm not going to hurt her, Bel-chan."

Bel couldn't trust these words, no matter how well he knew Lussuria; he had already lost every other baby he had had and he didn't need to have his trust betrayed and to lose _this_ one, too. Finally… Finally… He was holding his child… "…"

Squalo, who was more understanding than he would let on, shook his head. "Voi, Lussuria. Leave him alone; he just had his kid. He doesn't need to deal with you trying to take his kid's attention."

"Maa~ But I suppose you're right; Bel-chan just wants to be with his baby." Looking back at the new parent, Lussuria's hidden eyes sparkled with joy. "We'll leave you two alone; try and get some rest, Bel-chan; you're going to need it."

Thankful to see the two men leave his room, Bel waited until they were gone before he laid down on his side and held his child close as he drifted off into sleep; giving birth to a baby was much too tiring, and he desperately needed sleep.

 _ **~~XX~~**_

With the rest of the Varia leaving Bel be, they knew they couldn't leave him alone forever; Bel didn't know what he was doing, and he needed help. It was Lussuria, the one who knew the most about babies, who finally coaxed his young comrade into the bath with Chiara. The blond had been nervous, afraid of hurting his child, but finally, he was ready to dress her and put her to bed.

"That's right, Bel; remember to support her head." Supervising the Storm Guardian as Bel was the gentlest he had ever been with anything, Lussuria was glad to see such a young boy taking charge; he had been worried things might be too hard for Bel, and that once the baby was born he would decide he didn't want it anymore - but to his relief, Bel seemed adamant in being a parent, despite his young age and lack of knowledge.

Bel hummed in response as he tenderly tugged the shirt over Chiara's body and straightened it out once her arms were in the sleeves. He then picked her up once more, having gotten her ready for sleep. Resting his cheek on top of her head, Bel frowned at Lussuria. "What do I do now, Lussu…?"

"It's time for a bottle now." Lussuria smiled at the sight before him before he turned around in order to head downstairs to the kitchen. "I'll go and make it for her; get yourself comfortable so you can feed her."

Bel didn't want to admit that he didn't need bottles and instead kept silent and accepted Lussuria's offer; he had only told Mammon his secret, and he wasn't ready for anyone else knowing; he would just have to feed Chiara in his own manner once he had some privacy.

Bel got back onto his bed and laid against his mountain of pillows as he held Chiara close. He grabbed the TV remote from next to him and turned it on before lowering the volume as low as it would go; he didn't need to disturb Chiara when she was trying to sleep.

Bel didn't wait long at all for Lussuria to return, and with help from the man to get into the right position, Bel found himself relaxing ever-so-slowly as he fed his daughter. He couldn't help but stare down at her, wanting more than anything to love her, but he was finding it hard to feel more than just affection; was it because of how she had been conceived…? Because he hadn't been ready to have her…?

"What's on your mind, Bel-chan?" Lussuria took a seat on the other side of the room when he noticed the lost look on the boy's face; he wasn't going to leave Bel alone if the other needed someone to talk to.

"…" Bel ducked his head and said, "I always heard you fall in love with your baby…"

"Ah, but Bel-chan, you just had her, and look at what was done to you; it's natural for you to feel hesitant and distant from her, but don't give up; you just need some time to cope before you can learn to love her."

Bel nodded but he didn't reply; he just held Chiara closer to him.

It was Lussuria who spoke again. "Squalo is bringing the Vongola kids here sooner than planned; he thinks they'll be of help to you since they've already been around babies."

Bel tensed and shook his head as his eyes widened beneath his long bangs. "I don't want them around Chiara…"

"I'm sure they will respect your wishes, Bel-chan." Lussuria glanced at his wristwatch and then stood back up. "I have to go into town, sweetheart; call me if you need anything."

Bel nodded and removed the bottle from Chiara's lips now that she had fallen asleep. He leant across her to put it on the nightstand and then tugged his blankets up over both of them. Pulling her close against him, he only watched a few minutes more of TV before he, too, joined her in sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

When the Vongola arrived in Italy, Bel's anxiety had spiked worse than it had ever been; he had had very little sleep, due to both his trauma and the fact that Chiara kept waking him up whenever he had finally managed to doze off. As stressful as he was finding parenthood, he could never find it in him to get mad at his child; he would simply feed her and rock her back to sleep as he cried, too.

But now, as he sat on his bed with Chiara in his arms, Bel frowned at his lap as he listened to Squalo talking to him.

"Lussuria's picking them up from the airport now." The long-haired man was leaning against Bel's doorframe with his arms folded against his chest. He didn't miss the way the younger was trembling, and though he _did_ want to do something to help the blond feel better, he didn't know what; he had never had reason to show his soft side until now, and Lussuria was the one who knew how to handle these situations – Squalo would probably only make things worse. "When they get here, he'll bring them up to your room."

Bel didn't know how to protest; he was just so tired and stressed, he was sure that he would only cry if he were to try and talk. His bottom lip quivered as he fought back his emotions, but it wasn't until Chiara started crying once more did the dam finally burst; feeling tears of exhaustion and hopelessness roll down his cheeks, he begun rocking his daughter; was she still hungry? He had already fed her not even an hour ago.

"Chiara… Please… D-don't cry…" Bel brought Chiara closer to his chest and dropped his head so that his forehead rested against hers. He sucked in a shaky gasp as he heard Squalo's footsteps approaching him; pushing himself as far away from the man as he could, his quivering became violent as he begged for his superior to stay away. "D-don't…! Please..! N-n-no…! Don't come n-near!"

Squalo didn't know how to react to this; he had only tried to approach Bel in order to get a better look at Chiara; the boy had been too scared to let him near them, and so far Lussuria and Mammon were the only ones who had gotten close enough to see Chiara properly; he couldn't deny that this hurt him, but what was he supposed to do?

The man cleared his throat uncomfortably and looked to the side. "She might be cold, Bel; why is your room freezing?"

Bel self-consciously tugged the tiny blanket he had wrapped Chiara in tighter around her. He swallowed thickly, hoping the man wasn't right; he would never forgive himself if he was being a bad parent. "…"

"Bel? Come on; there's fucking central heating and the rest of the mansion is warm. Why the fuck didn't you tell anyone your room isn't heating up?"

Bel wiped at his eyes. He sobbed loudly, not wanting to admit that he had been too scared of leaving his room to tell someone. "…"

Squalo sighed; had he been too hard on the younger? "…Well… I'll get someone in to look at it. For now, go stay in my room or somethin'… It's too cold for you both."

Bel choked at this suggestion; leave his room…? Never! "N-no…"

"Bel, if you don't get Chiara out of the cold, she'll –"

"Fuck off!" For the first time since his abduction, Bel raised his voice. He tightened his hold on Chiara when the baby started crying at his shout and kicked his legs out at Squalo as the man tried to come closer to him. "Go away! Don't c-come closer! I'll s-stab you!"

"Bel…" Squalo wasn't stupid; for whatever reason, Bel just didn't want him near Chiara. "Bel, do you honestly think I would hurt your kid?"

Bel was taken aback by this question. His tears came harder as he dropped his head, and his eyes were wide as he stared down at his daughter. When he spoke, it was in a horrified whisper. "…He… He _took_ them from me…"

Squalo raised an eyebrow. "Verde?" Finally understanding when he received a nod in response, the Rain Guardian felt sick; the pain Bel had been put through… "Bel… I… I didn't know… I thought… Just Chiara…"

"…"

Squalo closed his eyes; he wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer. "…How many…?"

Bel lifted a hand to rub at his eyes before he shook his head. "…Seventeen…"

Fighting back a wave of nausea, Squalo shook his head; what kind of sick mind could _do_ that to a kid…? "Seventeen… You got pregnant… seventeen times…?"

Bel nodded. "…"

"Jesus fuck…" Squalo wasn't going to ask where those kids were; he _definitely_ didn't want to know that. Instead, he said in a voice uncharacteristically gentle, "Belphegor… I… I know it's not the same, but… Well, I've never told anyone this, but I kind of get it…"

Bel looked warily to Squalo, wanting to scream and rant about how he _didn't_ get it because it wasn't _Squalo_ who had been kidnapped and experimented on and raped and… and had his fucking _kids_ taken from him… Squalo didn't understand, and it made Bel angry to know the other was trying to relate to him.

But still, Bel listened to what his superior had to say.

Squalo rubbed the back of his head before muttering, "Fuck… Well… To get right to the point… I got my one-night stand knocked up. I had never really wanted kids before, but I figured I'd take responsibility. She didn't want it so I said I'd have it. She agreed, and the more I thought about it, the more I started to look forward to having a kid."

Bel found himself leaning closer when Squalo fell silent; what was the man thinking about…? "What happened…?"

A dark look crossed Squalo's face before he growled, "The fucking bitch aborted it…"

Bel felt his heart breaking once more at these words. He wiped at his eyes as he felt his shoulders heave from stress; he would have given anything – _everything_ – he had, done anything he could possibly do if it meant he could have kept his children, but no... "…But… Why would _anyone_ want to abort their baby…? I didn't… I wanted mine… I really did… And they were taken from me… Why would she…?"

"I don't know, brat…" Sighing, Squalo shook his head. "I don't know… But I _won't_ take your kid from you, Bel. I thought you knew me better than that."

Bel couldn't stop his tears from coming harder; all he knew was that, no matter how much he wanted to trust Squalo, he couldn't help but fear his child being taken from him like the others had been. If someone were to ever take Chiara from him, Bel didn't want to know what he would do.

 _ **~~XX~~**_

It hadn't been long after Squalo left did Bel decide he could really use a shower; as much as he didn't want to get out of bed, it had been several days since he had last showered and he could smell himself beginning to stink. It wasn't that the boy had always been this way; before the abduction, he had showered every night and always groomed himself to the highest standard – but these days, he just couldn't seem to find the motivation to look after himself anymore.

Everything had seemed normal – at least, as normal as things had been ever since… _that_ – so when Bel stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his hips, it was only natural for him to panic as soon as he saw the group of people surrounding Chiara's crib.

Bel didn't make much notice of the fact that he was hyperventilating; all he knew was that he had to protect his child. He dropped his towel to the ground before he ran towards his nightstand and grabbed a handful of knives. Shouting something so jumbled, even he didn't know what he was trying to say, he threw knife after knife after knife to get the intruders away from Chiara.

"Bel-chan, it's me, sweetheart."

Bel froze at Lussuria's voice, not knowing what to think; he had trusted the other to keep him and Chiara safe, and yet… here the man was, bringing _peasants_ near his child! Gripping the handle of one of his knives tightly, Bel's jaw went taut; how was he supposed to react to this?

Lussuria gathered the younger males closer so that Bel could see them, hoping it would help calm the boy to know that none of them were a threat. "See, Bel-chan? It's just the Vongola; nothing to be afraid of. They won't hurt Chiara-chan."

Bel only grew angrier at this, not wanting people he was still so unfamiliar with around his child; how could he trust people he hardly knew? The only contact he had had with them was during the Ring Battles, just days before his abduction…

Thinking about this only made Bel more stressed; he couldn't help but wonder how friendly the Varia had become with the Vongola during his absence to have _them_ here right now; had Bel missed out on something big…?

The boy stomped his foot angrily before he threw another knife at the wall opposite him in order to try and vent his frustrations; he knew he wasn't allowed to harm the Vongola, and it was taking everything he had to not slaughter them here and now; as much as he wanted them gone, he certainly didn't want to have any of the higher ups within the Vongola Family sniffing around because he knew they would only make his life harder than it already was if they found him guilty of treason.

"Make them _leave…!_ " Bel shuddered and reached up to rip at his hair; he felt as if he were going to throw up; why did those brats have to _be_ here…?! He could look after _himself!_ "I don't want them around Chiara…!"

To Bel's honest surprise, it wasn't Lussuria who spoke next; it was the Vongola Rain Guardian who the blond remembered to be Yamamoto Takeshi, the sword brat who had managed to beat Squalo for the Rain Ring. Bel couldn't say he resented the taller male, because if he were to tell the truth, there was something about the younger male that kept him from hating the other as much as he did the rest of the Tenth Generation Vongola. Bel didn't know what it was, but he did know that it was rare to find himself rather neutral towards someone, to have someone he didn't entirely want to slaughter, but to feel unaffected if someone were to do the job for him.

Somehow, the taller male was exempt from Bel's murderously-protective side.

"Her name is Chiara, right?" Takeshi's caramel eyes held nothing of the deception and loathing Bel had been searching for; instead, they were sincere, nothing changing in the dark-haired teenager whenever he looked from his friends to Lussuria and finally to Bel; it was almost as if the younger accepted the Varia as much as he did his friends. It was something Bel didn't understand, having never found himself particularly close to anyone outside of the Varia – and even then, he wasn't sure he could exactly call them his 'friends'.

Hesitantly, Bel nodded. His attention was focused so entirely on Takeshi that he completely forgot about the fact that he was naked. He continued to stand by his bed, ready to do whatever it took for him to protect Chiara if he needed to; he wouldn't allow that younger group to hurt his child, no matter what.

Takeshi's smile brightened at this. "That's such a nice name. It's Italian, right?"

Bel nodded again. He couldn't find it in him to speak, but when he watched Takeshi lean down and put his arms into the cot to pick Chiara up, he couldn't help but snap; screaming angrily, he started running at the younger trio with the intention of killing them all, but he was stopped by Lussuria grabbing him and holding him tight against the man's body.

"Bel-chan, calm down." Lussuria was as patient as ever as he restrained his young comrade. He understood how terrifying it must be to watch someone else pick up the boy's child in front of him, but didn't the boy understand that they were allies? If anything, the Vongola should hold less threat than the Varia, and yet, Bel had once allowed for Lussuria to take Chiara out of his room.

Why was the younger reacting so badly to kids closer to his own age?

Takeshi didn't seem daunted by the sudden attack; he instead cradled Chiara in his arms and smiled down at the girl with a strange look in his eyes that had Bel stopping his thrashing on the spot; that look in the younger's eyes… It was far different from the happy expression Bel had seen Takeshi don before, so what was the other thinking?

"She's so beautiful…" While Bel was too socially inept to understand the change of tone in Takeshi's voice, Lussuria recognised it; the Vongola Rain was sad. Reaching out to gently touch the small tufts of black hair on Chiara's head, Takeshi looked up to give Bel a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "You must love her very much."

Bel frowned at this. He wanted so badly to love his daughter, and as much as he was _trying,_ he didn't know _how_ ; he had never loved someone before, and he didn't know if he could start with Chiara – not after how she had been given to him. "…"

Takeshi didn't point out the blond's silence; he knew the older male was already aware of it. Instead, he moved closer to Bel, trying to ignore the way the boy whimpered and tried to back away. He said nothing as he held Chiara out for Bel to take, watching as the blond warily took his daughter. Reaching out again as Bel held Chiara, he wasn't oblivious to the frightened whimper the boy made as Takeshi's fingers ghosted against his bare flesh.

"You should support her head a little more." Helping guide Bel's arms into the proper position, Takeshi smiled once he was satisfied with what he was seeing. "That's good; now you won't hurt her."

Bel didn't understand; how did someone _younger_ than him know more about his own _child_ than _he_ did…? "How… How did you know that…?"

The smile on Takeshi's face instantly vanished, replaced instead by a deep frown and tears welling up in his eyes. He shook his head after a few seconds, saying in a weak voice, "…It doesn't matter…"

Bel had never been very good when it came to socialising; despite being a genius, he found social cues incredibly hard to pick up. He understood that a smile was a good thing and a frown was a bad thing, but it was those more subtle things that left him stumped. However, he knew enough about emotions to know that tears meant Takeshi was very upset.

But upset about _what?_ Bel wasn't sure he wanted to know.

The boy had been so enthralled in trying to understand what was happening that he hadn't noticed the other two Vongola guardians approaching until they were too close for comfort. Pushing himself backwards, he almost instinctively reached out for knives before he forced himself to stay still; he didn't want to drop Chiara. "Stay away!"

Lussuria, who could see that Bel was getting upset again, moved away from the Varia Storm and towards the Vongola instead. In a welcoming tone, he said, "Let's leave Bel-chan alone for now; he isn't used to having so many people around him like this. We'll go find your cow baby and then I will show you all to your rooms."

Bel watched the trio turning around to leave. He didn't know what came over him when he reached out and snatched Takeshi's sleeve to tug the younger back. Looking anywhere but at the younger, he moved away to put distance between them before muttering, "…T-tell me more… About babies, I mean…"

It took Takeshi a few seconds to comprehend that he was being invited to stay, but once he understood, he nodded. "Of course. First of all, you should get dressed."

Bel's mouth dropped open as he realised he was still naked from his shower. He felt extremely uncomfortable all of a sudden and turned around so that his back was to everyone else. He moved to his bed to lay Chiara down in his mess of blankets, and then to the wardrobe so that he could dress himself; he felt embarrassed to be seen like this by the others, but he was just relieved none of them had tried to touch him like when he had been with Verde.

When he turned back around, Bel noticed that Takeshi was the only one left. He cocked his head to the side and wrapped his arms around himself uneasily; now that everyone else was gone, he was starting to regret his decision in asking for the younger's help.

But then again, he had to do this for Chiara.

Takeshi was the first to speak, in a soft tone that was almost hesitant. "All those scars on your stomach… Did Verde give them to you…?"

Bel felt sick as he remembered the giant scars that criss-crossed over his stomach. He dropped his head in shame at the thought of them; it was true his flesh was marred completely by the evidence that he had lost so many children before Chiara, and he hated the scars so much, it made him want to slice up his own stomach to try and hide them behind self-inflicted wounds – maybe they wouldn't hurt as much as Verde's marks did. "…"

Takeshi knew he was stepping into forbidden territory with that question, so changing the subject, he said, "I know you probably don't want to, but it's too cold in here for Chiara. You should bring her out into the warmth so she doesn't get sick."

Bel closed his eyes, knowing that Squalo had been trying to tell him the same thing earlier. He _wanted_ to give his daughter warmth, but was it so bad that he was too frightened to take her out of his room? She was safe in here with him, but outside his door…

That was a different story.

Bel shook his head and sat down on his bed so that he could pull his still-sleeping child into his arms. In a defeated tone, he whispered, "…I'm keeping her warm, Takeshi… See…?"

Takeshi couldn't understand the terror Bel must be living in, so he didn't push for the older male to leave the room. He instead sat at the desk on the other side of the room and tried to stop memories of his own rampaging through his mind.

Forcing a smile onto his face, Takeshi said, "I'm glad. Lussuria said you haven't been getting much sleep, so it's really important for you to get some rest if you're going to be looking after a baby. Try and get some sleep, okay?"

Bel shook his head. "I can't sleep…"

"Why not?"

The boy didn't want to admit that he was suffering a severe case of insomnia, and that whenever he _did_ manage to fall asleep, he didn't stay that way for long as nightmares would plague him until he'd wake up crying. Instead, he said, "Because I need to look after Chiara…"

"What if I take care of her while you sleep?" Takeshi didn't miss the panic that spread across Bel's face, so before the boy could object, he quickly continued on. "I won't take her out of the room and I will only go near her when she needs something. Okay?"

Bel wanted to object, to care for his daughter himself. …But he was just so tired… He desperately wanted sleep, and if there would be someone else there to help him get rest…

"I'll kill you if you do anything to hurt her…" Dropping himself down onto his mattress, Bel curled up beneath his blankets. He wouldn't close his eyes until he made sure Takeshi would stay on the other side of the room and away until Chiara woke, but somehow, when he finally did allow himself to begin drifting off, knowing that there was someone else to share the workload made him feel light enough to fall asleep in seconds, his exhaustion consuming.

Bel woke only a few times, cracking open his eyelid to check where Takeshi was when he heard the younger moving around. He would go straight back to sleep when he found the other simply entertaining himself with Bel's belongings, and when Chiara finally _did_ require assistance, the blond was able to go straight back to sleep after supervising Takeshi for a few minutes and then feeling his daughter being tucked back in beside him.

The older male couldn't help but wrap an arm around the baby and pull her close, and it was that comfort she brought him that allowed him to have the most peaceful sleep he had had since the kidnapping.

Somehow, Bel had a feeling that he could genuinely count on Takeshi to help him with Chiara. That didn't mean he was any less fearful of the younger; he would just be keeping an eagle eye on the Japanese teenager whenever he was around Chiara was all.


	8. Chapter 8

Bel awoke the next morning to the sound of his bedroom lock unclicking before the door opened. He glared sleepily at the intruder, having grown so used to Lussuria inviting himself in to check on him each morning that he almost wasn't fazed anymore – but he wasn't prepared for the second person next to the Sun Guardian, and it would have sent a wave of panic through him had he not recognised that spiky head of black hair and captivating smile that had been the very first thing Bel had ever noticed about the other; that smile that seemed almost as if it could be presented in any situation.

Pushing himself into a sitting position, Bel rubbed at his eyes. He then glanced over to the cot in the corner of the room, feeling relief bubble up inside of him as he noticed Chiara laying undisturbed. "Lussu…?"

In Lussuria's hands, he carried a tray. Bel knew it had become the other's morning ritual to bring him breakfast in bed and hope the younger would eat, but the blond rarely touched it; he had once been the biggest glutton out of them all and would often try and eat his comrades' food when they weren't paying attention, but now he barely ate at all, and the immense amount of weight he had lost was testimony to this and his constant stress.

"Here's some bacon and eggs for you, sweetheart." Lussuria approached the bed in order to sit the tray on the nightstand closest to his young comrade. "There's a glass of juice on there for you, too."

Bel nodded, but he had no intention of eating; he wanted to go back to sleep until Chiara woke up. "…"

Takeshi followed Lussuria in and sat down on the other end of the king-size mattress. He looked at Bel with a happy smile, and though he could see the other was growing uncomfortable with his presence, he never acknowledged it. Instead, he asked in a hopeful voice, "After breakfast, want to come into town with me? Lussuria said the rest of the Varia are all going to be busy today, and Tsuna and Gokudera are trying to keep Lambo under control. I don't know Italian so it'd be really hard for me to go by myself."

Bel looked down at his lap; why was the other asking _him?_ Even before the abduction, Bel hadn't gone into town often; the only times he found himself out of the mansion had been when he was bored and his bloodlust needed to be satisfied.

But still, somehow the idea of someone _wanting_ to spend time with him for such innocent reasons rather than being near him to make sure he was going to be okay made him feel a little more comfortable; Bel had been distant from the other Varia, and though they had always looked after him because of how young he had been upon joining them, none of them had really had the experience or the nurture Bel needed to feel close to them. They had fed him, bought him his necessities and looked after him when he was sick, but they hadn't spent much time with him outside of missions; they had left him to his own devices and only came to check on him every couple of hours – it hadn't been until the Verde incident did they _really_ start acting like proper guardians to him.

Bel knew they cared – that they had _always_ cared – but they hadn't truly been able to show that to him until now.

"Bel?" Takeshi was patient, and he understood when Bel seemed to drift out of reality; the boy probably hadn't been expecting for such a question.

"…" Did he want to go or did he want to stay home? Bel wasn't sure. It was true that he wanted to go outside for a little while, and that he had a few things on his shopping list Squalo had forgotten to bring back for him, but the idea of leaving his room was frightening; he had once had confidence in his ability to look out for himself, but look at what had happened to him. Everything he had… It still hadn't been enough to protect him against a _baby_.

"You don't have to decide right now," Takeshi promised. "You can sit and think on it, and I'll ask you again soon."

"Honey, you should go with him." Lussuria wished he could reach out and hug away Bel's pain, but he knew he couldn't; he would just have to keep hoping that one day, the old Bel would return to them.

"But…" Bel chewed his lip as he gripped his pyjama pants tightly. "…Chiara…"

"Sweetheart, it'd be good for Chiara-chan to get some fresh air. Just make sure to keep her out of the sun and away from people in case they're sick."

"S-sick…?" Bel suddenly felt nauseas at the idea of his daughter catching something; would he be able to care for Chiara if she were ill? What if he caught something as well and he was too sick to look after her? "…"

Lussuria nodded. "And don't let people touch her hands in case she puts them in her mouth."

Bel flinched. He often played with her tiny hands himself; what if he had accidentally passed germs onto her…? "…"

Lussuria knew what was on Bel's mind. He reached out and slowly took the boy's hand into his own in order to rub his thumbs against the back of the younger's hand. "You shouldn't worry so much, Bel-chan; you are doing very well with her, and as long as you are keeping your own hygiene up, I wouldn't expect for her to catch anything from you."

Looking guiltily to the wall, Bel knew he wasn't looking after himself; before he had showered last night, he had probably been covered in all sorts of filth and had still been touching his child. How could he have been so _stupid?!_

Bel should be caring for himself, he _knew_ that, but why should he bother anymore? He was tainted by disgusting filth he felt he could _never_ wash from his body. He had scrubbed and scrubbed until he had bled into the shower drain, but he could still see it, still feel it clinging to him; the very proof that he had been violated in the worst way over and over and over again for months on end. The very thing that had gotten him pregnant…

Bel was sure he could burn his flesh off with acid and still he would never be clean again.

As he begun to tremble, Bel lifted his head to look at the taller males. His voice quivered as a single tear rolled down his cheek, but he had to ask this; he _had_ to. "Do you… Do you think… I'll ever be clean again…? I tried to wash it all away, but… It… It's still… there… I can't… get rid of it… I'm so filthy…"

"No, you're not, darling." Lussuria couldn't stop himself; it broke his heart to hear Bel talking about himself like this. Reaching out, he pulled Bel into his arms and held the younger firmly against his chest. "You're not filthy. The filthy ones are the people who hurt you, Bel-chan. You didn't ask for them to hurt you like this."

Bel shook his head, unable to believe those words; he had tried so hard to stop it from happening to him, but in the end, he had only been able to lay there and let them rape him; he _was_ filthy, he _was_ tainted, and he didn't understand how Lussuria could want to hug him after that – wasn't the man disgusted? Did he not fear catching some horrible disease from touching the boy?

It was Takeshi who reached out and somehow coaxed Bel to his feet. Holding the boy's hand, he said in the gentlest tone he had ever used, "Come on, Bel; I'll make you clean again."

Bel didn't know why he followed; he just knew that all of a sudden, he felt too numb to care anymore. He allowed Takeshi to take him into the bathroom and sit him on the closed toilet lid next to the basin, and he couldn't help but stare as the younger took a rag from the medicine cabinet and wet it beneath the tap.

"What are you doing…?" Bel was quiet. His voice conveyed clearly the exhaustion and the numbness he felt, and Takeshi knew how helpless and defeated the other felt when Bel didn't resist in the least as his shirt was slowly removed from his torso.

"I'm cleaning you." Rubbing the rag against a bar of soap he found sitting on the basin, Takeshi then started rubbing it against the boy's chest as gently as he could; he hoped that he would be able to help Bel feel as if he were finally free of the things that had tainted him if there was someone else there to remove the filth.

"…" Bel didn't look at Takeshi during this. He didn't even look at his reflection in the mirror because he didn't want to see how pitiful and weak he was now. Instead, he stared out of the window across from them and watched the clouds float freely through the sky. He vaguely wondered what it was like to be a cloud, to live freely and unrestrained by life's cruelty. For a brief moment he almost found himself wishing they had had a Cloud Guardian other than Gola Mosca so he could ask what it was like to not feel such pain. He wanted advice on how he could stop hating himself so much and to just. Stop. Remembering. But there was no one he knew he felt comfortable with and could give him an answer. Maybe he was just destined to be in pain, to be alone and suffering without anyone to understand him.

And then, as Bel remembered every little imperfection he had, all of his faults and shortcomings and every _fucking_ person who had ever left him feeling as if he _wasn't good enough,_ he heard Takeshi talking to him.

"Do you feel a little better, Bel?" Gesturing to the boy's chest that looked so skinny and frail, Takeshi was almost afraid he would break it had he put too much pressure on it, the Japanese male waited for an answer. "I've cleaned your chest for you."

Bel shuddered. He ghosted shaking fingers over his flesh, rubbed his nipples to see if he still felt the same level of horror and disgust he had felt when he had been at the hands of his rapists. To his surprise, he felt a little lighter.

As he reached up to rub at his damp eyes, Bel whispered, "My legs… are still dirty…"

Takeshi nodded. He put the rag down on the ground before he moved to grab the hem of Bel's pyjama pants. He waited for confirmation that this was okay before it was received and he ever-so-slowly helped the blond kick them away to the marble floor beneath them. He used the same caring method on the boy's now-stick thin legs that he had used on the other's chest, treating them with the same love as he worked as best he could to remove the invisible grime he feared Bel might die feeling. He looked up to see Bel's face, and he wasn't surprised that, despite the long curtain of blond hair hiding the older male's eyes, the other looked more depressed and uncomfortable than he had ever seen someone before. Putting his attention back to his task, Takeshi did his best to remove the guilt and shame he _knew_ Bel was feeling.

"Is that better?"

Bel looked down when he felt the rag leave his skin. He wriggled his toes before he nodded, and a sudden embarrassed look crossed his face. He looked away, hesitating before he whispered, "…There's… still somewhere else…"

Takeshi understood immediately; he had purposely avoided the red silk boxers Bel had worn beneath his pyjama pants out of worry of upsetting the blond, but at the same time, he should have expected it; that was where all of Bel's self-loathing was coming from.

"Is it okay…?" Takeshi would _never_ try to go near Bel's boxers if the smaller male didn't want him to; he was almost hesitant out of fear of hurting his friend to do so when he was given the okay. Putting large hands against hips that now jutted out, Takeshi wished Bel had never been hurt like this; how could someone… _hurt_ another like this…?! "I promise I'll make you clean again, Bel."

Bel took a frightened breath as he felt his boxers being pulled from his hips. Memories flashed before his eyes and he almost broke down on the spot – but it was the gentle, caring grip on his flaccid shaft that was _nothing_ like the rough hands that only sought to hurt him that brought him back to reality. Tears dripped down his cheeks as he watched the cleaning process, and he lifted his hips when Takeshi wished to clean all of him; Takeshi… Takeshi wasn't trying to hurt him like the others had. Takeshi wanted to _help_ him.

"How's that, Bel?" Hoping he had helped ease the pain, Takeshi waited for a response.

Bel's tears came harder as he realised five minutes of Takeshi's time had helped make him feel cleaner than hours upon hours of scrubbing himself raw had. He didn't know how to express himself; all he could utter was, "M-my lips…"

"Did they dirty them, as well?" Reaching out to cup Bel's cheek when he received a timid nod in response, Takeshi then moved his face closer to the other's. He hesitated, hoping he wasn't about to scare the Storm Guardian more than he already was; he would never forgive himself if he broke Bel more than he had been.

With their hot breaths mingling together, Takeshi's slightly increased from uncertainty while Bel's was heavy with pain and anxiety, the younger male couldn't stand it anymore; the desire – no… the _need_ to make Bel clean again drove him to press his lips firmly against the smaller male's. He felt Bel gasp against his lips, but he had no desire to force his tongue inside; he needed consent and the knowledge that that was what Bel wanted, too. He was happy with this small kiss, and he hoped Bel was finally feeling clean again.

When they broke apart, Takeshi stared at Bel for several seconds as he watched the boy cry. He had expected for this; he had expected for a lot of things – but what he hadn't expected was for Bel to throw himself forward and wrap his arms around Takeshi's neck before burying his face against the younger's shoulder and letting all of his pain and suffering out.

Takeshi was patient. He held Bel in return, allowing the boy to tremble and cry and _scream_ in his arms; he understood what it was like to feel lost and alone and as if no one cared. "It's okay, Bel. You can cry. Shh…"

Bel couldn't remember the last time someone had held him like this and allowed him to show his emotions. For as long as he could remember, he had been told boys didn't cry and that he had to be tough because he was a _prince_ , but Bel didn't care about any of that anymore; all he wanted was to finally let his pain out.

Takeshi stayed. He listened and held Bel close until the blond had fallen asleep in his arms. He understood. He understood _perfectly_.


	9. Chapter 9

**In my author profile, you will find links to my Tumblr blogs. I have one for KHR which is where I will be moving all of the lemons to once I get a chance to re-write them, and you will also find little things like my headcanons and little drabbles that I will not be putting onto my fanfiction account. I also take requests for anything on Tumblr, so feel free to stop by and check it out.**

When Bel woke up a few nights later, it was to Chiara starting to cry. He sighed as he got out of bed and stood up to fetch her from her cot; he was just so tired, and he desperately needed sleep; he didn't feel as if he could function properly anymore due to the lack of rest he had been getting since the abduction.

The boy stumbled through the dark room towards his baby. He tripped over something that hadn't been picked up off the ground, but that didn't deter him from his mission; his child was upset, and he would always put Chiara first.

"Chiara…" Bel's voice was slurred from exhaustion, and when he finally made it to her side, he collapsed against the side of the cot. He allowed himself to drop to the ground; he knew his legs wouldn't keep him upright no matter how hard he tried. "Chiara, I'm trying…"

Bel couldn't believe how exhausted he was; he hadn't had even a minute of sleep in the past four days, and after finally collapsing in his bed a few hours previous, he felt like a zombie. He shuddered as Chiara's cries came louder, and it took everything he had to be able to get back onto his feet and reach into the crib to pull his daughter into his arms.

"You're too hot…" Bel frowned as he sat back on the floor. He held Chiara close to him as he noticed how hot the baby's skin felt, and when he was able to break through the haze in his mind and notice how clammy she felt, too, he knew he needed help; there was no way he could deal with a sick baby in his current state.

Bel tried to get to his feet again so that he could find someone to help him, but he stopped when he felt his legs give out from beneath him. He whimpered as he smashed his elbow into the corner of something as he tried to break his fall; there was no way he could let Chiara get hurt now of all times.

"Chiara…" Bel didn't know what to do; he was scared that if he were to try and walk, he was only going to fall down and injure Chiara, but if he stayed here with her, she was only going to get sicker. What was he supposed to do? "I'm so sorry… I'm a really bad parent, Chiara… You deserve so much better…"

Bel dropped his face against the baby's head as he cried; would it be better if he were give Chiara to someone who could give her all the love and protection she deserved? His daughter didn't deserve such a terrible parent, and he wanted to give her everything he could – if she would be happier with someone she truly believed were her parents…

Then Bel would give her to only the most loving people he could find so that he could kill himself without having to worry about what would happen to Chiara. If he could find the perfect substitutes, then hopefully the baby would grow up to be happy and successful and never know about the failure of a parent who had really given birth to her.

"Oh, fuck…" Bel couldn't help but curl into a ball; he wanted so badly to take Chiara for help, but he felt so emotionally and mentally drained, that he could barely even twitch his toes, let alone stand. "Chiara, I wish I could give you what you deserve… I-I'm such a bad parent… I never deserved you, and I'm so sorry I was selfish and brought you into this…"

The baby only continued to cry, and Bel truly didn't know what to do; he couldn't think coherently, and the only thing that made sense to him was to sit here and sob to himself while everyone else was asleep.

But apparently, there was someone else still awake as a small knock came at Bel's bedroom door before it opened. Bel tried his hardest to stop his tears, but all he could do was whimper and sob as he watched Takeshi step into the bedroom.

"Bel, what happened?" Takeshi moved closer so that he could kneel next to the boy. He was very worried, not knowing what could have happened for the older male to be like this. "Are you hurt?"

Bel hiccupped as he whimpered, "C-chiara… is sick…"

Takeshi didn't hesitate at these words; he knew that a newborn being ill was _very_ bad. "She needs a doctor, Bel. Where can we take her?"

"Hospital…" Bel hesitated to allow Takeshi to take his baby, but he knew he didn't have a choice; what if he were to drop Chiara?

"How do we get there?" Takeshi waited until Bel had gotten unsteadily to his feet; he wasn't going to _ever_ make the boy feel as if he were trying to separate Bel from his baby.

"Drivers… D-downstairs…" Bel followed slowly behind Takeshi. He couldn't believe how exhausted he was; he hadn't ever felt like this before, and he was sure he was going to collapse any second now.

"We'll get a driver to take us to the hospital, okay?" Takeshi felt bad for taking Chiara through the corridors while she was crying so loudly, but he knew he had no choice; hopefully the others would understand that Chiara was sick. "Everything's going to be okay."

As much as Bel wanted to believe those words, he just couldn't; not after all of the losses he had endured because of Verde – how stupid he was to think he was finally going to be able to keep his child…

 _ **~~XX~~**_

When they had arrived at the hospital, the nurses had immediately taken Chiara into their care. Bel, despite having become sick himself from lack of sleep, had refused to leave his child's side. He hadn't cared about the judging looks that had been sent his way from staff and patients alike; all that mattered to him was being with Chiara.

Now, as Chiara lay asleep in her hospital crib, Bel and Takeshi sat by her side. Bel was struggling to keep his eyes open, and in his exhaustion, he couldn't stop himself from leaning heavily against the Japanese male. He dropped his head to the younger's shoulder, and for once, he couldn't bring himself to fear the arm that was wrapped around his waist; he was just too exhausted.

"You should get some sleep, Bel." Takeshi looked down at the boy. Despite the long golden bangs that shielded the older male's eyes from view, he could still see how unnaturally pale the smaller male was, and he knew Bel desperately needed sleep. "I can watch Chiara for you."

Bel nodded. He wasn't stupid; he knew that there was no point for him to stay awake as there was nothing he could do in his state; it would only make him sicker if he didn't try and get some sleep. "Wake me if something happens…"

Takeshi nodded. He reached out and cupped Bel's cheek so that he could tilt the older male's face up and press their lips together. He wasn't sure why he did such a thing, but he could feel deep inside of him that it was the right thing to do when the boy's tense grip on his arm slowly loosened and Bel seemed to relax slightly into the kiss.

When Takeshi broke away for air, he smiled as Bel leant in close against him and hugged his arm tight. He threaded his fingers through golden locks of hair as the boy dropped his head against Takeshi's shoulder again, and he couldn't help but smile as the smaller male fell asleep against him.

Trying his best not to wake Bel back up, Takeshi reached down and took the older male's hand in his own. He squeezed it reassuringly as he placed a kiss in golden locks, and with that, he stayed awake to keep an eye on Chiara.


	10. Chapter 10

Chiara had remained in the hospital for two weeks due to the request of Bel; he had felt uneasy bringing her home to look after her himself because he couldn't trust himself to do a good job and treat her fever properly. He was glad that the nurses had been understanding when he explained that Chiara only had him and he was very nervous of being a parent; if he couldn't even look after _himself_ anymore, how could he look after his ill child?

When Bel had arrived back at the Varia mansion with Chiara, he had avoided everyone else and went back to his bedroom with his daughter wrapped tightly in a blanket. He hadn't wanted to be bothered by anyone; he just wanted to be left alone with his kid; he had been so scared of losing her, and all he wanted was to rest now that she wasn't sick anymore.

After finally making it up to his bedroom, Bel closed his door quietly behind him before he moved to kick away at the mess on his floor. He made enough room to lay Chiara down on it, and once she was laying on her stomach, he picked up everything he could find around her so that she didn't put anything into her mouth; he remembered very well the books Mammon would read to him as she laid in bed with Bel to try and make him feel a little more at ease, and he certainly didn't want Chiara to choke on anything.

Once Bel was satisfied with his cleaning job, he laid down with Chiara as well. He had picked up a baby rattle during his cleaning, and he passed it over to the baby. He watched with careful eyes as Chiara accepted the rattle with small noises and waved it around in the air before he rolled onto his side and slowly inched closer to his daughter so that he could seek her comfort.

"Do you like your rattle?" Bel felt his heart warm as the baby let out a little coo at him; he could almost pretend in this moment that he had never been so viciously raped in order to conceive her because hearing her content coos made him happier than he could ever remember being. He pulled Chiara into his arms and rolled onto his back so that she was laying against his chest, and it was then he started to understand what people meant when they talked about their kids being the most important part of their lives; he could swear he had just fallen in love with Chiara's happy smile, and he knew then and there that there was nothing he wouldn't do if it meant keeping his daughter happy all the time.

Bel was content with laying with his daughter and watching as Chiara waved the rattle around. He gave a tiny laugh as she put it in her mouth and tried to chew against it, but he recoiled slightly when he felt it hitting his face. He flinched, but when he heard his daughter's first laugh, he couldn't help but feel his lips twitch upwards. He knew he wasn't smiling, but it was the closest thing to a smile he had made since his abduction.

"Is that funny, Chiara?" Bel got his answer in the form of the rattle hitting his face again and another laugh. It didn't hurt; there was just no force behind it, and the boy truly didn't mind as long as it was Chiara. He let out his own soft laugh before he said, "You're going to be a little sadist when you're older, aren't you?"

As much fun as Bel was starting to have with his baby, his smile vanished when he heard a knock at his bedroom door. He tilted his head backwards so that he could look to see who was opening the door, and his frown deepened when he saw that it was Squalo accompanying the Japanese group. He winced as he heard a high-pitched squeal, and he growled when he noticed the Vongola Lightning running at him; he hated the annoying little cow baby, and if the younger came any closer, Bel was going to make him regret it.

"Oi, Lambo!" Tsuna tried to run after the baby, but he tripped over his shoelaces before he could get very far. He could only watch as the Bovino came to a stop by Bel's side and reached out to poke Chiara's cheek.

"Oh, what's this?" Lambo put a finger to his mouth as he cocked his head to the side. "It looks like a wrinkly, ugly potato."

Bel snarled at these words, and though he knew Lambo was just a kid, it didn't deter him from punching the baby as hard as he could in the face. He reached into his pocket to withdraw a knife, but he found that he didn't have any on him; he had forgotten about emptying them onto his bedside table when he came home, and now he was regretting that. "Fuck up, you stupid fucking brat! I'll kill you!"

As serious as the boy was with this threat, all murderous intention quickly left him as he threw his hands over his ears when he was suddenly drowned by two babies crying at the top of their lungs, and though he could hear footsteps running towards him and Squalo yelling, he didn't feel regret; he instead just felt more stressed by the second, and he wanted to reach out and snap the Lightning Guardian's neck.

Bel couldn't make out what Lambo yelled, but he could recognise the Ten-Year Bazooka appearing in the younger's hands; he had memorised it long ago during the Ring Battles. He said nothing; he just watched as Lambo went to use it on himself – but then, out of nowhere, Tsuna had tripped once again on his journey to Lambo and knocked the Bazooka from the Vongola Guardian's hands.

The Varia Storm was emotionless as the Bazooka engulfed him; he waited for the pink puffs of smoke to disappear before he looked around to find where he was now. To his surprise, he was in the meeting room at the Varia Mansion, and his fellow Officers were seated around the table with him. They gave him looks he was unfamiliar with, but he wasn't threatened; instead, he felt safer than he had ever felt around them.

"I almost forgot how adorable Bel-chan was when he was a little boy~" Lussuria pressed his palm against his cheek as he smiled lovingly at his young comrade.

"Voi, you feelin' alright, brat?" Squalo, who Bel was sitting next to, reached out to put his gloved hand against the boy's face. "You look terrible."

"He hasn't been taking vitamins."

Bel frowned as he looked at the hooded figure sitting across from him. He had a feeling he knew them, but… "Mammy…?"

The other looked directly to the blond before saying, "What's with that attitude? You've known me for most of your life."

Lussuria got out of his chair and moved so that he could kneel next to Bel and put his hand on the boy's stomach. "Have you been seeing a doctor since you gave birth, Bel-chan?"

Bel shook his head. He was surprised that he had also gotten pregnant in this timeline, and he truly wondered how different this world was compared to his own. "Lussu looks after me…"

"Sweetheart, I'm not a doctor." Lussuria's smile never faltered; instead, it became gentler. "I know it feels that way sometimes, but I'm not. If you don't go and see a doctor, you're going to get very sick, Bel-chan."

"I don't want to see a doctor…" Bel shook his head. "They'll… They'll judge me…"

"Go see Shamal."

Bel looked to Squalo at this. "Shamal?"

The long-haired man nodded. "We had to get Shamal to look after you because you almost died after giving birth. You look like you're on your way out, too, brat. You can't just leave it or else you probably _will_ die."

"Do you take vitamins?" Lussuria gathered the younger's attention again. He frowned when Bel shook his head. "You need to take lots of vitamins, okay? The Bel-chan in this timeline needs them, too; especially since he's going to have another baby soon."

Bel cocked his head to the side. "Another… baby…? With who…?"

Mammon stood up at this question. She moved to the door before she called over her shoulder, "Come with me, Bel. I'll show you."

Bel nodded. His curiosity was peaked; if he had gotten pregnant because of Verde here, too, was he really trusting someone in this timeline enough to willingly have a baby with them…? But _who_ could he trust enough to have consensual sex with? He couldn't think of one person he wasn't afraid of now.

"Mammy, did Verde kidnap me here, too…?" Bel walked slowly beside the woman's side. He stared down at his feet as they started walking up the staircase; did he really want to hear the answer…?

"Yes. It all really traumatised you, but you were able to get better, Bel." Mammon looked at Bel from the corner of her eye. The boy she was standing with was so much like how the Bel of her own timeline had been at that age; quiet and submissive. She didn't know how much their worlds differed, but if the traumatised boy she had cared for was anything like the one next to her, than Bel could get better; he just needed lots of love.

"I was…?" Bel found it hard to believe; he didn't feel as if he would ever recover from the damage done to him. "…What am I like here…?"

"Very quiet. You used to never shut up before Verde did that, but now you don't talk very much. But you've been smiling and laughing again, and you're letting us touch you again. Even the nightmares aren't as bad as they used to be and you're putting weight back on. It took a long time, but you got better, Bel."

"…" The boy didn't know how to respond to that, so instead he asked, "Where's Chiara…?"

"At school." Mammon led Bel onto the bedroom corridor.

"School?" Bel was surprised by these words; he had never considered sending his baby to school before…

"Yes. You wanted her to grow up normally and not live the life you have. You're a very good parent, Bel. I promise."

"Does she like me…?" The Varia Storm felt sick at this question; what if Mammon said no?

"Like you?" Mammon stopped walking so that she could look directly at Bel. She saw the way the younger shuffled his feet in anxiety. "Bel. She _loves_ you. I've never seen you as close to someone as you are Chiara."

The blond wiped at his eyes; could that ever be the same way back in his own timeline…? He said nothing as they started walking again, not until they stopped outside of his bedroom door. He was almost hesitant to enter the room when Mammon did, but who he found inside truly surprised him; there, on his bed, was the grown-up Takeshi reading a sports magazine.

"Takeshi…?" Bel stepped closer to the older male. He didn't understand what he was seeing; was he being told that… that somehow… he had gotten with Takeshi in this timeline…?

Takeshi lowered the magazine before he looked to Bel. He smiled brightly as his eyes crinkled with happiness at the sight of Bel; it had been so long since he had seen the blond so young. "I see the Ten-Year Bazooka got you, Bel."

Bel tensed as the now-older male got off the bed and moved to him. He sucked in a sharp breath as he felt strong arms wrap around him, but somehow it was okay to be embraced as long as it was Takeshi. He looked up to study the man's face, wanting to see what had changed in ten years' time. He frowned when he noticed a scar on the Japanese male's chin.

"Your chin…" Bel raised his hand so that he could ghost the tips of his fingers against his apparently-boyfriend's chin. "What happened to it…?"

When Takeshi spoke, it was in a voice as warm as ever, and his eyes showed nothing but the emotion the blond was familiar with in the younger Takeshi. "Your knives are pretty sharp, Bel."

The boy blinked. "…I… did that…?"

"You had your reasons." Takeshi didn't hesitate to take the younger's hand and pull Bel to the bed. He waved to Mammon as the woman left the bedroom in silence, and once she was gone, he pulled the Varia member down to lay with him. "It's okay; it doesn't bother me at all."

Bel lay stiff in the other's arms. He had never laid with someone like this before, and it made him extremely uncomfortable. "…"

"I'm guessing the Bazooka is malfunctioning again." Takeshi reached out to curl a lock of golden hair around his finger. "It's supposed to only last five minutes, but you'd have been here longer than five if you made it up to the bedroom to see me."

"…" Bel closed his eyes. He felt sick, and he couldn't comprehend what was going on properly. He hated not understanding things; he as a genius naturally figured everything out within seconds – but when it came to people and socialising and _especially_ the subject of relationships, he struggled. "…Are you my boyfriend, Takeshi…?"

The older male hummed as he nodded. "Mhm. Did anyone tell you we're going to have a baby together?"

"Yeah… What about Chiara, though…?"

"It's okay; she's really excited about it, too." Takeshi planted a soft kiss on the boy's cheek. He reached out to put his hand against Bel's stomach, and he rubbed circles into it before he whispered, "When you go back to your own time, if I get you pregnant, it's going to be okay. It will be okay, Bel. You'll get through it, no matter how much it hurts."

"I don't… understand…" Bel bit his lip.

"I hope you _never_ have to understand," Takeshi promised. "Let's not talk about that anymore. Let's just lay here and cuddle until the Bazooka wears off."

Bel trembled at the restraining arms that wrapped around him, but he didn't know how to get out of them; he was so confused, so daunted by what was happening, that he wasn't sure he even had the energy to try and fight his way to freedom. "…"

"I love you, Bel." Takeshi smiled as he nuzzled his nose against Bel's own. Their lips brushed together briefly before the man rested his forehead against the boy's. "I love you so much. No matter what happens, I'm going to be here for you. You can always count on me."

"Please, let me go…" Bel felt tears well up in his eyes; he was frightened, and the way the other was speaking so intimately with him was upsetting; he had never experienced it before and he just wasn't ready. "Please…"

Takeshi didn't hesitate; he loosened his arms and allowed Bel to move to the other side of the bed. He was glad the boy didn't leave altogether; he loved having his boyfriend by his side. He reached out to take a smaller hand in his as he said, "We don't have to have sex here and now, Bel. That's not what I want from you in this moment. I understand, though; even in my timeline, you're still afraid of sex. You can have it with me sometimes, but you just like to cuddle. It's okay with me; I don't want you for sex."

Bel didn't know how to reply to those words; he didn't understand how Takeshi knew what was on his mind; how did the other know that he felt as if he was going to be expected to put out if he allowed the man to keep holding him so intimately…? "…"

"Have you told me yet? About what you went through when you were a child?" Takeshi squeezed Bel's hand at his own whisper. He nodded when the blond shook his head. "You don't trust me enough just yet. You're not ready to open up."

"…" Bel let out a sob as he lifted his free hand to wipe at his eyes; how did Takeshi know him so damn well…?

"There's no rush to trust anyone, Bel. You live at your own pace and never do anything you're not ready to do." With that said, Takeshi offered a bright smile. "You're a genius; I don't know why I'm telling you things you already know."

"No, I…" Bel shivered as he looked away. "…I like you telling me…"

Takeshi chuckled. "You're so sweet."

"Sweet…?" Bel had been called a lot of things in his life, but sweet certainly wasn't one of those; why would Takeshi think that about him?

"Yup. Sweet." The stronger male reached down at this to pull the blanket out from beneath them. He dragged it over them before he said, "Get some sleep; I know that look on your face and it means you haven't been sleeping. Even my Bel still has insomnia, though not as bad as it used to be. _Sleep_ , because I don't want to give you your sleeping pills to make you rest."

Bel couldn't argue; he _was_ tired and needed rest. With a slight nod, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to sleep.

It was then he realised something; his insomnia wasn't _nearly_ as bad whenever he had Takeshi by his side.

 _ **~~XX~~**_

When Bel woke up, he was back in his own time. Takeshi was standing by Chiara's cot as he lowered her down into it, and once he realised that the boy was awake, he came to sit by the older male's side.

"Did you sleep well, Bel?" Takeshi's smile was as bright as ever, and it widened when he received a nod in response. "I'm so glad. Did you see me when you were gone?"

"…" Bel tensed as he nodded; now that he was thinking about it, he wondered what his older self could have done during the swap. "…I…"

Takeshi continued on. "Your older self looked happier than I've ever seen you, and you really loved Chiara. You just wouldn't put her down and stop playing with her. Even Chiara really loved the attention; she wouldn't stop laughing."

"…" Bel looked to his lap. He was happy with this news; it confirmed what the others had said about him and Chiara and instilled a bit of hope that he might one day get better. If he had been able to do so in another time…

"Did anyone tell you?"

Bel looked up and frowned at Takeshi. "Tell me what…?"

"That you and me are dating and going to have a baby together." Takeshi looked so happy at the news, and Bel wondered if the other's eyes had ever shone as bright before. "I thought about it, and I was thinking… Would you be happy if we dated? And maybe had a baby together?"

"…"

Takeshi put his hand on Bel's stomach and rubbed it, just like how the Takeshi in the future had done so. "We don't have to have a baby so soon. I can wait for as long as you need. We can do this relationship at your speed."

"…" Bel looked to his lap for a few seconds. It was true he had grown curious after seeing the adult Takeshi, but… Was he ready for such a big commitment…? Sure, he seemed to be happy in the future, but could that happiness be the same in this world, too…?

There was only one way to find out.

"Bel…" Takeshi hadn't been expecting for the ghost of a kiss on his lips, but he loved it all the same; he knew that it was a yes to his question. He smiled so happily as he reached out to hug the smaller male; maybe now the void in his heart would be filled.

Bel froze in the embrace, but he didn't pull away; he had a feeling that the younger would want to hug him all the time, so he would just have to learn to get used to them.

"I can't wait to tell everyone!" Takeshi laughed to himself as he thought about how excited his friends would be to hear the news; they all knew that part of him had been lonely ever since… Ever since he lost part of his family, but maybe now, he could finally learn to move on for good.


	11. Chapter 11

In the few days since Bel had agreed to date Takeshi, he had found that sleeping next to the younger male helped greatly with his insomnia; while he still struggled to get to sleep, he was waking up less and less throughout the nights, especially once he had been reassured it was okay to go back to sleep whenever Chiara awoke because Takeshi would look after her for him.

It was strange that Bel had found himself so comforted by sharing his bed with someone; even as a little boy, he had never had someone sleep beside him – not his parents, not his brother; not even the other Varia members when he was young and battling the nightmares of his childhood.

But with Takeshi, Bel found that he enjoyed having the other next to him. He didn't want to be cuddled or touched in any way, and he always moved to the edge of the mattress if the Japanese male came closer to him; he wasn't yet comfortable with the idea of intimacy, but knowing that the younger was there beside him helped soothe the restlessness inside.

Takeshi never minded the way Bel would keep distance between them; he understood, and he was happy to keep things at the boy's pace until the blond could tolerate more.

Currently, the two were laying on their own sides of Bel's bed. Takeshi was humming quietly as he watched a movie on the giant TV across from them, and Bel had Chiara in his arms as he rested his eyes. The boy was half asleep, but he jerked back into consciousness when he heard the younger call his name.

"Hey, Bel?"

Bel didn't open his eyes; he just mumbled a reply. "What…?"

Takeshi rolled onto his side so that he could look at the other. "If our relationship works out, would you come to Japan and meet my pop?"

Bel tensed at the question; he had hated his parents for as long as he could remember, and all of a sudden, he felt jealous; parents had always been a touchy subject for him because he was a prince and he deserved only the best – but for some reason, _peasants_ had better parents than _he_ did, and that was _completely_ unacceptable. "…Why just your father…? What about your mother…?"

The happy look on Takeshi's face vanished at this question; it was replaced instead by a look of despair, and Bel didn't have to see it to _feel_ the sudden damper on his boyfriend's mood. "…She died…"

"…"

"I remember looking out of the window and…" Takeshi's voice dropped to a whisper. "…I saw them… The drunk driver… They slammed into the side of our car, where my mother was sitting… Our car split at the chasis; we were hit that hard… I remember my pop, trying to calm my mother's screaming, but when she stopped… And my baby sister… They said she hadn't suffered; she had gone right on impact…"

Bel looked down to Chiara at these words. He tightened his hold on her as he remembered all of the other babies that had been taken from him. He closed his eyes as he remembered the ones who had survived the birthing process. He had no idea what had happened to them, or if they were still _alive,_ but he would give everything he had if it meant he could have his other children back in his arms alongside Chiara. He understood the pain Takeshi had suffered in having lost his little sister; he had lost so many of his children, and all he had ever wanted was to be a good parent who could give his kids all of him.

"When I was with Verde…" Bel looked over his shoulder at the younger out of the corner of his eye, "…I… I had a few babies that survived… He took them away before I could even get a chance to look at them… I don't know what happened to them… I hate myself so much… for not going back for them when I got away… But in my gut, I know… They're gone…"

Takeshi couldn't stop himself from reaching out and putting his hand on Bel's shoulder; it was just in his nature. Bel, however, was in a heightened state of anxiety. Pulling away from the touch, he whimpered and braced himself for the abuse he had been forced to endure for so long.

"It's okay." Takeshi pulled his hand back to himself. His voice was as comforting as ever. "You're safe here. It's okay. You're safe."

Bel swallowed thickly as he tried to calm himself down. It took him a few minutes of fidgeting and licking his lips until he was able to whisper, "D-don't touch me…"

Takeshi nodded. "I'm sorry, Bel. I didn't mean to scare you."

"…"

In an effort to change the subject, Takeshi asked, "What about your parents? What are they like?"

"They're dead..." Bel didn't care enough to see the other's reaction; he just continued on as he felt waves of anger rush through him; it had been so long since he had thought about the people who had helped shape him into the vicious little brat he had been before the abduction, he had almost forgotten just how bent out of shape the _thought_ of them made him. "I killed them and my brother..."

Takeshi cocked his head to the side. While Bel expected him to be frightened of these words, the other instead didn't even seem to judge; he didn't recoil in fear or make a disgusted expression; he instead looked as if he were trying to understand why Bel could do such a thing. "You didn't like your parents?"

"No. I only liked them when they were dead." Bel looked down to Chiara. He hoped so much that he would be a good parent to her and that she would never have to suffer the way he had because of his parents; he knew he would kill himself if he ever made Chiara feel the way his own parents had made him feel on a daily basis.

"Did they hurt you?" Takeshi could feel his joy dying down now; how could he be happy when he had heard that someone else had had a hard time?

Bel nodded. He spoke in an almost stoic manner, but Takeshi saw through it; he knew that whatever the boy was thinking about was hurting him deeply. "They physically and mentally abused me. The day I killed them all, it was when I tried to tell my mother that one of the servants had molested me. She didn't care, and neither did my father. Rasiel had overheard, and he waited until I went back to my room. He followed me and questioned me about it. So I told him… I told him that the servant had rubbed my dick and orgasmed me before they fingered me. …He could see how much it was upsetting me, and… And he copied them… My _brother_ gave me my second orgasm…"

Takeshi could see how heartbroken Bel looked, but he didn't know what to say; he had never been in this situation before. "Bel…"

"I tried to tell my mother again, and she and father said I was disgusting for letting it happen and that it was all my fault… My father… suggested that since I was already tainted, they might as well sell my body since I was no good to them anymore… I didn't understand what that was, but I killed them anyway… I got Rasiel last for what he did to me…"

Takeshi closed his eyes as he responded. It was then he knew what to say, not because he was thinking about his words, but because deep inside, he could feel that they were the right things to say. "You're not disgusting, and it's not your fault, Bel. No way. You didn't want it to happen but someone did it to you anyway, and there's _definitely_ no way that whole thing with Verde was any different; _none_ of that makes you disgusting or your fault in _any_ way because that was just so sick on _their_ behalves for doing it to you, and I only wish that I could have been there to get them away from you. You didn't deserve any of that, and just because your parents didn't listen to you, doesn't mean _we_ don't care. We want to help you and Chiara, because that was something you should _never_ have been put through."

"…" Bel looked down to the baby in his arms. "…I'm scared that I'll… be a bad parent to Chiara…"

Takeshi shook his head. "No way, Bel. You're only young, and there's lots for you to learn, but I can see how much you love her, even if you can't feel it yourself; you're doing your best for your child, and that's all that can be asked of you."

"…"

"You're going to be a _great_ parent, Bel. I _know_ it." With that said, Takeshi leant across the bed in order to place a gentle kiss on Bel's lips. "Now get some rest; Chiara will wake up soon for her next bottle."

Bel nodded. He allowed his eyes to slip closed again, but he wasn't tired now; he just wanted to stop thinking about the conversation he and Takeshi had had because he hated how he couldn't seem to stop thinking about his childhood, or picturing Takeshi's own in his head – he just wanted to _sleep_ , and he _couldn't_.

Thankfully, when he finally _did_ doze off again after an hour, Takeshi was more than happy to take care of Chiara for him as he slept. At least now, Bel understood why the younger was so genuinely happy to look after her.


	12. Chapter 12

When Bel had heard that the Varia were spending a night drinking and being rowdy, he had holed himself up in his bedroom with Chiara, not wanting anything to do with alcohol or whatever else his teammates would do tonight; they always did stupid things when they were drunk, and he refused to let them near Chiara in that state.

Even with his bedroom door and windows all shut and locked, Bel could still hear the other Varia officers, despite being four floors above them. He was getting agitated by their drunken noise; for reasons he didn't entirely understand as he never used to be bothered by this, he was uncomfortable knowing just how near their escapades he was.

No matter how hard Bel tried to ignore it and go to sleep, it soon became impossible when someone knocked at his bedroom door. He frowned as he sat up and pulled the blankets over him; did he really want to let some drunken asshole into his room…?

"Bel, it's me."

Bel let out a sigh of relief when he recognised Takeshi's voice; he would let his boyfriend inside, but no one else. He got out of bed so that he could unlock the door and let the younger in, but as soon as he opened the door and caught a whiff of alcohol, he started regretting his decision; he just didn't want anyone who had been drinking around him. "Takeshi…"

Takeshi smiled as he reached out and wrapped his arms around Bel. He didn't notice the smaller male stiffening in the hold; he instead murmured, "Lussuria gave me lots of alcohol…"

Bel tried to back away from the younger, but Takeshi was holding him too tightly. "…"

"I've never drank before. It makes me feel funny." The Japanese male gave a small laugh as he leant further in against Bel. He didn't hear the whimper the boy made; all he could focus on was how good it felt to be so close to his new boyfriend. "Bel… I feel…"

The Varia Storm wasn't stupid; he could feel the growing bulge against his thigh. He didn't know what to do; he wanted to get away, to take Chiara and hide somewhere they would both be safe – but part of him had grown to feel so helpless, he didn't see the point in resisting; he had tried to resist for so long with Verde, but nothing he had said or done had been enough to stop any of them from raping him; it was truly easiest on him if he just laid back and let it happen.

Bel whimpered again as Takeshi started walking him backwards towards the bed. The boy didn't fight it; maybe if he were lucky, Takeshi would be done in a few minutes and leave him alone.

"Bel, I…" The stronger male, to Bel's sincere surprise, was gentle as he laid the blond down on the mattress. Takeshi made no move to hurt the other as he clambered above Bel; he instead stared down at his boyfriend with a gentle expression. "I really… Really wanna… You know…"

Bel closed his eyes. He sighed as he turned his head to the side; what was the point in saying no? It would still happen anyway – Chaira was living proof of that. Takeshi was stronger, and there was no way the Varia Storm could fight him away without his knives; he knew that it would just be easier for him to lay back and try to pretend he wasn't being raped again.

Takeshi laughed again as he leant forward to nuzzle his nose against the older male's throat. "You smell good, Bel. Can I? Please?"

A single tear rolled down onto the pillow beneath his head as Bel nodded; if he didn't fight it, it would be easier on him. He squeezed his eyes shut when large hands started pulling at his clothing; if he were lucky, he would be able to lose himself inside his head and pretend this wasn't happening to him.

Bel said nothing as he was undressed. He ignored the drunken whispers Takeshi made, and he tried to pretend that there were no hands all over his body, touching him in places he didn't want anyone near. He couldn't keep himself from sobbing silently when fingers were replaced with something much bigger, and when he felt the tell-tale liquid gushing inside of him, he could no longer hold back his agonised cry of despair; he just wanted to die, to never have to remember this kind of pain ever again.

"Bel…" Takeshi's voice was slurred, from both the alcohol in his system and the orgasm he had just experienced. Even so, Bel could hear the sad tone in it. The younger male reached out and pulled his boyfriend close, holding him tight. He whispered soft words, but he knew Bel wasn't listening; he had hurt the fragile boy because he hadn't been thinking clearly. "Bel, m'sorry…"

Bel couldn't reply; all he could do was cry his heart out.

"I thought…you wanted it…" It was true; Takeshi had asked for Bel's consent and been given it, so why was the smaller male upset? He had hurt the boy during? "Are you… in pain…?"

 _Yes…_ Bel couldn't respond verbally; all he could do was scream inside of his head and wish the younger had mind reading powers because then maybe it would be easier for him to convey his needs. _Oh, fucking hell, yes… So much… Just not… the kind of pain you're thinking of… I want to die, Takeshi… Please… Please, help me… I don't want to live like this… D-don't… Don't leave me… Save me… Please…_

Takeshi didn't know what to do; his thinking was clouded and he was afraid of hurting Bel even more; the only thing he was certain of was to lay here with the boy in his arms and protect him for the rest of the night.


	13. Chapter 13

"Bel…?"

Bel flinched at Takeshi's voice. He didn't dare move; maybe if he laid there quietly, the younger would think he was still sleeping. "…"

Takeshi wasn't fooled, but he didn't comment on the blond's actions; he instead pulled the smaller male closer to him. "I'm sorry, Bel… I don't… I don't know why I did that…"

Bel couldn't bring himself to respond; all he wanted was to die. "…"

"Bel…" The younger reached out and tried to wrap his arms around his boyfriend, but Bel wouldn't have it; he elbowed the younger male in the stomach as hard as he could before he rolled himself out of the bed.

Bel sniffed back tears as he hurried to Chiara's crib and pulled his baby into his arms before he whirled around on the spot in an angry manner and shouted in a manner that was supposed to be intimidating, but only came across as greatly distressed. "Leave us alone!"

"Bel, I didn't –"

"- Go away!" Bel tears came hard as he buried his face against his daughter's tiny chest. He sobbed loudly for a few seconds before he scurried away into the bathrooms that he could lock the door behind him in an attempt to keep Takeshi away from him. He cried his heart out as he leant against the door to keep it shut, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't ignore the heartbroken tone in the other male's voice.

"Bel…" Takeshi was knocking weakly at the door, worried for the blond's safety; it had taken so long to get Bel to trust him to this point, and in one night, he had gone along and shattered it all – there was no _way_ the boy was going to take it well… "Bel, please open the door; I'm sorry…"

Bel started to tremble from stress. He let go of the now-crying Chiara so that he could raise his hands to his ears and pull his knees to his chest. He rocked back and forth as panic overwhelmed him, and in that moment, his thinking was as clouded as Takeshi's had been last night. His eyes searched for something – anything! – and when he found it, he stumbled to his feet and pulled it into his hold. In a shaking voice, he yelled, "You're not sorry! I'm going to kill myself! I hate you, Takeshi!"

"Bel, no! Don't do it! Bel!" Takeshi pounded on the door and tried his hardest to open it, but nothing he did was enough. His heart raced as he heard Bel's whimpers of pain, and he could only imagine what the other was doing to himself; Bel had been through so much, he wouldn't be surprised if the boy really _was_ trying to kill himself. "Bel! Open the door! Bel!"

Bel didn't stop crying, not even as he dragged his blade down his arm and through his veins. He could feel some sort of relief wash through him at the action, comforted in knowing that his pain was finally about to end. He knew he was a terrible parent for leaving Chiara behind like this, and he wished there was another way where he could remain there for her, but if he didn't do this, he was only going to hurt more and his daughter would suffer because of him. He was vaguely aware of the pounding at the door ending and Takeshi no longer yelling to him, but he didn't care; there were too many emotions going through him to give a shit about what his boyfriend was doing right now.

The boy slumped against the wall when he became weak. His vision had gone black and the nausea and ringing in his ears were almost unbearable, but at least he was no longer focusing on Chiara's crying; his world had become so quiet all of a sudden, he briefly wondered if he had gone deaf.

"Oh, fuck. Bel!"

Bel didn't even realise that his bathroom door had been broken off its hinges and someone was lifting him up from the puddle of blood he was slouched in; all that mattered to him was that he could feel himself losing consciousness, and he hoped with all of his might that it was finally about to be over.

 _ **~~XX~~**_

"What happened in there?"

"I-I don't…" Takeshi couldn't stop crying as Squalo sat at the table across from him. He couldn't remember ever being so scared before, seeing the way the Varia Rain had carried an almost-lifeless Bel from the bathroom and straight to the infirmary. Lussuria had escorted the Vongola Guardian to the kitchen to get him away from Bel and instead caring for Lussuria before he, too, fled to the infirmary to keep their young comrade alive. It had felt like an eternity before Squalo had come to the kitchen to sit with his Vongola counterpart and tell Takeshi that Bel had been stabilised but was still unconscious.

Takeshi didn't know what to do, no matter how comforting Squalo was trying to be, because he knew that what had happened in that bathroom was because of _him_.

"He should be okay, Takeshi; we got him on a blood drip before he bled out." Squalo sighed. "I just don't get it… He's never tried to kill himself before; I mean… if he were going to try it, wouldn't he have tried it already? Or even been cutting himself beforehand?"

Takeshi's tears came harder. "…I… I-it's my fault… I… When I… I just…"

"How the fuck would him trying to off himself be _your_ fault, brat? What the fuck would _you_ have done to him to make him try that shit?"

"…I… I raped him, Squalo…"

If Squalo were drinking, he would have choked on it after hearing that; Takeshi and rape could _never_ belong in the same sentence! "Bullshit! Like you'd rape anyone!"

"It's true! I just… I don't know what came over me… I was drunk, and I… I swear I thought… I swear I thought he wanted it, too… He… He gave me consent…"

"He gave you consent, Takeshi; that isn't rape! It'd be rape if he told you no, either before or sometime during, but _did_ he ever tell you no, or to stop?"

The Vongola Rain shook his head. "…"

"He didn't withdraw his consent; you didn't _know,_ brat. It wasn't rape; Bel is just…. Not himself… I'll talk to him when he wakes up; for now, just leave him be; he's been through enough."

It wasn't like Takeshi to cry, but it also wasn't like him to hurt those he cared about – and look at what he had done to his fragile boyfriend… He was a terrible person! "He hates me…"

"He's scared and confused; he isn't thinking clearly. Just give him time and take care of Chiara for him. Lussuria and I will sort it out. If I were you, I'id go back to the room we gave you, though; give Bel some time to himself."

Takeshi nodded. He wiped at his eyes before he held Chiara tighter to his chest and got to his feet. He said a soft farewell before he left the kitchen, needing alone time; he needed to come to terms with what happened, because even though he didn't believe Squalo when the man said it wasn't his fault…

He just quite simply couldn't believe the other, no matter how much he wanted to.


	14. Chapter 14

Takeshi knew he had fucked up when Bel was still avoiding him days later, so when he received a small knock on his bedroom door late one night, he was surprised; he couldn't think of anyone but Bel who would be bothering him at two in the morning.

"Come in…" Takeshi sat up against his pillows and watched as his bedroom door swung open slowly, as if whoever had pushed against it was hesitant about doing so. He didn't know whether he was supposed to smile or frown when Bel appeared in his doorway, so he simply asked, "Is everything alright, Bel?"

Bel's head was ducked, and his arms were wrapped around his chest. It was clear he was unnerved about being near his 'assaulter', and so it worried Takeshi greatly as to why the older male was here; had something happened…? "…"

"Bel?" Takeshi frowned. "…Does this have something to do with… the other night?"

"…" Bel nodded. He lowered one of his hands so that he could rub at his stomach, and in the quietest voice Takeshi had ever heard anyone use, he mumbled, "…I'm going to have another baby…"

Takeshi wasn't stupid. "…A baby… _Our_ baby…?"

Bel nodded. His bottom lip jutted out as he fought against tears. "…You… want it… Right…? I want it…"

"Bel… Of _course_ I want it." The Japanese male got out the bed so that he could approach his boyfriend. He tried not to show how much it hurt him to watch Bel flinch and back away at his approach, and instead stopped to keep distance between them. "I just… I'm worried. About you, and… And having another baby… I'm worried it's going to take a lot out of you, and that it might be too much for you. And, well… We're both… Only so young… Chiara's different, but… Can we really have a child together, Bel?"

The blond didn't respond to any of that; he instead said, "I wasn't avoiding you because of what you did to me… Squalo told me… that you really thought it was okay because you were drunk… I was just… I wasn't ready to tell you that… I'm pregnant…"

"Bel, I… I'm just so sorry… Please forgive me…"

"I'm scared…" Bel looked to the side. "I… I hate sex… I don't want to have it again…"

"Bel, please trust me to look after you. I'll never ask you for sex again; I know you don't want it, even if you say otherwise, and we'll never have to do it again. Please, Bel… If you trust me to do right by you this time, come to me. I don't want to hurt you, Bel; I wasn't myself that night, but I promise I'll never drink again. I'm so sorry."

The boy hiccupped. He shivered for a few seconds before he put one foot in front of the other and then eventually made it to Takeshi's side. He flinched when he felt large hands g rab his shoulders, but he didn't pull away, not even when he was hugged. Silent tears rolled down his cheeks as he felt warm lips caress his head, but he didn't have the energy to resist; he was just so exhausted.

"Let's go to sleep, Bel; it's late." Takeshi wasn't surprised when the smaller male resisted at first but eventually allowed himself to be tugged over to the bed; he could only imagine what was going through the other's head at this.

Bel tolerated being pulled into the bed and tucked in tight beneath the blankets. He said nothing as he felt Takeshi join him, and though he hated the arms that wrapped around him and pulled him close, he didn't try to get away; he had nothing left in him right now.

While Takeshi eventually drifted off into sleep, Bel laid awake for the rest of the night, stressed and afraid; he wanted to have this baby with Takeshi, but could he trust the younger to be there for him and their child? What if Takeshi left? …What if… Takeshi tried to take the baby away from Bel completely…?

It was sleepless nights like this where Bel just couldn't put his troubled mind to rest.

 _ **~~XX~~**_

"Bel-chan, I know you're excited, but I really don't think having another baby will be good for you, physically or emotionally…" Lussuria hated to see the crestfallen expression on the Storm Guardian's face, but he had to voice his thoughts; he needed to look after Bel and keep him safe, after all. "Having Chiara was too much for you, and it's going to be much harder caring for two babies at the same time, sweetheart."

Bel dropped the piece of toast he had been nibbling at back onto the plate. He shuddered before he spoke in an agitated voice. "What are you trying to tell me to do, Lussu? I'm already pregnant! I'm not giving up my baby! You're no better than Verde for trying to encourage me to not have it!"

"That's not what I was trying to imply, honey; I just worried about you." Lussuria sighed. He knew he was only going to upset Bel more if he kept the subject up, so he changed it. "What about Takeshi-chan? Have you made up with him yet?"

Bel nodded. He grabbed his cup of hot chocolate and swirled it around before he muttered, "He wants our baby, too… Stupid Lussu…"

"Well, I think that Takeshi-chan is far too young to be making those kinds of decisions; he still has his whole life ahead of him yet, and he's too young to be parenting a child." The Sun Guardian rested his chin in his hand as he surveyed Bel. "I would say the same about you – being much too young to be having children – but I suppose there really isn't much we can do about your situation, is there, Bel-chan?"

If Bel had fur, he would have bristled at these words. "I didn't _ask_ to get pregnant! Fuck you!" With that said, he pushed his plate onto the ground and kicked his chair away so that he could storm back up to his bedroom.

Bel was frustrated, but he could never take it out on his daughter; as soon as he had closed his bedroom door behind him, he moved to the playpen he had left Chiara in that morning and picked her up, smiling slightly as he heard her soft coos.

"Are you hungry?" Bel held the baby to his chest as he carried her over to his bed. He sat back against his mountain of pillows and made himself comfortable before he lifted his shirt up high enough to reveal one of his nipples. He sighed quietly in uneasiness as he felt Chiara's lips wrap around it, but he settled down after a bit of nervous shifting; his daughter needed to eat, and he only wanted to give her the best of what he could, even if it made him uncomfortable.

Bel closed his eyes, wanting to rest a little bit. He waited patiently for Chiara to have her fill, but before she finished suckling, Bel's bedroom door opened and Takeshi's voice filled the air. "Hey, Bel, do you want to go into town today? We can have lunch and look at some shops."

Bel was frozen with panic, well aware that Takeshi was looking directly at them and there was no way he wasn't going to miss the fact that he was breastfeeding. It was silent for several seconds before the blond finally regained control of his muscles and pulled his blanket up to hide his daughter. He looked anywhere but at his boyfriend, silently waiting for the barrage of disgusted comments and cruel insults for such an unnatural act, but to his honest surprise, they never came.

"What are you trying to hide for?" Takeshi stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. "You're only feeding Chiara; nothing wrong with that."

Bel licked his lips before he whispered, "…I-I'm not a girl… It's unnatural…"

Takeshi shrugged. "Maybe, but breastfeeding is natural. I mean, guys aren't supposed to do it, but you're special, Bel. I don't mind if you feed Chiara like that; I've never not been okay when a mother does it, and I won't start with you. If you feel more comfortable in here alone when you're feeding her, I'll go away, but you never have to hide it from me. Okay?"

Bel said nothing. He remained staring at the floor for several minutes before he heard the sound of his boyfriend's footsteps heading back towards the door. He lifted his head and whimpered, "W-wait…!"

Takeshi turned back around. "…?"

"…You… can stay… Just… Just don't stare at me while I'm feeding her… I'm uncomfortable enough by myself…"

Takeshi nodded. He crossed the room to take a seat at the desk and occupy hAimself with looking through some of the old magazines Bel had laying around. He didn't turn back to his boyfriend until he heard the other call his name, and when he looked, he found the smaller male had lowered his shirt again and was taking Chiara back to her playpen.

"What's up, Bel?" Takeshi smiled. "You wanna come into town? Squalo said he'll organise the driver for us."

"…" Bel cocked his head to the side. "…I… want to go buy more toys for Chiara… And clothes… She's getting big…"

"Do you need anything else for her? We can also shop for our baby, too. Do you know if it'll be a girl or a boy?"

Bel put his hand on his stomach, honestly excited about having another baby; he had finally conceived in an environment he was safe in and with someone he trusted, and as much as he loved Chiara, he could already feel an attachment to this child, knowing it hadn't been born of such abuse. "I don't know. I want a boy this time, so that Chiara can have a brother to look out for her. I don't… want her to live the life I have… She's my princess; she doesn't need to get involved in my manner of living… I want to protect her from that, and give her the life I never had…"

Takeshi smiled. "I'm glad you love her, Bel; you're such a good parent to her."

Bel frowned. "…I don't want her to have only one parent, though… I mean… I had my parents, but… I _didn't_ have them… They were there, but… I hated them… I want her to have what I didn't, and so I want her to have both parents…. Will you… Takeshi, will… You be her other parent…?"

Takeshi was overjoyed by the question, and he was only too eager to agree; how he had longed to have a family again… He stood up and moved to Bel, and though he knew the older male was still very afraid of him and intimacy, he placed a gentle kiss on his boyfriend's forehead before he pulled back and smiled brightly. "I'd love to, Bel. ANow go lay down in bed and get some more rest; you're pregnant. I'll go and see if there's any folic acid supplements left over from the last one, and if there are, I'll bring you some. Are you getting morning sickness? I can ask Lussu if there's anything you can have to settle it down. When I get back, I'll give you a massage if you want one."

Bel could see how excited Takeshi was, and for once, he couldn't be bothered protesting - but hey! What was the harm? He _was_ a prince, and he _did_ deserve to have peasants tending to his every need; maybe a back massage would feel good for him? "Okay…"

The boy was prepared for a lot of things, but not for Takeshi to lean in close enough to steal a kiss from his lips, and to his honest surprise, he found that he didn't mind the contact. He sighed softly as the younger pulled away, unable to deny that he was a little disappointed; he wouldn't have minded a bit more…

"I'll be back, Bel; you get some rest." With that said, Takeshi left the room with a hop in his step; he was just so glad Bel had been able to move past what had happened between them, because even now he still couldn't forgive himself for what he had done – but he had to remind himself, it had all been one big miscommunication and it wouldn't happen again.


	15. Chapter 15

Takeshi was excited to know that he was going to have a baby with Bel, and even the blond seemed a little happier with the news, too. That didn't mean the pregnancy was going smoothly, though; just a few weeks into it, Bel still had morning sickness and he was in more pain with this baby than he had experienced with Chiara. The cramps were near excruciating for him, but despite all of the other Varia members warning him that such crippling cramps meant bad news, he refused to listen to them and insisted that everything was fine and he would bear through it as long as he got to have his baby – under no circumstances was he going to allow them to abort it on him.

Despite all the worry Takeshi held for his boyfriend's wellbeing, he never said anything he felt might upset Bel; he instead showed nothing but support and did his best to bring as much comfort as he possibly could to the older male.

Like now, as he fluffed up the other's pillows so that Bel could remain propped up in his bed.

"Is there anything you need, Bel? Do you want a drink, or something to nibble on?" Takeshi smiled as he helped the smaller male get back onto the mattress.

Bel groaned as he fought back nausea; the thought of eating almost made him throw up. He shook his head. "…My tummy really hurts again…"

"Sit down and I'll massage it for you." Takeshi had no idea how to express how happy he was to know that Bel finally trusted him enough to allow touch between them. It had taken a while, and it hadn't been easy, but somewhere down the line, the boy had mostly stopped recoiling from his boyfriend, and even though there were still times he couldn't bear to be touched, he was no longer cringing whenever the younger came near him.

Bel made himself comfortable before he slid his striped shirt up over his small bump. He watched Takeshi closely as the younger's long digits rubbed circles into his stomach, and he couldn't help but feel himself relaxing beneath the touch. He dropped his head back onto the top of his pillows and closed his eyes. "That feels good…"

Takeshi smiled. "I'm glad. Do you want me to get you your heat pack?"

"No… I can handle it… Just keep rubbing…"

Takeshi's smile grew. He sidled closer until they were sitting side-by-side with their shoulders rubbing against each other, and when the blond curled in against him, he felt butterflies in his stomach; Bel had never been affectionate with him before, and he hoped this moment would never end.

"Ne, Takeshi…?" A yawn escaped Bel's lips. "When we have our baby… Are you gonna stay in Italy with us…?"

The Japanese male froze; he had never thought about this, and all of a sudden he realised how complicated this whole thing was going to be; he couldn't leave Bel or the two babies, but he also couldn't stay in Italy forever… Maybe Squalo would let Bel come to Japan and live there? "…I never thought about this, Bel… I… don't know what to do…"

Bel sighed, but he didn't respond; he couldn't get stressed because it wouldn't be any good for the baby he was carrying.

"What are you thinking about?" Takeshi kissed the boy's head as he wrapped an arm around thin shoulders.

The smaller male hummed. "…"

It was silent, peaceful for them both as they bathed in the comforting warmth surrounding them. Bel was the first one to break the silence an undeterminable amount of time later with an uncomfortable shift and disgruntled groan.

"What's wrong?" Takeshi tightened his hold on the other. "Are you feeling okay?"

Bel mumbled something unintelligible as he hid his face against his boyfriend's arm. He let out a heavy sigh; how was he supposed to explain that his pregnancy was putting his hormones out of whack?

"Do you not feel well?" The dark-haired male put the back of his hand against Bel's forehead. "You do feel a little warm… I can find you some medicine if you want."

"It's not that…" Bel swallowed thickly. "I… I don't… feel right… I mean… I… I'm…"

Takeshi understood, and he remained as gentle as he could be. "But do you _want_ it, Bel? Because if it's just your body reacting, we can wait for it to go down, but… If you actually _do_ want it… We can do something…"

Bel frowned. He stared down at his lap. Sure, it was just his hormones messing around due to his pregnancy, but… Maybe he could blame it on said pregnancy, but part of him _did_ want to… to do things with Takeshi… It was the first time in his life he had felt urges like these, and he almost didn't know what to do with himself; did he go through with it, or did he ignore his body's needs?

As if Takeshi knew what the older male was thinking, he hugged his boyfriend carefully, ever mindful of the boy's swollen stomach. "We don't have to do anything you're not ready for, Bel."

"…" Bel closed his eyes before he said, "I want… Takeshi to… to… to make love to me… I don't… I want… to make love… N-not f-fuck…"

Takeshi moved in close to steal a kiss from Bel. He whispered against pale lips, "I'll make love to you as long as you're ready for it, Bel."

Bel nodded. He moved to lay down on the mattress, but he stopped and clutched his stomach tight when another onslaught of cramps took him by surprise. He moaned softly as he bit his lip; if the cramps were coming and going, would he be okay to make love with Takeshi? Or would it only hurt his stomach more? He felt tears of frustration well up in his eyes as he pushed against his boyfriend's chest to get him to wait.

"T-takeshi, it's… It's going to… to hurt my belly…" Bel shook his head. "I-I… Can we wait… for the cramps to pass…?"

Takeshi smiled as he brushed golden bangs away from the purple eyes he loved so much. "Of course, Bel. Let me know when they're gone."

The blond snuggled in close to Takeshi's side. He kept his eyes closed as he waited for his pain to pass, but he swore it was only getting worse with the more time that passed by. He had to be strong, though; he had to bear through it because his baby would be worth all of the pain in the world, after all.

As long as he had Takeshi there to help him, Bel was certainly going to try.

 _ **~~XX~~**_

Night had long-since fallen and Takeshi held Bel close in his arms. The blond was fast asleep, a thin sheen of sweat on his naked body as he tried to recover from the love he had made earlier with his boyfriend.

Takeshi couldn't sleep. It wasn't that he didn't want to sleep; rather that he couldn't. He was worried about Bel, and the more time that passed, the more his concerns grew. He didn't know if his boyfriend could go through with this pregnancy or not, but he didn't want to voice his worries to Bel; the blond was so excited to be having another child, and the last thing he wanted to do was upset his lover.

The Japanese male sighed and leant down to kiss Bel's head. The older male stirred and mumbled something, but he didn't wake. He went back to staring out of the wall-window and into the black sky above. He could make out the swaying of the trees in the wind, and with the light of the moon that shone down onto the earth, he could see the forest in the distance was dancing with the gale; there was a storm coming, he was sure of it.

But before he could think too much on the weather, the door opened and Squalo poked his head in. The man diverted his gaze when he took in the sight of the two naked teens before him, and he cleared his throat in discomfort; he hadn't expected for the boy he had raised to be having relations so soon.

"Brat. I'm gonna need your help with something." Squalo made it a point to stare at Chiara's crib so he didn't have to feel like a pedo and stare at the younger two where Takeshi was trying to get the blanket out from beneath them without disturbing Bel.

"What's up, Squalo?" The Vongola Rain was relieved when he finally tugged the blanket out from under their bodies without jostling his lover too much; he would hate to wake the other after what they had shared together. He pulled it over their bodies and made sure to hide as much flesh as he could; Squalo was uncomfortable, and he could understand that.

"I got a mission coming up, and I want to bring you with me and get some training into you." The man felt much more comfortable looking at the younger two now that they were beneath the blanket. "You comin'?"

"What about Bel?"

"The others can look after him." Squalo glanced at his wristwatch before he finally realised how late it was; time really was flying lately. "Fuck, it's three in the morning. Why are you still awake?"

"Just can't sleep. I'll think about it, Squalo."

Squalo nodded. "Try and get some sleep, brat; it's late." With that said, he backed out of the room and closed the door behind him.

Takeshi settled down into the darkness once more. He smiled as he felt his lover's warm breath on his bare skin; he was just so happy he could finally hold the older male as he slept.


	16. Chapter 16

Though Takeshi had agreed to go with Squalo on his mission, he couldn't say he wasn't completely happy about it; Bel's pain was only getting worse for him, and if the blond hadn't insisted that he was fine and he could handle it and for Takeshi to go with Squalo, he would have stayed back at the mansion; the older male didn't have him convinced, and he knew that Bel was anything _but_ fine – but the blond was proud, and it wasn't like he would be alone as he still had Lussuria and Mammon to look after him in Takeshi's wake.

"Are you sure you're okay if I go with Squalo, Bel?" Takeshi sat on the bed beside his boyfriend. He was threading his fingers through golden locks as the smaller male fed Chiara in silence.

The blond held a look of absolute exhaustion on his face as he nodded. His expression scrunched up into a pained grimace before he forced it back into one of neutrality; he wasn't crippled, and he could still look after himself. "Just… go… I… I am fine…"

Takeshi nodded. He patted the other's cheek before he claimed the other's lips in a kiss and whispered, "I love you, Bel."

Bel didn't respond; he was far from well today, and he was in too much pain to reply back. He watched as Takeshi left, and once the bedroom door was closed behind the Vongola Rain, he allowed his tears to flow down his cheeks; he usually had a very high pain tolerance, but this… This was pain on a whole new level, and it was unbearable for him.

"C-chiara…" Bel let out a whimper as he swore his stomach was being ripped open by a pack of wolves. "C-chiara, I… I-it hurts… It really hurts…"

Bel didn't know how long he had sat there, sobbing to himself in his pain, but his bedroom door soon opened again and Lussuria stepped in to check on him. The man frowned deeply as he noticed how distressed the boy was, and it was then he decided enough was enough; Bel may have refused every time they brought up taking him to a doctor, but he had been in pain for too long and now Lussuria was taking things into his own hands – whether the blond liked it or not, he was going to find Shamal and bring him back to help their young Storm Guardian.

"Lay down, Bel-chan." Lussuria moved to the bed to make sure Bel was comfortable before he left to find the doctor; he couldn't bear to leave the youngest alone in so much pain. "I'm going to get Shamal; no matter what you say, a pregnancy shouldn't be reducing you to this. Something's really wrong in your tummy, and whether or not you want to acknowledge it, this isn't going to turn out well – for you _or_ the baby."

"L-l… L-lussu…" Bel sobbed loudly as a particular cramp had him arching his back in agony. He choked on a cry as he shook his head. He was almost vomiting from the pain, and he couldn't speak; he was sure that if he were to open his mouth, he would lose to the overwhelming nausea.

Lussuria stroked dirty blond hair as he tried to soothe the boy. "I'm going to find Shamal now, Bel-chan. Mammon is here somewhere, so if you need her, she'll look after you."

Bel couldn't say anything as the other exited the room; he was too busy crying harder than before; the pain was steadily growing worse as the minutes passed by until it grew just too much for him to bear and all he wanted was to die; he hadn't realised pain like this existed, and he knew he had tried to brave it for too long – but now, he just couldn't do it anymore. He gently lay Chiara down on the bed next to him before he rolled onto his side and started reaching out to his nightstand for one of his blades, but whether or not it was him exerting himself when he shouldn't have been, he felt something inside of him _snap_ , and a wave of agony rushed through him and set his entire being on fire as he _screamed_.

"Help!" Bel had never cried as much as he was right now; he could only lay on his back, holding his stomach as he hoped death would claim him any second now. "Help me! Lussu! Lussu!"

But, for the first time since he had been rescued from Verde, Bel was all alone when he needed someone the most.

 _ **~~XX~~**_

Bel had no idea how long had passed before his bedroom door opened again; all he knew was that he was in so much pain, all he could do was lay on his bed and wait to die – he was certain death would be coming for him any minute now as never before had he felt so weak, he couldn't even move. He whimpered as he felt Chiara rolling around against him as she cried loudly; she must be starving, but there was nothing Bel could do for her except pray someone came back soon to take care of her.

"He isn't – Bel-chan?! Oh, my god! Bel-chan!"

Bel groaned quietly when he felt hands grabbing at him and pulling him from the bed. His black-spotted sight tried to look around when he heard a voice he had only heard a handful of times before, but it was useless; his vision was almost completely black by now, and all he could make out was a little bit of Lussuria's uniform.

"Don't move him, fool! One wrong move and you'll be burying him!"

Bel closed his eyes when a second pair of hands touched his stomach. He let out a pained moan, but he couldn't manage anything else; for the extreme amount of pain he was in, he no longer had the energy required to be vocal about it. "C-chia…ra…"

"Take the baby; I can't concentrate like this."

The blond closed his eyes as he felt his baby's weight disappearing from his side. He was relieved someone had found them before he had died; he needed to die knowing that Chiara was going to be taken care of. He tried to speak again, but all he could manage was to cough and choke on the blood that had been coming and going.

"This baby needs to come out _now_ ; he's in premature labour and it's already tried to come out, but there's no pathway for it. It's moved around way too much and if it stays in his stomach for a minute longer, it's going to kill him. His organs and bones have been pushed around; that's what is pushing his stomach up in places. He's going to need surgery; if they are left that way, all he needs to do is move the wrong way and he's going to burst something."

Bel moaned again as his stomach was pushed up to his chest and his pants were unzipped and lowered to his thighs. He coughed up more blood before he fell limp again, unable to do anything except lay there with his eyes closed and hope he wasn't going to have to suffer for much longer.

"Get me a knife from the bedside table. Bring up as much anaesthesia, IVs, blood packs and water drips as you can get up here. I'm going to need to operate on him here and now; it's too risky to try and move him to the infirmary."

The Varia Storm groaned loudly when he felt the first incision in his stomach. He couldn't do it, though; not for any longer; his breathing became shallow and he felt his heart slow down as blackness overwhelmed him. There were faint snippets of memory after that; someone performing CPR on him before he blacked out again, coming to once more in the middle of his operation before passing out once more.

 _ **~~XX~~**_

"…he's not…"

"…can't be right…"

"…coming back tonight…"

"Mammon should have…"

"…didn't make it…"

Bel's eyes opened slowly to conversation next to him. He moved slightly, trying to clear the haze from his mind; nothing made sense to him, and he didn't even know where he was; all he remembered was… was…

The boy reached down to his stomach before he let out a sniff of despair; his bulging stomach was flat once again, and he could feel the stitches in it that hadn't been there before he had passed out. He choked on a sob; where was his baby…?

"Bel-chan…"

Bel opened his eyes and found Lussuria was leaning on the bed next to him. He allowed his hand to be taken in the man's, and all he could do was whimper, "M-my baby… Where's my baby…?"

Lussuria swallowed thickly at this question. He tucked dirty golden hair behind Bel's ear before he cleared his throat. He hesitated before he said carefully, "Remember how we kept telling you it wasn't healthy to be cramping the way you were…?"

"…"

"Bel-chan… We weren't telling you that to be mean… I'm sorry, Bel-chan… Your baby… It… It had been dead for some time…"

"No…" Bel closed his eyes tightly as he curled into a ball once more. He fought against the tears that quickly won out, and all he could do was start to cry in despair. "No, no! No! My baby…! No!"

Lussuria hated seeing Bel like this, but he didn't know what to say; the boy was in pain, and he couldn't understand what the other was going through right now. He stroked the younger's head gently as he stayed with the other, looking back and forth between Shamal and Belphegor. He was upset himself; he had relief on Mammon to be there for Bel while he went to fetch Shamal, but instead the Arcobaleno had disappeared somewhere and still hadn't been found. Maybe if she had been there… If she had been there when Bel had first gone into labour, perhaps this would have turned out differently – but alas; the Storm Guardian had lost the child he had been so excited to have, and had almost died himself, too.

Why did this have to happen to Bel? He had been such a sweet – albeit twisted – little boy, who was just so curious and playful and _happy_. But now, he was just so scared and hurt, he would barely even leave his bedroom. Knowing that Squalo and Mammon had slaughtered most everyone involved in Bel's torture wasn't satisfying enough for him; he was angered to know that Verde was still out there somewhere, his deeds unpunished because he was smart enough to escape as soon as he realised there were Varia members skulking around his hideout. He wanted the Arcobaleno to suffer the way Bel had, and for the blond to receive some sort of justice for the horror he had been put through.

But he doubted that was going to happen, and Bel was going to have to live with the trauma for the rest of his life.


	17. Chapter 17

Bel felt empty as he watched Chiara bounce around in her swing. He had barely moved from his bed ever since he had lost his baby, and even now, days later, he was waiting for Takeshi to come home. He wasn't sure he had ever felt as numb as he did now, and with the more minutes that ticked by, the more he wanted to die; what was the point in trying to stay alive when he was only going to keep suffering like this? Even Shamal had told him how he would have been dead had Lussuria not walked into the bedroom when they had – how, even now, after performing surgery and trying to fix the damage that had been inflicted, Bel was going to live an extremely poor quality of life since there was only so much he could do when the insides of his stomach were so twisted, it would only cause more damage to try and repair it all. Hell, even the doctor hadn't been able to remove the womb Verde had managed to put in there – he had been too scared to, concerned greatly of rupturing something when he realised it was safer leaving it in than trying to take it out.

The boy stared blankly ahead as part of him wished he _had_ died; if he had, he wouldn't have to suffer anymore; he could finally be at peace because he knew full-well he was never going find that if he were still alive. It wasn't that Bel _wanted_ to kill himself – okay, maybe he did, but maybe it wasn't that he wanted to _die;_ more that he just couldn't bear to feel anymore.

So when the blond got off his bed and walked over to his desk so he could write a suicide note, all he could do was cry. He wrote and he wrote and he _wrote_ until he had several pages' worth of his letter, making sure everyone would understand how he wanted Chiara to go with Takeshi and be raised by the Japanese male and for him to pretend that, once she grew up, he was her father and her 'mother' was a no-good slut who had left before she was born. He didn't want her to know of her true parentage; all he wanted was for her to be given the best life she possibly could – a _good_ life that _he_ would never be able to provide for her. He talked about how numb, how _empty_ he was inside and how he didn't want to keep going when there was nothing except pain for him in his future. He was depressed, everyone could see that, and he was certain he wasn't going to bounce back from it so it was easier for him to put himself out of his misery now when Chiara was too young to remember he existed rather than wait until she was older and cause her pain as well by taking his own life when she would understand he was never coming back.

When at least he had written everything he felt he needed to, Bel moved to Chiara's side so he could kneel by the swing and reach out to embrace her tighter than ever. He felt sick as he listened to his daughter's happy coos, and he knew he was leaving a damp patch in her hair from where he had dropped his face on top of her head and was crying into it, but he couldn't go without saying goodbye; he loved his daughter, and he would _never_ rest in peace if he went didn't take this moment.

"C… Chiara, I…" Bel's sobs came harder as he found it almost impossible to pull away from her. He leant forward so he could kiss the baby's cheek one last time. "Chiara… D-daddy loves you, Chiara… But daddy… has to go… I don't want you to see… You don't need to see the kind of things daddy has… So please don't watch me… I don't want you tainted like I have been…"

Bel took one last look at his daughter before he stood back up and moved to his bedside table so he could grab one of his blades from the counter. He couldn't bear to do it in the same room as Chiara – how could he be the one to taint her innocence when all he wanted was for her to grow up and never have to know the things _he_ had? – so he slid his knife into his pocket and headed into the bathroom. He closed the door behind him so Chiara wouldn't have to know her parent was about to kill himself, and with that, he dropped down to his knees as he burst into tears; he was finally going to do it, to get away from everything that was hurting him and give his daughter a better chance in life. He felt almost relief when he put the tip of his blade to his wrist and dragged it down his vein, spilling his blood onto the cold tiles beneath him. He choked on his tears as he next raised the knife to his throat, but in his distress, he had missed the sound of his bedroom door opening and footsteps coming to the bathroom. He was hysterical when the bathroom door was opened and hit him in the back; why did someone have to find him when he was so close…?

"Bel!"

Bel sobbed as he was pulled into Takeshi's arms, and in his own pain, he missed the agony written all over the younger's face. He felt a second pair of hands grabbing his arm and wrapping fabric around the wound, and it was then he realised that Squalo was there, too. He couldn't speak; all he could do was cry harder.

"Brat…" Squalo chewed at his lip before he spoke in a quivering voice. "Brat, I… What you went through… isn't worth killing yourself over… I know… how much you're hurting, but I… Belphegor, fucking… Chiara needs you. You can't leave her all alone."

Bel choked on another couple of sobs before he finally sputtered, "I-it's in my suicide note, Squa…! How I w-want Takeshi t-to be her p-p-parent for me… I don't w-w-want to live…! I want… to… to…"

"To what, Bel…?" Takeshi had never spoken so quietly before. He held Bel tight in one arm as he used his hand to thread to golden locks. His free hand he clenched into a tight fist as if to keep in control of himself. "To die and throw everything away? Bel, take it from me as someone who used to be suicidal, too – who tried to commit suicide, as well. It might hurt now, but somewhere in the future, you're going to wake up one day and you're not even going to remember what was hurting you so much. I know… that it's always going to hurt, and it never goes away completely, but… Killing yourself isn't the answer. Remember when the Bazooka hit you, and everyone said how happy you had been able to become? There's no reason you can't be happy here, too! So please, Bel… Please… That was… That was my child, too… I know how much it hurts… But please don't kill yourself; we can try again for another baby together when you're ready…"

"Ta… Ta…ke…shi…" No matter how hard he tried, Bel couldn't stop crying; not even when Squalo moved to the medicine cabinet and grabbed the first aid kit so he could start to stitch the boy's wrist up. Takeshi didn't mind, though; he just sat there and held his boyfriend close, rocking the blond until eventually, Bel had cried himself into sleep.

It was then Takeshi allowed his own tears to fall as he hugged the older male close to him. Squalo patted the younger's back awkwardly. "Hey… He's not dead yet… And you said it yourself; you can always try for another baby… That one he was pregnant with… You knew it, too, didn't you…? You knew he was never going to be able to have it…"

Takeshi nodded. "I knew… I didn't want to upset him and tell him his pregnancy was never going to work this time… He was… so excited to have another baby…"

"He was finally able to have one in an environment he feels safe in; he didn't want to believe he would lose it like he had with Verde… He got his hopes up, Takeshi… You need to look after him; he isn't… Lussuria told me what Shamal said… His body is… very weak… Whatever Verde did to him, he's lucky to still be alive after everything that's been done to his insides… He's not going to be well physically, and he's going to need lots of support – both physically and emotionally. I don't like saying this, but… if there's one subordinate of mine I don't want to lose, it's that little shit…"

Takeshi nodded. He scooped Bel up in his arms so he could carry the older male back to bed and let him rest. "Squalo… I… I won't let him live in depression, Squalo. I've been there, and I can't let him stay in that hell I was in. I'm going to help him; I promise."

Squalo followed the younger male out of the bathroom. He moved to Chiara's swing so he could pick the baby up and nurse her for a few minutes; Bel never had liked him near his daughter for some reason, so he planned to take full advantage of this moment. "I have faith in ya, kid. You'll snap him out of it – maybe not now, but some day. Hey, make sure you keep him asleep for a good while and give him an excuse if he wakes up; I wanna take Chiara out into the sunlight for a bit – she never leaves the fuckin' room and it's disgraceful. Poor kid can't grow up knowing only four walls."

Takeshi laid next to his boyfriend and pulled the blankets over them. "You should be her uncle, you know?"

"Voi! Like fuck I'm an uncle!" Seconds later, Squalo's voice dropped to a thoughtful hum. "But that's not a bad fuckin' idea… Uncle Squalo… Yeah. I like that."

Takeshi couldn't help but smile; he knew the Varia members wouldn't openly show it, but they absolutely adored their young comrade and his baby. Maybe they weren't the most perfect family Bel could have had, but they _did_ love and care about him, and the Vongola Rain sincerely doubted anyone else could have supported Bel as well as they had through all of this. It warmed his heart knowing that, no matter what, Bel always had shoulders to lean on – he just had to learn that himself and stop trying to shoulder the burden alone.

"You're loved a lot more than you realise, Bel." Takeshi caressed the smaller male's cheek as he laid by the other's side and stared out of the window. "You're lucky; you just don't know how to see it yet. But I'm going to help you – I promise."


	18. Chapter 18

"Hello, there. Is this Chiara?"

Bel felt a lump in his throat that prevented him from swallowing. He nodded as he looked down at his hand that clutched his daughter's tightly; he was terrified, and it was taking every ounce of strength he had in him to not pick Chiara up and run far away. "…"

"My, what a beautiful little girl she is."

Bel felt as if he were on the verge of hyperventilating as he looked desperately to Takeshi; he couldn't do this by himself, and he needed his boyfriend to help him. "Takeshi…"

Takeshi smiled. He wrapped his arm around Bel's hips and nuzzled his nose in against the blond's temple. "It's okay, Bel; she's going to be safe here. She's four; pre-school will be good for her."

Bel chewed at his lip. He looked between the lady in charge of the pre-school and his daughter, and he felt sick at knowing he was finally having to part from Chiara; he wished he could keep her in the Varia Mansion at all times, but he knew that was selfish of him and, without other kids for her to interact with, he would only damage her wellbeing.

But still… He only wanted to keep Chiara safe…

Bel knelt down so he was eye level with Chiara. His hands shook as he reached out to fix her jacket. "C-chiara… I… I won't be staying here with you… Okay…?"

Chiara's purple eyes – the only physical feature she had inherited from her parent – filled with sadness. She reached out with chubby hands in a silent request to be picked up. She waited until she was being held against the warm chest she knew so well before she asked in a soft voice still slurred from her young age, "Where's daddy gonna be?"

Takeshi was the one to answer for his lover; he knew this was hard enough for the older male as it was. "Bel and I are going to do some things in town, and we will be back to get you in a few hours, okay? There'll be other kids here for you to play with, and you'll have fun."

At these words, Chiara smiled brightly and started struggling to get free; she had always wanted to play with other kids, but never before had she been around them. She knew Takeshi often tried to talk Bel into letting him take her to the park, but the blond was adamant in not letting her past the Varia grounds. She didn't understand why he didn't let her go very far from the mansion, and though she loved her parent, sometimes she felt lonely and bored.

"Chiara…" It took Bel everything he had to not break down on the spot as he watched his daughter ditch him for the worker; he wasn't used to being second-best to someone when it came to her, and it hurt greatly to watch as Chiara raised her arms in the air for the woman to pick her up. He ducked his head as he scrunched his eyes shut and made a strangled noise as he fought against his emotions.

The woman frowned as she looked at Bel. Her gaze moved to Takeshi before she said, "Is he okay?"

"Ah, he's okay." Takeshi smiled back at her as he rubbed his boyfriend's back. His Italian was limited, so it wasn't easy for him to hold a conversation with someone by himself. "He already misses Chiara. He is… Eh… Bel, how do you say it? Ah! He is very protective of Chiara and it's hard for him to trust her to be safe."

The woman nodded in understanding. "I see that a lot in young parents; it's hard for them to separate at first. He must have been young when he had Chiara."

Bel flinched. He knew the stranger had no idea how Chiara had been conceived and must have assumed he had been with a girl at some point, but still… He knew the truth, and no matter the years that had passed by, it was still very hard for him to think about what he had been put through. "…"

"Oh, he was. His girlfriend walked out on him shortly after Chiara was born, so he's raised her by himself." Takeshi knew the cover story; say whatever he wanted about Bel's "ex" and pretend that he hadn't been kidnapped and experimented on and raped countless times.

"He's done a wonderful job; she's beautiful." It was then the woman saw the sad look on Bel's face. She smiled comfortingly before he said, "There's no need to be sad, Belphegor; we'll take good care of Chiara."

Before Bel could respond, Chiara spoke again with such innocence, the blond couldn't even be upset with her; he knew his daughter didn't know any better, and he would just have to have a talk with her when he brought her home later. "My daddy's always sad; he stays in bed and cries lots."

"Ne, Chiara-chan, don't talk about Bel like that. Okay?" Takeshi's warm smile never faltered. "He's getting better; he tries very hard to be happy and is doing his best. So don't say things like that or else you'll make him feel sad."

Bel looked away when he heard Chiara apologise; he always felt uncomfortable whenever she said sorry to him as he hated the idea that she might feel as tiny and scared as he used to when his parents would beat him in punishment – he never wanted her to know the emotions he did, and he wished she would never apologise to anyone for _anything_.

"We'll see you soon, Chiara-chan; have fun with the other kids, okay?" Takeshi ruffled the girl's raven locks before he stood up straight again and looked down at Bel. He took the older male's hand in his and squeezed it tightly as Bel said goodbye to his child. "Ne, Bel-chan, let's go have some breakfast. You must be starving."

The blond hummed as he rubbed his stomach; he hadn't eaten anything since yesterday's breakfast, and he _was_ starting to feel it now. He took one last look at Chiara before he forced his feet to turn around and walk out of the pre-school; he had to trust Takeshi when he said Chiara would be safe there.

"What do you want to eat, Bel? I kind of feel like some pizza, actually. What about you?"

Bel raised his hand to his mouth as he fought back a wave of nausea; as hungry as he was, he was finding it harder and harder to eat because the idea of food kept making him feel sick. He had overheard Squalo on the phone to Shamal about it once, and though the long-haired man worried, he hadn't told Bel what the doctor had said; only that if the Varia Storm stopped eating, he was going to get very sick.

"Bel? Do you feel sick again, Bel-chan?"

Bel leant into the strong arms that wrapped around him. He rested the side of his face against his lover's chest as he returned the embrace; he felt safe and warm when he was with Takeshi, and it was enough for him to whisper, "Just a little… It's the pizza… You can get pizza if you want; I… I just won't eat anything…"

"Ne, Bel-chan has to eat, too, and if pizza is making him feel unwell, we'll have breakfast elsewhere. What about something light so it doesn't upset your tummy?"

The older male hummed again. He raised his hand to his mouth again as the nausea came harder this time. When it settled, he mumbled, "I just want an egg…"

Takeshi kissed his boyfriend's temple in understanding. "Then we will get you an egg. When we get home, you should have a nap; you look exhausted."

"I am…" Bel tilted his head back so he could kiss the younger's lips. He lifted his hand so he could ghost his fingertips against Takeshi's cheek as he did so; he loved his boyfriend, and he knew the other was the only reason he was alive today. He let out a small moan as he parted his lips and allowed a hot tongue into his mouth; month-by-month, it was slowly becoming easier for him to have open-mouthed kisses as he learnt to associate them with love instead of the oral rape he had received so many times in that wretched place.

Takeshi smiled brightly when they broke away for air; he remembered how everyone had had their suspicions on how long Bel was going to live for, and the most generous one of all was when Squalo had said their Storm Guardian would at least live to see his eighteenth birthday - at that time, it was only a few months away. But to their surprise – and honestly, joy, as well – the blond had celebrated his twenty-first birthday a little less than a month ago. Sure, Bel was still very depressed and anxious, but he had stopped trying to kill himself, even if there were still the nights where Takeshi had to plead with him to come out of the bathroom and put the knife down.

But in moments like these, even if no one else could, Takeshi could see the strength Bel still had in him, and he knew that if he could foster that strength and resilience, the blond could come out of the hell he was living in. He knew it wasn't going to be easy, and there was still a long way to go, but Bel could do this; Takeshi was _sure_ of it.

 _ **~~XX~~**_

To say that Bel was over the moon about finally being able to pick his daughter up from pre-school was an understatement; he had been looking forward to it all day, and now that he had been able to do so, there was an obvious skip in his step that was so rarely seen these days. As quiet and withdrawn as he had become since the kidnapping, he didn't even mind when Chiara talked his ear off about her day and the kids she had been able to play with.

So when the girl asked to go to the park again, Bel's happy mood faltered as anxiety overwhelmed him; if he let her go to the park, then she would have to be around other people again… He himself was still recovering from his assault, and it wasn't easy for him to have to come out of his room – he had never been to a park himself, but he had heard that they were usually crowded with kids and parents alike, and he didn't know if he had the strength he needed to be able to cope with it; he had already used up a large amount of it in having spent the day in town shopping with Takeshi.

"Daddy! I wanna go park! Pwease!"

Bel swallowed thickly as he turned around to look at Chiara from the front passenger seat of Takeshi's car. He chewed at the inside of his lip for a few moments before he shook his head. He spoke quietly. "Daddy doesn't feel well, Chiara…"

Takeshi chuckled from the driver's seat. "Why not let her go for once, Bel? She's a kid; let her enjoy her childhood while she still can. She can't stay in the mansion all the time."

Bel pouted. He crossed his arms against his chest and looked out of the passenger window as he muttered, "But I let her play by the back door…"

"Ne, Bel-chan, that's not a park; it's her playing alone with her toys in the grass closest to the mansion. Come on; I'll be with you both and I won't let anything happen."

"…" Bel shuddered. He knew his lover was right and that it wasn't fair for him to take his insecurities out on his daughter, but he couldn't help it; maybe he was pathetic for letting what Verde had done to him affect him so much, but he couldn't help but feel so scared and depressed all the time… In an effort to help with his anxiety, he changed the subject. He leant down and grabbed one of the shopping bags from his feet so he could pass it to Chiara. "Takeshi and I bought this for you today. It's a –"

"- But I wanna go park…!" When Chiara stuck her bottom lip out, she knew she had won; Bel never had been able to resist it.

Bel hated saying no to his daughter, having heard it his entire childhood himself – he always left it up to Takeshi to deal with moments like these, but right now, there was no escape for him to leave his boyfriend to tell Chiara no, and all he could do was sigh and hug himself tight. "…Okay… But only for a few minutes… If there's anyone else there, we're going to go back home."

"Bel, that's why she wants to go to the park; so she can play with other kids. You've got to let her have that; it's something all kids need."

Bel pouted further. He said nothing as Takeshi started driving to the park, and though it took only a few minutes to get there, he finally exhaled the deep breath he had been holding anxiously upon finding that the park was vacant. He waited until the car had been stopped and turned off before he undid his seatbelt and got out of the vehicle.

"Park! Park!"

Bel could have had a heart attack when Chiara bolted from the car as soon as Takeshi had undone her straps; it terrified him to see her running away like this, and all he could do was run after her and grab her hand, even if she was in no danger whatsoever. "Chiara, don't _do_ that! Don't run from me like that again!"

"Bel-chan, there's no need to be upset; she didn't run across a road and there's no one around to grab her. Chiara-chan, next time hold our hand instead of running, okay?"

Chiara beamed up at the Japanese male as she nodded. "Wanna pway!"

Bel was hesitant to lead his daughter over to the playground; he didn't want her here at all, and it made it hard for him to leave her side; what if someone came and snatched her like how _he_ had been kidnapped…?

But before the blond could think too much about it, Takeshi called him over to the bench. He hesitated to go over, but when he finally did, he sat next to his lover. "Bel-chan, I know how stressed you are right now, but you should go and play with Chiara."

Bel couldn't stand to admit it, but he trusted Takeshi. He ducked his head as he whispered, "I… don't know how to play with her… I never… I never got to play when I was little… I don't know what to do…"

Takeshi understood; Bel had never had the kind of childhood _he_ had, and because of that, the blond had never learnt how to interact properly with his daughter. Sure, he did a great job of looking after her, but when it came time to play with Chiara, he was clueless, and that in turn made him shy away even more. It wasn't his fault, but Takeshi knew his lover could still learn. He threaded his fingers through the other's growing hair and said, "Just do what Chiara's doing, Bel-chan; she'll teach you."

"But I don't… T-takeshi…"

"Trust me on this, Bel; it's not as hard as it seems."

"…" Bel looked to his daughter, finding the girl was climbing up the slide. He cocked his head to the side; how was he supposed to go along with that kind of thing? "…Takeshi… I don't… She's going _up_ a slide… What am I… supposed to do…?"

"You can always push her up it." Takeshi nudged his boyfriend's shoulder. "Go on; give a try."

"…" Bel finally nodded. He stood up and approached the slide. "Chiara… I'm… Let's play together… Alright…?"

Chiara let out a squeal of excitement as she jumped onto her father; the blond had never played with her before, and she was so excited. "Pway! Pway!"

Takeshi watched happily as Bel quickly adjusted into playing with his child; Bel may never have learnt as a child, but that didn't mean it was too late for him; he was doing well, and that was all that mattered.

"Oh…" Takeshi frowned as his attention was grabbed by his phone ringing from in his pocket; he had just been about to get up and join the others. He grabbed the device and answered the call when he saw it was from Tsuna; why was the other ringing when it would be so late back in Japan? "Tsuna, what's happening?"

From the other end of the line, Tsuna sounded uncomfortable. "Y-yamamoto… I… I'm sorry to drop this on you, but… Can you find somewhere private… away from Belphegor…?"

"What?" Takeshi looked to his boyfriend, finding the other was still at the playground. "Yeah, he's with Chiara. Why can't I talk with him around?"

"…Because if he overhears, he's… Yamamoto… Gokudera-kun and I are at the Varia Mansion. We didn't tell you because we didn't want Belphegor finding out. Yamamoto… When you guys come back… Belphegor… Belphegor is… Well… We're going to be having a meeting, and… And… Verde's here…"

In a split second, anger and hatred Takeshi had never felt before washed over him; if he was going to be face-to-face with Bel's assaulter… Well… He didn't think even _he_ would be able to hold himself back…


	19. Chapter 19

Takeshi felt a sick feeling in his stomach as he drove his car into the garage; he hadn't said anything about his phone call to Bel, and he hoped with all his being that perhaps his friends were just playing some sort of sick joke on him and there _was_ no Lightning Arcobaleno waiting for them in Bel's home. He couldn't even fathom _why_ the Varia would let Verde into the mansion like this; he knew _he_ wasn't the only one out for blood after what had been done to Bel…

So why… was this happening…?

After putting the gear into neutral and lifting the handbrake, Takeshi looked over to Bel. The blond was fast asleep, tired from having spent so long playing with his daughter. Likewise, Chiara was also sleeping, and he truly didn't have the heart to wake either of them – not if what Tsuna had said was true and they were going to have to deal with something like this…

But alas, the Vongola Rain knew he couldn't leave them in the car, so instead he got out of the vehicle and moved to Chiara's side so he could carry the girl inside himself. He didn't wake her; she was fine sleeping in his arms and he had every intention of taking her to her room to let her sleep. It was Bel he had to wake, as much as he didn't want to; the blond was looking so peaceful for once, and he didn't want to ruin that now of all times.

"Takeshi…" Bel murmured the younger's name before he rubbed at his eyes. He let out a sigh. "I'm tired…"

"I know, Bel-chan." Takeshi held get the older male out of the car before he said, "I know you're tired, but can you please put Chiara to bed and then meet me downstairs in the living room? I… Squalo texted me earlier and said there's a meeting."

Bel groaned in disdain; he would much rather just go straight to sleep instead of messing around with meetings. "Too tired for that…"

"I know… Trust me, I wish I could let you go to sleep, but… it's orders."

"Stupid orders…" Bel stepped into the mansion as Takeshi held the conjoining garage door open for him. "Stupid Squalo…"

Takeshi chuckled. He passed Chiara over to her parent before he said, "Go upstairs, but make sure you come back, alright? I love you."

"…Love Takeshi, too…" Bel disappeared around the corner to go upstairs, while Takeshi braced himself for what he was about to be walking into; he was angry at the idea of running into Verde, and all he wanted was to join Bel upstairs and protect him from everyone who would ever seek to hurt him.

But instead, all Takeshi could do was walk into the living room and find the usually-empty area was overcrowded for once. He could see the rest of the Varia were gathered, as was the Vongola Guardians, just like Tsuna had said. And, to his dismay, the Rain Guardian saw the Arcobaleno scattered amongst everyone; so Verde really _was_ here…

Takeshi didn't have to stay in the room for long until he felt the tension amongst everyone; the room was thick with it, and everyone seemed to be on edge. He looked over at Squalo, and he wasn't surprised to see the man was staring daggers at Verde, who sat opposite the close-knit Varia wearing a smug grin on his face that showed he felt no remorse for what he had done to Bel.

"Why is _he_ here?" Takeshi, who had always been one of the most level-headed, calmest guardians of them all, couldn't keep the bitterness from his tone as he pointed to the Lightning Arcobaleno. He couldn't help but shake from the rage quickly growing inside of him, and it was taking everything he had to keep his cool.

Tsuna was the one to answer his guardian. He spoke in a tone full of anxiety as he said, "The Arcobaleno… are here to assist us with a threat…"

"But why _him?!_ " Yamamoto took himself by surprise when a shout escaped his lips. He fell silent for a few seconds as he tried to reign in his anger, and when he spoke again, it was in a pained voice. "What he did to Bel… Why are you all still _trusting_ him?!"

"Yamamoto!" Tsuna stood up and moved to his friend's side. He put his hand on shaking shoulders, knowing how the taller male would be taking it harder than most of the others. "Yamamoto, we… We know what he did, and none of us are excusing him from it… But we need him…"

The raven-haired male shook his head. "Why would you do this to Bel, Tsuna?! Why would you force him into the same room with someone who did _that_ to him?! You didn't… You never spent the time with him that I have… He can't… He can't do this, Tsuna… He _can't_ … He's still in pain…"

"Takeshi…? What's going on…?"

Takeshi could have vomited when he heard Bel's anxious voice from the doorway. He looked over his shoulder, seeing the blond refusing to step foot past the doorway after realising how many people there were. "Bel-chan…"

"My, my, I'm pleasantly surprised to see you still alive and kicking; I had almost expected for you to have kicked the bucket by now."

Bel froze as he heard the voice that still haunted his dreams at night. He was barely aware of the tears that were rolling down his cheeks; all he knew was that he felt just like how he had as a teenager at the mercy of Verde's hands. "…"

Takeshi didn't have the chance to say anything; Squalo had already snapped after seeing the look of pure terror on his subordinate's face. "You motherfucking piece of shit! Don't you fucking talk to him! Don't even _look_ at him! I'm going to snap your fucking neck, you sick fucking trash!"

"Squalo! Stop!" Lussuria jumped to his feet and restrained the younger male before the Rain Guardian could do anything; he knew Squalo was serious, and as much as he wanted to assist his superior, now wasn't the time for that; there were other matters at hand, and getting revenge for Bel would have to be held off for now.

"I'm going to fucking kill him for what he did to Belphegor! You hear me, Verde?! You're _dead!_ "

"Yeah, why should we have to make Bel be the one to suffer instead of _him?!_ How is that fair on Bel!?"

"Yamamoto!"

"Shut the fuck up, trash!" If Xanxus' shout wasn't what had shut everyone up, it was the following gunshot that did the job. The man glared around the room angrily as his pistol smoked from the tip, and when he spoke again in a deadly voice, it was clear that there was no room for arguing. "We have a job to do, and if any of you fucks sabotage it before it's finished, I'll kill you and the prince trash myself; he can wait until this is over. Now that all of you have shut the fuck up, the Sawada scum will be explaining everything."

Bel stood silently in the doorway as he cried to himself. He felt as if he were frozen in place, and even when Takeshi moved over to him to try and guide him into the living room, he still could not move; all he could do was stand there and shake in terror. He didn't listen to anything that was being said in the room; his mind was going too fast for him to be able to focus on external stimuli.

Takeshi was worried; it wasn't like Bel to clam up so badly, and he could only imagine what the older male was thinking about. And then, as if testimony to just how badly this situation was affecting him, the blond fell to the ground, unmoving and unconscious, as if the only way he had been able to protect himself was by fainting.

Takeshi didn't know much of what had happened in that moment as he had been so distraught, but what he _did_ know was that his anger was only growing more and more, and for the first time in his life, he was sure he was starting to hate someone.

 _ **~~XX~~**_

Bel's room was dark, the only light that of the moon shining through the windows and illuminating a small section of the room. He felt numb, as if the terror he had felt earlier had consumed every last bit of feeling he had left in him. He knew that Verde was still somewhere in the mansion, and though Takeshi couldn't stay with him as he had to be with the other Vongola, he felt far too empty to be able to do anything other than bring Chiara into his room and keep a watchful eye on her so she wasn't taken away from him, too, just like the other children he had tried to birth while Verde was around.

For the first time since the assaults, Bel's mind wasn't running a mile a minute; instead, all he could think about was – well… _nothing_ ; all he was doing was staring out of the window and at the moon. He almost missed the sound of his bedroom door being opened, but he didn't turn around to face it; even if it were Verde coming back for him, what could he do? Nothing; he was powerless against the Arcobaleno – the fact that he had been held captive for so long proved that. He was weak, and there was no point in trying to resist the other as it would only make things harder on him.

But if the Arcobaleno was here for Chiara? Well, Bel would fight tooth and nail for her even though he knew it was pointless; how could he give up the daughter he loved so much so easily?

"She certainly has grown into a fine specimen, hasn't she?"

Bel groaned quietly in dismay when Verde's voice floated up to him. He sighed, but he didn't even have the energy to speak, let alone roll around and face the baby. "…"

"She would be four by now, right? She may have grown faster in the womb, but here it looks as if she has aged normally." The voice Bel hated so much had gotten ever closer until the blond could feel Verde jumping up onto the bed next to him. "I am curious; has she developed just like any other child her age? Or has there been developments of hers that have been as advanced as her birth? The other children I kept of yours have all showed varying results in my research."

Bel twitched at these words. When he spoke, it was in a whisper. "My babies… are still alive…?"

"Yes. Well, _some_ of them are; of course, it was natural that some of them could have not handle my further research and succumbed to it. From what I am witnessing here, it seems as if this baby has the most normal development of them all. I truly wonder why that is…"

"You're not touching Chiara…" Bel pulled his sleeping daughter closer to him. "I want my kids back…"

The blond flinched when a tiny hand touched his hair and played with the golden locks. He fought against tears as he felt hot breath billow over his ear. When Verde spoke, he could have vomited. "You can have them back, of course… But first, I want you to do something for me…"

"…What is it…?" Was Bel seriously considering siding with the one who had done this to him? At this point, he had no idea what he was thinking; all he knew was that he was desperate to have the kids he had birthed back in his arms so he could love them like he loved Chiara.

Verde's fingers caressed Bel's cheek. "My, my; you certainly are growing up into such an attractive young man; if I wasn't cursed with body, I just might… Ah, but that's a story for another night. What I want _you_ to do is to bring me two people in particular; I have my own research in mind for them, and while I am here, it is a perfect opportunity for me to take them. Did the Vongola _really_ think I would come to aide them? Of course not; I'm here on my own agenda, and you're going to help me."

"…" Bel opened the eyes he didn't realise he had closed. He stared out at the moon once more, feeling more detached from the world than he ever had. His whisper was barely audible, and Verde knew he had won. "Who do I have to give to you…?"

"That loudmouth you call a captain, for one."

"…Okay…"

"And, of course… Yamamoto Takeshi."

"Takeshi…?" Bel pushed himself up with his elbow and looked over his shoulder at the Arcobaleno. "Why Takeshi…?"

"He would be a most perfect test subject, don't you agree?"

"No… Not Takeshi…"

"But don't you want your babies back?" There was a taunting in Verde's voice now, and if Bel was in his right mind, he would realise that there was more than just what Verde was telling him. "If you give him to me, you can have them."

"…"

"Did you know they ask all the time where their father is? Why they have never met him? What am I supposed to tell them? That their father didn't love them enough to try and get them back? It would break their little hearts."

"…" Bel curled into a ball as he grit his teeth. Maybe it was the emptiness that was consuming him, or he had just had his sanity snap for good, but whatever it was, it made him nod. "…Alright…"

Verde smirked. He turned around to leave the room, but before he did so, he said, "Make sure you lead them clueless to one of my hideouts. I will leave directions for you in the coming days. If you do this, you can have your kids back."

Bel said nothing; he didn't understand why, but even now, he was still feeling as numb as he had been since he regained consciousness earlier.


	20. Chapter 20

Bel felt sick come the next day when he stepped into Squalo's office and interrupted a meeting between him and the Vongola Decimo; was he really about to do this? It seemed that way. He had never thought that he'd be about to betray two people he loved so much, but he was desperate to have his kids back, and this was the only way he could do so; was it so wrong of him to be willing to do whatever it took to be able to love and protect his children?

"What are you doing, brat? I'm busy." Squalo wasn't yelling, which was a clear indicator that the man saw through the emotionless mask on his subordinate's face and knew that something was bothering the blond. Bel _did_ have to give credit where it was due; the long-haired man always seemed to know when the blond wasn't feeling right.

Bel's shoulders were taut as he lifted his hands to fumble them in anxiety. It took a few moments for him to be able to speak, and when he did, it was in a tone that wasn't much louder than a whisper. "I… need you to help me with something, Squ…"

"Can't it wait? I need to sort this out with the trash."

The blond shook his head. "No, I… I-it's… It's important…"

Squalo narrowed his eyes so slightly, it was imperceptible; something was wrong with Bel, and he wanted to know what. He looked back at Tsuna. "Trash, we'll continue this later."

Tsuna nodded. "I'll come back tonight."

The brunet left the room without another word, leaving Bel and Squalo alone. The long-haired man cocked his eyebrow as he took in the anxious appearance of the blond; he knew the younger still suffered extreme levels of anxiety, but it wasn't like the other to come to him seeking help; Takeshi was the only one he trusted enough to approach because of his own will. "Alright, brat, spill the beans; what's goin' on?"

"…I…"Bel licked his lips as he looked to the side. "…"

"Bel? Come on, brat; you know you can tell me anything."

"…I need… you to help Takeshi and I with something…"

Squalo wasn't stupid; Bel was hiding something, but he knew the younger well enough to know that interrogating the blond wasn't going to accomplish anything but stressing the Storm Guardian further. He played along; his subordinate was acting weird, and he was going to find out why. "Yeah? What do you need?"

"…I… T-takeshi and I… We're looking for something we lost in town yesterday… When it was storming, we… we stayed at a hotel… But we left stuff there…"

The Rain Guardian knew full-well that Bel was lying; there was another motive behind him wanting Squalo to go with him, but he didn't question it; Bel had been very avoidant ever since the abduction and only opened up to Takeshi – it was concerning for the blond to suddenly come to him with something like this, but he would never turn down the other if Bel wanted his help; he just wanted for his subordinate to be okay.

"Sure, Bel. What hotel?" Squalo stood up. "Let me get my keys."

The blond's hands fumbled again. He looked to his feet before he muttered the hotel he wanted Squalo to take him to. He excused himself in order to get Takeshi, and though Squalo wanted to believe that his subordinate was being sincere to him, he couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was in store.

Trying to ignore his gut feeling and instead trust that Bel was telling the truth, Squalo continued on looking for his car keys. The only problem was, he knew full-well that Bel was up to something; he just didn't want to believe it.

 _ **~~XX~~**_

Bel didn't say a word as he led Squalo and Takeshi up the seemingly-endless flights of stairs in the hotel Verde had told him to meet him at; he was too focused on finding the right room, but it was hard to do when heavy anxiety gnawed away at him and made him want to break down on the spot and beg for the two Rain guardians to save him. He could hear the taller males trying to talk to him, asking him if he were okay, but he never replied; he was sure that if he were to open his mouth, he would vomit from all of the stress he was under.

All of a sudden, it became only too apparent that Bel had been wrong in thinking that he was going to be able to get away with this so easily, because despite the fact that he was a genius and had spent so long in coming up with a way to get the others to Verde, he had neglected to think about just one little problem, and that problem was now presenting itself.

"So what did you leave here, anyway?" Squalo was the last to walk into the room Bel had unlocked with a key the Varia Guardian knew the blond shouldn't have access to so casually; the blond should have handed that key back to reception upon checkout, so why did he still have it?

"What?" Takeshi raised his eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"The brat said you guys left something here yesterday." That feeling in his gut returned with a vengeance, and Squalo couldn't help but think he had made a mistake in trusting Bel; something wasn't right, and with each second that passed, it became more and more apparent that the Storm Guardian had brought them here for something other than searching for lost property.

"What do you mean? We haven't been here before." It was then Takeshi clicked on. He frowned as he looked at Bel. "What are you doing, Bel?"

Bel said nothing; he just watched the two men for several seconds before he lunged at Squalo upon realising the other was trying to back out of the room. He ducked beneath the long-haired man's arm when it came swinging out at him, and in one fluid motion, he positioned himself behind the strategy captain in order to bury one of his blades as deep as he could in the man's back, over and over and over again until he was certain Squalo wasn't going to try and run anymore.

"B-bel…" Takeshi looked like he were in shock, and Bel couldn't blame him; it must have come as a serious surprise to know that the blond had planned something like this, and for no apparent reason.

The blond slid his knife back into his pocket. He looked up at his boyfriend, unable to stop the steady stream of tears from rolling down his cheeks. "T-takeshi… I-I don't want… to hurt you, too…"

"Bel, what are you doing…?" Takeshi had never thought he would be afraid of the older male, but here he was, starting to wonder if he were going to leave this hotel room alive. "Why are you…?"

"I-I have to…" The smaller male rung his hands together. He stepped over the unmoving body of Squalo that had collapsed to the floor in a puddle of blood, but with each step he took towards the Vongola Guardian, Takeshi only stepped back. "H-he said that if… If I gave you to him… I could have… my babies back…"

It was then Takeshi understood, and he couldn't help but feel anger surge through him – not at Bel; never at his boyfriend, but at the one who had made his beautiful lover like this. "Bel… You _know_ you won't get them back!"

"Shut up!" Bel grabbed his head as he gave a distressed whimper. "I-I… I just want them _back!_ "

"You _won't_ get them back, Bel! They're…! You were lied to!"

"He's right, Belphegor."

Bel flinched at the voice he hated so much. He looked at the door to the bathroom, and his heart sunk when he found Verde standing there, with that same smug smile he had grown to resent during his time as a captive. The reality of having been played sunk in, and he had never hated himself more than he did now; he had done this to Squalo and Takeshi, all because he had been too weak to realise he was being lied to and manipulated…

Never before had Bel wanted to die as much as he did right now.

Verde laughed that nightmarish laugh. He rolled his eyes as he said, "Did you really think you'd get your children back, Belphegor? I can give you their bodies if you wish, but it would require a lot of time to gather all their scattered ashes."

Bel's breathing hitched. "…"

"Oh, wait." Verde's smirk widened. "There _is_ one left, if you're interested. But, to be honest, I'm not quite sure you'll want them. There is… problems with that one."

Bel had never moved as fast as he did now in order to grab Takeshi and shove him in the Arcobaleno's direction. "Take him! Just please… give me back my kids…"

Takeshi didn't know what to think; Bel was losing the plot, and he was _dangerous_ once again. He got back to his feet, knowing there had to be something he could do to diffuse the situation, but before he could even begin to brainstorm, a blond blur ran at him a split second before searing pain made itself known in his stomach. He froze, after what felt like an eternity, he finally looked down to see the knife there, with blood quickly pooling onto the floor beneath him.

The Varia Storm gave a loud sob before more tears fell down his cheeks, coming to rest in Takeshi's dark hair. "T-takeshi… I-I love you… But… I… I love… my kids… more… I just want them back… Please… Stay out of the way…"

"…" How was Takeshi supposed to respond to something like that? He wanted to yell and scream about how Bel was still being manipulated, but he could barely manage anything other than the soft gurgle of blood in the back of his throat.

The room was full of Bel's crying for several seconds before he dropped his blade to the floor and dragged himself in Verde's direction. "Give them back… I did what you wanted…"

Verde shook his head. "No, I don't think I want to. At least… not _yet._ I do thank you for bringing me my newest test subjects, but I don't think you can be rewarded for your efforts just yet. After all; I might still need _you_ if these two turn out to be more failures."

"You can't do that!"

"I can and I will." With that said, Verde pulled something out from beneath his white coat. Bel didn't have enough time to see what it was; all he knew was that Verde was running at him with it, and after there was a sharp prick to his neck, his world went black.


	21. Chapter 21

"Xanxus…"

Xanxus' lips curled into a snarl as a soft voice broke through his sleep, but still he didn't bother opening his eyes; if the annoying brat dared keep pestering him as he tried to sleep, he would just have to fire a few rounds off and listen as the other scurried away in fear.

"Xanxus…? Boss…"

The soft clicking of the safety on one of his pistols filled the air, and though it earned a frightened whimper, still the other didn't leave; his subordinate really _was_ suicidal. "One… Two…"

"Boss, w-wait…! Please…" There was a soft sob that accompanied the words, and it was then Xanxus bothered to open his eyes; he knew it wasn't like Belphegor to come to _him_ for help, so why was he here? "H-help…"

Xanxus narrowed his eyes. The front of Bel's clothing was stained in blood, and his hands were coated in the dried substance. There were specs of it on his face and in his hair, but the boss was experienced enough to know that not a single drop of that blood was the blond's own; it had come from someone else, and he wanted to know who. "Whose blood is that, trash?"

Heavy tears rolled down Bel's cheeks and mingled with the blood. It took a few seconds of opening and closing his mouth wordlessly before he was able to say, "S-squalo's… And T-takeshi's…"

Xanxus got to his feet within seconds. He towered over the smaller male as he roared, "What the fuck happened, scum?!"

Bel wiped at his eyes to rid himself of his tears, but it only succeeded in smearing more blood over his face. "…V-verde… He used me… Please… H-help… He has them…"

The scarred man raised his hand with the intention of hitting the younger male as hard as he possibly could, but he stopped when he saw the other cringing in terror. His expression didn't soften at all, but he did drop his hand back to his side as he yelled, "Where are they?!"

"I-I don't know… B-boss, I… I'm sorry… I didn't… I only… I'm sorry…"

Xanxus wasn't moved by his subordinate's words; he merely shoved the damaged male out of his way so that he could stomp towards the door of his office unhindered. Over his shoulder, he snarled, "Stay the fuck out of my way, scum; this is your mess, isn't it? Now we have to clean it up… Useless trash, you are…"

Those words hurt Bel, but he didn't respond to them; he instead waited until the mansion had fallen silent before he snuck back to his own room in hopes of getting himself back together before Chiara saw him, but luck wasn't on his side and his daughter caught up with him just as his hand touched the doorhandle of his room.

"Daddy!" Chiara's tiny feet sounded across the floorboards as she ran to her father. His back was to her, so she wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed up against the back of his legs, but she quickly let go when she felt something wet and sticky clinging to her skin. She frowned as she backed away and saw the blood that had gathered on her. "Daddy… Is daddy hurt…?"

Bel shook his head. He turned around so he could kneel down and take his child's hand. "Chiara… S-something's happened… This isn't my blood; I'm okay… But… I… I need you to be prepared in case… in case Takeshi and Squalo don't come home today…"

"Are they going away?" Chiara was so innocent, and it only caused more pain in Bel's heart.

The blond shook his head. "I don't know… I hope so, Chiara… I really hope so…"

Chiara didn't understand why she was suddenly pulled into a tight hug. It confused her even more when her father dropped his face against her shoulder and started crying into it; she had seen him do these things with Takeshi, but never with her; she knew how hard Bel tried to hide his tears whenever she was around, so why was he crying now? She didn't understand.

"Daddy?" Chiara lifted her arms up so he could wrap them around Bel's neck in her own hug. "Is daddy okay?"

"No, Chiara… No, I'm not…"

Chiara had no idea what she was supposed to do; all she knew was to let Bel keep hugging her, and that was what she did.

 _ **~~XX~~**_

"Daddy…?"

Bel peeked out from the pillow he was hiding under so he could give his daughter a tired look. "What…?"

"When are you gonna come out from the bwankets and pway with me?" Chiara pulled herself up onto the bed so that she could nestle in next to her parent. "I'm bored…"

"I don't want to play tonight, Chiara…" Bel shook his head. "I just… I wanna be left alone for a while… Okay? Go play with Mammy…"

"But, daddy, no one else is here; everyone's gone."

Bel flinched. If they were the only ones home, then Xanxus must have taken both the Varia and Vongola with him to find the two Rain guardians. What if Squalo and Takeshi didn't come back? What if… What if _none_ of them came back…?

"…" Bel closed his eyes as he forced himself to hold back his tears. His voice was choked when he said, "…Chiara… G-go play in your room… Daddy wants his alone time…"

"But I –"

Bel jumped when he heard a loud crash from downstairs; if there was no one else home, then who was it who sounded like they had just smashed a vase? He tensed for several moments before he jumped to his feet and grabbed his daughter's hand tightly; he didn't care how bad he was feeling right now; if someone were here to cause Chiara harm, they were going to have to get through him, first.

There was shouting floating up the stairs now, but Bel couldn't decipher any of it or even work out who it was; his mind was spinning so badly, he could barely focus on anything except the tiny hand in his own; oh, if someone dared touch a _hair_ on her head, he would…!

"Daddy, who is that?" Chiara was too young to understand the concept of danger properly, but even so, Bel hated to hear that her tone was full of curiosity rather than guard; what if she were to run into the enemy's arms one day when he wasn't there to protect her…?

"Shh…" Bel gathered his child into his arms so he could hold her against his chest. He nuzzled his nose against her soft hair, but nothing he could do was a comfort for himself; he was still stressed, and all he wanted was to get away from everyone and everything, to be able to go somewhere he could finally be at peace.

It felt like forever until the footsteps Bel knew were inevitable finally approached his door. He could picture it out; someone was going to burst into his room through the door Chiara had left unlocked, and they were going to take his daughter from him and… and…

Bel didn't dare think more on the subject.

"Bel, honey?"

But then, to Bel's honest surprise, none of what he had expected happened, and instead a soft knock on his door broke through his fright. He recognised Lussuria's voice, and that in itself was enough for him to slowly move back to his bed now that he knew he didn't have to prepare himself for an attack. "Lussu…?"

The door opened and Lussuria stepped into the bedroom. He looked troubled, more so than Bel could remember seeing him. The blond couldn't blame him, though; the Sun Guardian probably knew who had attacked their teammates. "Sweetie, can you come with me, please? I have to show you something…"

The younger male hesitated; did he really want to see what he had done to two people he loved so much…? But even so, he still got back to his feet and carried Chiara over to Lussuria. He flinched when the flamboyant man put a hand on his shoulder, but he didn't shake it off; he was ready to welcome the comfort because it was something he needed in this moment. "What is it, Lussu…? Did you find Takeshi and Squ-Squ…?"

Lussuria nodded. "They're going to be okay, Bel-chan, but there's something else you need to see… May I hold Chiara for you?"

Bel didn't want to pass his daughter off to the other, but he did so anyway; he had a feeling he was going to have to. He followed Lussuria through the corridor and down the stairs towards the infirmary, and with each step he took, the more stressed he became; what was waiting for him past those doors up ahead…?

It was Lussuria who broke the silence once they entered the infirmary. "Honey, this could be very hard for you, so please know everyone's here for you. Alright?"

"Luss…?" Bel tensed. "What happened…?"

"Sweetheart… When we went to get Takeshi and Squalo, we… We brought someone else back with us… We thought you should know…"

Bel's heart started racing; could it… Could it really be…? In the tiniest voice he had ever used, he whispered, "Who is it…?"

The taller male shook his head. "Come have a look, hon…"

The Storm Guardian swallowed thickly as he forced his legs to move again. He walked past the bed he could see Squalo laying in, with his eyes closed and a ventilator over his mouth. He winced. He tried to ignore the other bed where he could see Takeshi sitting up in it and watching him with a blank expression on his face, but it was hard to do so when he knew it was all _his_ fault they were here in the first place. The other Vongola guardians who were gathered by their friend's bed gave the blond small smiles as he passed, and Bel had to wonder; did they know the truth of why the Rain Guardian was injured at all…?

And then, finally, when they passed by the two beds and got to the very end of the infirmary, Lussuria stopped by a privacy curtain that had been pulled around the stretcher. He gave Bel a serious look before he said, "You go in, honey. I'll stay here with Chiara. Call out when you want me."

Bel tried to swallow past the lump in his throat, but it wasn't easy to do; his head was swimming, and all he wanted in this moment was to disappear. But instead, he forced himself to enter past that curtain and see what Lussuria had brought him to.

"O-oh…" Bel's breath caught in his throat as he stared at a tiny body curled up beneath the blankets. With their long, golden hair that looked as if it had never been cut before, it was hard to tell if he were looking at a girl or a boy, but that didn't matter to him; he knew in his heart that what he was looking at right now was probably the only one of his children he would ever get back from Verde's clutches. He licked his lips as he took in the sight of the bandages wrapped around their tiny limbs, and it broke his heart to see them shake so violently from fear and watch him as if they expected him to hurt the child. Bel shook his head as he slowly moved closer to the bed.

Without a word, he climbed onto the mattress and gathered his missing child into his arms. He hated the frightened whimper the younger made, and it hurt him more than anything ever had to know that he was the reason the other was trying so hard to get away, but he couldn't let that get to him right now; he didn't know what his child had been put through, and he needed to reassure the other that it was okay to trust him.

"Shh…" Bel tightened his arms around the small body, but all it seemed to do was make the other thrash harder. "It's okay; I'm here now… I'm here… You're safe…"

The child only started to cry at these words, but Bel couldn't blame them; he could only imagine the things Verde had done to his child.

"It's okay to cry; you're safe now. You're safe."

Bel didn't know how long had it taken, but after what felt like decades, his child finally stopped crying and instead rested quietly against his chest. He gave a relieved sigh, glad that he could at least soothe the kid, though he wondered if the other would ever come to trust him or think of him as their parent; it was doubtful at best, but he could always hope.

"Your hair is really long…" Bel had never been so gentle as he threaded his fingers through the dirty mattered locks. He looked into purple eyes that conveyed nothing but fear and exhaustion. "I can get Lussu to make it all nice again. Would you like that? He does my hair for me, too."

The child shook their head. "…"

"Well… I want to brush it; get all of the knots out. Is that alright?" Bel didn't receive any kind of response, so after calling Lussuria in past the curtain, he requested a comb, scissors and a bottle of a dry shampoo. He didn't say anything until the Sun Guardian returned and gave him what he needed, and as carefully as he could, he started working at his child's filthy hair.

"Are Squ and Takeshi gonna be okay, Lussu…?" Bel was quiet. He was trying to brush through a particularly bad knot, but it soon became apparent that the only way it would come out was to be cut off.

Lussuria nodded. He looked up from where he was playing patty cake with Chiara so he could say, "It doesn't seem like Verde had gotten to them yet. But, sweetie… We're going to have a long talk about selling out our comrades like that…"

Bel flinched. "…"

"It's alright, hon; I know you were used. We aren't going to worry about it right now; we have other things on our minds. For now, focus on your child."

The blond nodded. He cut through another lock of hair before he raised the comb once again to less resistance this time. "…Is Takeshi mad at me, Lussu…?"

"I don't know, hon. I don't think he is. I think he's just hurt that you would do that."

Bel sighed. "…"

A few more minutes passed by in silence, and finally Bel had completed his task of brushing his child's hair. Now that the mattered mess was out of the way, he was able to see that, right now, he was holding his son close to him. He was disappointed the younger hadn't spoken at all, but he could understand; the boy was probably traumatised, just like _he_ still was.

"Does that feel better?" Bel smiled when the boy turned around to look at him, but still he received no response.

"Sweetie, what's your name?"

"Cappi." It wasn't the boy who spoke; it was Bel interjecting before anyone else even had a chance to open their mouths. He sounded incredibly defensive over it, and even when Lussuria gave him a concerned look, he growled, "His name is _Cappi,_ Lussuria!"

It took a few moments for Lussuria to speak again, but when he did, he simply nodded. "Alright, Bel-chan. He's your child; you can name him whatever you want."

The sudden aggression the blond had been showing disappeared, and it was replaced by an all-too-familiar exhaustion. "We're going to our room. Come on, Chiara."

Lussuria didn't try and stop them; he knew that Bel just wanted to be alone with his two kids where he felt safest. He watched as the blond got off the bed with the newly-christened Cappi in his arms, but he couldn't help but wonder; would the Storm Guardian be able to piece together his son after a life of knowing nothing but Verde…? He certainly hoped so.

Bel waited until Chiara had come to his side so he could hold her hand before he started leaving the infirmary, but before he could do so, he stopped at the foot of Takeshi's bed. He shuddered beneath the gazes of the Vongola, but still he whimpered, "T-takeshi… Your chin… What happened to it…?"

Takeshi lifted his hand up to ghost over the deep cut to his chin. He frowned, but no matter what had transpired between him and Bel just hours ago, he still spoke in a kind tone. "Don't you remember, Bel-chan? You did that…"

Bel chewed at his lip before he shook his head. "Not that one… I didn't… I don't remember doing that…"

"You did, Bel. When you shoved me. It's okay, though. Don't worry about it. I'm not mad."

The Storm Guardian rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet for a few moments before he shook his head. "I'm… going to our room…"

With that said, Bel hurried out of the infirmary, unable to be around the others any longer; he was only going to get stressed further, and he couldn't deal with that today.


	22. Chapter 22

In the days that had passed, Bel hadn't found it easy to look after Cappi; the boy seemed terrified of everyone, and no matter how hard Bel tried, it wasn't easy to calm his child down and keep him relaxed. He was glad that Chiara was as easy as always and was accepting of having a big brother, but the only problem was that she always wanted to play with Cappi, and it always upset the boy whenever she tried to get too close. Bel was worried his son wasn't acting this way just because of trauma; he had a feeling there was something deeper to the behaviour – but no matter what, he was going to love and care for his children as best he could.

Breakfast time always seemed to be one of the harder parts of the day for both Bel and Cappi, especially since Takeshi was still in the infirmary and he and Bel hadn't crossed paths since the whole Verde incident. Takeshi had always been the one to get up in the mornings and prepare breakfast for the three of them since Bel never had motivation to get out of bed until afternoon, but now with him gone, it was up to the blond to set an alarm and force himself from under his blankets, no matter how badly he wanted to curl up and sleep.

Forcing himself out of bed was one of the hardest things he had ever done, but he had to do it; his children deserved their breakfast, even if the thought of eating would only make him nauseas.

"Chiara, please don't play with your food." Bel sighed as he flicked the crumbs from his daughter's croissant off his blankets and onto the floor. He was glad that supervising breakfast was a little easier than he had anticipated; at least he could rest against his pillows and close his eyes for a few seconds every now and then. "It's for eating; not picking apart."

"Takeshi lets me pick it!" Chiara cocked her head to the side. "When is Takeshi coming back?"

"I don't know…" Bel sighed. He looked down at the bowl he was holding as he dipped a spoon into the porridge Lussuria had helped him cook that morning for Cappi; it had become only too apparent that the boy had been badly starved during his time with Verde, and because of the neglect he could only eat small amounts of soft foods until he was able to gather more strength. "Cappi, are you still hungry?"

Cappi shook his head. He had not said a single word since Bel had gotten him back, which was another factor that made his parent so worried; surely by now the boy should have said _something_ …

"Well… Takeshi liked for us to have baths after breakfast, so…" Bel scratched his cheek nervously; it was true he had always left the bathing part up to his boyfriend as he found it too much to put his daughter in the bath, so how was he going to do this? "W-well… Maybe we'll wait another day and see when Takeshi comes back…"

With that said, Bel dropped the spoon into the bowl so he could put them on the bedside drawer. He yawned as he laid down and pulled the blankets over him, and once he was comfortable, he reached out to gently lay Cappi next to him; he hadn't realised until now just how crucial Takeshi was for his motivation. "Let's lay down for a bit longer, Cappi… Chiara, are you almost finished your breakfast?"

"Yes, daddy."

"Good… I'll take you to pre-school soon; Tsuna said he'll drive us after he finishes his paperwork." Bel tried not to let it get to him when Cappi put up a small fight against being held in his father's arms, but he quickly tired himself out; he just didn't have the energy for it. The older blond sighed, but he didn't say anything; Cappi didn't need to be scolded for something he couldn't help.

While Bel tried his hardest to stay awake for his kids, he couldn't help but begin to drift off as he waited for Tsuna to come and get him; he was exhausted, and his eyelids were just too heavy to hold open any longer. But before he could start to doze, his bedroom door opened and upon cracking his eyelids open, he found Takeshi standing in the doorway. He sat up quickly, his breath catching in his throat; what was going to happen now…?

Nothing was said for a few moments until the Rain Guardian started to close to the distance between them, but even with Takeshi walking closer to the bed, Bel was still worried; would the other never love him again for what he had done…? He hoped not.

"Hey, Bel…" Takeshi sounded as tired as he looked, and Bel couldn't help but flinch; it was all his fault… "Tsuna told me they found one of your kids… Is this them?"

Bel nodded. He placed a gentle kiss on his son's head before he said, "His name is Cappi… I don't know if he can understand Japanese, though; he doesn't talk at all…"

A small, sad smile crossed Takeshi's face. "He just needs time to settle in and get to know you, Bel-chan. I know why you did what you did; you just wanted him back… It's okay, Bel-chan; I'm not mad at you. You were… just hurting… That's all."

"…I love you, Takeshi…" Bel closed his eyes. "I love you so much…"

"I love you, too, Bel." Takeshi knelt down so he could kiss his boyfriend's lips. The kiss lasted for several seconds before they broke apart for air, and when they did, the Rain Guardian said, "I'm going to go for a drive with Tsuna to take Chiara to preschool. Stay here with Cappi; it might upset him to be dragged around so soon."

"It will… He's… always so scared, Takeshi…" Just thinking about the way his son would cower at everything broke Bel's heart. He wished there was something he could do that would take Cappi's pain away forever, but he knew it was hopeless; what could he do to save his child when he couldn't even save himself…?

"I know, Bel…" Takeshi shook his head. He gave a sigh of sadness before he stood up and moved to Chiara's side so that he could pick her up and give her a hug. "Hey, Chiara-chan; long time no see."

Chiara smiled brightly as she wrapped her arms around Takeshi's neck. She snuggled in close as she said, "I missed you, Takeshi! Daddy missed you, too; he kept crying for you in his sleep."

"It's okay, Chiara; your dad and I are going to have a talk about things today. It'll be alright, though; I'm not going to leave him, so don't worry; I'm not going anywhere." With that said, Takeshi turned back to face his boyfriend. "Bel-chan, you should get some sleep; you're really tired. It's too early for you."

Bel hummed. He didn't argue; he was too exhausted for that, so instead he closed his eyes and allowed himself to drift off into a fitful sleep as he listened to the sounds of Takeshi getting Chiara ready for preschool.

 _ **~~XX~~**_

Takeshi loved to see how gentle his boyfriend was with Cappi; it was clear that there was something more to the boy's damaged behaviour, and though he knew it must be very taxing on Bel to be dealing with it, he was glad that the blond's love and parental instincts were enough for him to be able to remain so patient with his child.

The only problem was, though Takeshi could see that Cappi was slowly settling in with Bel, the same couldn't be said for anyone else; whenever he had tried to approach Cappi, all it had resulted in was tears and screaming. Takeshi hated to see how the child's reaction brought tears to Bel's eyes, but he couldn't blame either of them; they had both been through so much...

"Are you going to put him in Chiara's room, Bel-chan?" Takeshi was seated at the desk in the corner of Bel's room as he watched his boyfriend rock his child to sleep.

Bel shook his head. "Not yet… I don't want to separate with him until he's better. He's been sleeping with me since I got him back."

Takeshi smiled. "You're a wonderful parent, Bel. Your kids are lucky to have one like you."

The older male nodded. "Takeshi.. I want another baby…"

The Rain Guardian frowned; he knew Bel wouldn't be able to cope with a third, much less another pregnancy at this stage in his life… Hell, they hadn't even made up yet for what had happened in that hotel…! "Right now, Bel-chan?"

"No… I have to look after Cappi first… But I do want another baby soon… Can we have another one…? I mean…Cappi and Chiara are _my_ kids… I really want to have a baby with _you_ …"

"Bel, you know I'd love to have my own kid, but I don't think having another one so soon is going to be a good idea. I think we should hold off for a few years first. Okay?"

"Alright…" The Storm Guardian pulled back his blankets so he could lay his now-sleeping child beneath them. He tucked Cappi in tight before he stood up from his bed and walked over to his boyfriend. He sat on the younger male's lap and whispered, "I love you, Takeshi… I'm so sorry… about what I did to you…"

Takeshi shook his head. "I understand. I still love you, Bel. So, so much."

A faint smile tugged at the corner of Bel's lips. "…If… If it weren't for Cappi, I'd… We could… You know… Make up…"

Takeshi chuckled. "Maybe. But I'm out of condoms, and you know it's too risky for you without them."

"Shishi~ Takeshi should get some more… Mmm, forget that; I wanna… I wanna go on a date with Takeshi…"

"I don't think a date would be a great idea at the moment, sweetheart, but we could certainly go and have a nice lunch downstairs together."

Bel smiled. "Will you make us sushi?"

"Of course I will; whatever you want, honey."

The smaller male felt so warm inside; he loved whenever his partner would use pet names for him because they always made him feel special. He kissed the cut on his boyfriend's cheek. "I love you..."

"I love you, too, Bel-chan. Come on; I'm rather hungry myself."

Bel felt his lips twitch into a smile, something that happened so rarely these days, it was a foreign feeling for him now. "Takeshi makes the best sushi… Ne, Takeshi, did Lussu let Squ out of the infirmary yet?"

"Not yet, but he'll be okay. And before you worry about it, Squalo understands, too. So don't stress, okay?"

Bel nodded. He reached out for his lover's hand as they walked through the long corridor towards the staircase. He felt so safe listening to his boyfriend humming on their journey to the kitchen, and all he wanted in that moment was to stay by the younger's side forever, to be with someone he knew loved him so much and would do anything for him and his kids.

"Takeshi…?"

"Yes, darling?" Takeshi kissed the smaller male's cheek.

"I… Thank you… for everything… I love you so much, and I… I couldn't thank you enough…"

"There's no need to thank me, Bel-chan; we love each other and that's all that matters. But if you really want to thank me, then come watch me play baseball every now and then. Sound good?"

Bel nodded, even if he weren't interested in sports – if it were what Takeshi wanted, then it was what Takeshi would get. "Don't you dare lose in front of me, then."

Takesh laughed. "When it comes to my beautiful Bel-chan, I won't lose anything for him."

The blond's smile slowly grew until it was a sincere, happy smile that stretched across his face. He didn't know what to say back, but he knew no words were needed anyway; Takeshi always seemed to know what was on his mind anyway.

With that thought, Bel let go of his boyfriend's hand and instead wrapped his arm around the other's waist. He purred in contentment when he received the same embrace, and for the first time in his life, he was filled with hope; with Takeshi by his side, life didn't look so bleak for him or his children.

 **A/N I'm thinking of ending this here, but if you guys want it, I can do one last chapter that will be set five years ahead to canon TYL!Bel TYL!Yamamoto. It's up to you guys, however; I am happy either way. I've really loved and enjoyed working on this story and I hope you all had as much fun with it as I did; I really want to thank every one of you as when I uploaded the first chapter, I truly didn't expect for a story such as this to get so much attention; I believed I would be lucky to get perhaps even ten favourites considering what the story is about. But instead I am very happy with the support I have received for Split Second, and it's thanks to you all that I even got this far with it.**


	23. Chapter 23

It had been so long since Bel had last been able to give birth, he had almost forgotten the exhaustion that consumed him afterwards. Even so, the exhaustion wasn't so bad; he could lay curled up in his comfortable bed with Takeshi and his kids, spending time with his family whether it be by napping, watching TV, or playing videogames together.

Having given birth just a few days ago was still taking its toll on Bel, and as much as he needed to sleep despite the sun having only set perhaps an hour or two ago now, he remained propped up on his mattress by his countless pillows as he held Cappi against his side with one arm around the boy's shoulders and his other hand holding a picture book open for them both to see. It was storming viciously outside, something Bel had learnt years ago was terrifying for his son, so he was doing everything he could in his current state to keep the boy feeling safe. He wasn't sure where Chiara had disappeared to, but he figured she was in the bathroom with Takeshi, helping bathe their newborn.

"And then the – what is it, Cappi?" Bel's voice was soft as he turned his attention to his oldest child when Cappi tugged at his sleeve.

It wasn't unusual for Cappi to take his time in speaking; he had a habit of fumbling with his hands as he tried to gather the courage to speak. Bel knew there was still trauma in the boy, and he also knew it may never heal completely, but even so Cappi had been doing so well and that was the important thing.

Bel smiled gently when he was answered only by the shake of the younger's head. He leant down and placed a kiss on Cappi's forehead when a loud crack of thunder ripped through the sky and frightened his child; he remembered only too clearly the day his son had been diagnosed with autism and was warned dealing with it may be too much for Bel with everything he himself was dealing with – but what did _they_ know? They didn't know how much he loved his kids and how he'd always put them before himself. He didn't care that sometimes Cappi's behaviour stressed him into ill health; his child was special and only needed more love than he had ever known previously.

The older blond let out a yawn as he looked to his bedside table and at the alarm clock next to him. It flashed eight-thirty-one at him in bright letters, and Bel smiled brightly before he turned back to his son. "Takeshi will be back any moment now~ Ne, Cappi, it's bedtime in half-an-hour, okay?"

Cappi nodded. His attention drifted away from his dad as he pulled away from the other's arm and got off the bed to look through the collection of DVDs scattered carelessly by the entertainment system on the other side of the room. He shuddered at the mess Chiara always left behind; he hated having all of the different coloured cases touching, so he sat down and got to work on sorting them back into neat piles that didn't make him feel so stressed.

Bel watched Cappi for a few minutes from the safety of his bed, but when the thunder rumbled again and the boy started rocking on the spot, he slowly pushed himself upright and did his best to ignore the burning in his stomach as he walked to where his son was. "Cappi? It's okay; I promise."

Cappi didn't pull away from the tight hug he was given; now that he wasn't so afraid of touch and had learnt to tolerate his father's hands, he found that he rather enjoyed the closeness he could share with Bel. He didn't return the embrace, but it was okay; Bel's hug was warm enough for them both.

As Bel had predicted, the bedroom door opened only moments later and Takeshi and Chiara stepped into the room, with the newborn tucked safely in Takeshi's strong arms. Bel's excitement grew to unmanageable levels within seconds, and even though he knew he was supposed to be taking it easy until his stomach healed, he still bounded to his feet abruptly and tried to hide the surge of pain he felt behind a happy smile.

"What are you doing out of bed, sweetheart?" Takeshi shifted the baby into the crook of his arm so that he could reach out and put his hand on his lover's shoulder. He wasn't surprised when Bel dived in for a deep kiss; the blond had become so affectionate and loving now that he had finally been able to begin healing from his own trauma.

"Takeshi, let me hold her…" Bel's smile was lopsided from both eagerness and anxiety as he held his arms out for his newest daughter; Takeshi had been looking after her all day for him, and though Bel had nursed her every couple of hours, it still felt as if he hadn't touched his baby in years.

"Get back in bed first, okay?" Takeshi walked his boyfriend back to their bed so that he could tuck Bel in tight beneath the blankets. He waited until the other was comfortable before he passed his daughter to Bel and watched as the blond held the baby in loving arms.

"Daddy, I helped give Haruko a bath!"

Bel smiled at Chiara when the girl clambered onto the bed to sit beside him. "I think you did a good job, Chiara. Oh, you have a split end… Takeshi, we're taking Chiara to the hairdressers first thing in the morning for a trim before she gets more split ends."

Takeshi chuckled. He reached out to curl a golden lock around his own finger as he said, "What about Cappi? Should we get him a trim, too? His hair is getting long again."

Bel shook his head. "I trimmed it last night. Chiara, you're going to get a haircut tomorrow~"

"But, daddy, I got one last week!" Chiara dropped her head to her father's lap so she could look out of the glass doors leading to the balcony and watch the lightning flash through the sky.

"You need another one; princesses don't have split ends." With that said, Bel looked down at his newest child so he could admire her beauty. Already she had thick curls of golden on her head, and he was excited to finally have a daughter that actually resembled _him_ instead of his rapist. He found her pudgy face to be adorable, but what he loved the most was her eyes; even at such a young age, they were the mirror image of Takeshi's kind and loving eyes, and it was the most comfort he had ever gotten from his children. He loved Haruko so much already, and he hoped that, if anything, she would grow up to be just like Takeshi.

Bel wasn't aware of how much time was passing by as he held his newborn close to him; all he knew was that suddenly, Chiara's arms were wrapping around him, and her soft lips kissed his cheek like they did every night before bed. He smiled as he looked at her, and he lifted his hand to thread through her long black hair. "Goodnight, Chiara. I love you."

"I love you, too, dad."

Bel's smile widened. He watched his daughter jump off the bed to join Takeshi before he looked over to Cappi and found the boy watching them warily. He opened his arms wide before he said, "Cappi, come here."

Cappi did as he was told. He didn't return the embrace or the kiss on the forehead he was given, but he did whisper goodnight when Bel told him he loved him. He pulled away when Takeshi tried to take his hand and lead him into his own bedroom; just because he could handle Bel touching him didn't mean it wasn't painful when others would touch him.

"Can I have Haruko, Bel-chan?" Takeshi smiled when his daughter was passed to him. "I'll be back in a few minutes, honey."

Bel's smile never faltered as he watched his family leave the room. He rolled onto his side so that he could reach over to his bedside drawers and grab a few items for when Takeshi would come back; he wanted to surprise the younger, after all.

As expected, it didn't take long at all for Takeshi to put the kids to bed and return. He sat on the mattress next to Bel and allowed the smaller male to snuggle in against him; he was so happy the other could freely show his affections now because Bel was just so sweet.

"You know, the sushi restaurant won't close for another hour." Takeshi wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. "Want me to get a delivery?"

Bel shook his head. He beamed up at the stronger male as he reached for the items he had stashed beneath his pillow minutes before. "I've got a better idea… The kids are in bed and my back needs a massage~"

Takeshi laughed at the bottle of lotion and condom packet he had been handed. He rolled over so that he was leaning above the blond on his hands and knees. He dropped his face to press their noses together. "Is that so, baby? I suppose that could work, ne?"

Bel wrapped his arms around his lover's neck and pulled Takeshi on top of him. He nuzzled their cheeks together. "You know… I was kind of hoping we could do something differently tonight…"

"Hmm? I'm listening." The Japanese male's lips ghosted over the exposed flesh of Bel's throat.

"We've never really… You know… Made my bed rock before~" Bel made a purring sound. "I'm rather curious at how much we could make the mattress squeak, actually~"

Takeshi licked his lips; oh, how tempting the idea of fucking his boyfriend hard and rough was… "Are you sure you're up for it? If it hurts too much, I'll stop, okay?"

Bel nodded. "I'll be okay, Takeshi. I just… I was talking with Squalo today, and he… He really made me curious if it was as good as he said it is. I wanna find out with you~"

The younger male nodded. "Alright, then. It might hurt, so tell me if it does. I love you, Bel-chan."

"I love Takeshi, too~" With that said, Bel kissed the taller male with all the love he had inside of him and prepared himself for what was to come.


End file.
